re:Happiness | Cell Phone Novel

tiring smile | xxxiii - xxxvi

・・・ xxxiii ・・・

He looked away, unable to say anything.

He could hear the pain and sadness in her voice.

A heavy weight settled in his chest.

He couldn't breathe properly.

... Why are you telling this to me?

Rie continued to speak.

She was whispering now.

"He... was a very kind and gentle person.
Too gentle. He was the kind who always helped people without even caring about himself. Mom was the only one left, so he had to support the family and work hard. He would always hide his pain behind a smile. Everyone loved him. I... I looked up to him when I was young. To me, he seemed like a hero. No... he was."

She exhaled quietly.

"Ten years ago, he died."

・・・ xxxiv ・・・

He froze.

"Ah...she's also..."

Her tone took him aback.

There was a bitterness in her voice.

"It happened all of a sudden," she murmured.

"In the end, he couldn't take it anymore. One day, he collapsed from the work. He had overexerted himself too much.

"They carried him to the hospital. When they examined him, they... they found out that he had cancer. He had been hiding it because he didn't want anyone to worry..."

Her voice faded into a choked sob.

"I-In the end, it was his kindness that took away his life.

In the end, he gave and gave and gave and forgot about himself.

In the end... he left us alone."

She shook her head.
She looked down at her shoes, hiding her face.

"I hadn't even noticed how much he was suffering... even though I was the closest one next to him."

・・・ xxxv ・・・

She went silent for a moment.

Then, she finally opened her mouth.

"Before he died... my brother and I made a promise," she whispered.

"... He told me to be a kind person."

She looked up at him, showing another smile.

There were tears falling down her face again.

"So I did."

"I... helped people out even though I didn't want to.

I smiled even when it felt too forced.

I tried my best to be a kind person like him.

I grew up with people believing that my kindness was genuine."

Her lips trembled.

"I... I am not the kind of person you think I am, Ao-kun."

・・・ xxxvi ・・・

A stinging pain sprouted in his chest.

An uncomfortable lump formed in his throat.

She closed her eyes.

"At first... I decided to get close to you because I thought you were like the other people who needed help. I did it, because I thought that was what a kind person would do, not because I wanted to."

"..."

Hashimoto Rie's voice cracked.

"But...

When you asked me how to be happy, that was when I realized it, Ao-kun."

"... Was I really the kind of person I wanted to be, or was I being like this because that was what people expected me to?"