Twenty Three

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Rayna

We are on horseback riding towards Harrenhall. I wanted to ride with Jaime but they refused. Now I have no choice but too bite my tongue while the men mock Jaime. Although I may not take their threats seriously Jaime does, before we left he pleaded with me not to anger them and to keep my mouth closed for my own safety.
"I wonder how many of those fingers we can shove up his ass", one laughs taunting him as the hand they forced him to wear again swings around his neck.
"Oi Kingslayer, has your sister loosened you up for us", another yells and laughter of the Bolton men follows while I swallow my bitter disgust.
Jaime and I will need to talk in length about everything when we reach Harrenhall. I trust Lord Bolton as my bannerman to have enough honour to treat Jaime with some decency. Robb may be King but I am the eldest Stark, with the boys gone I am his legitimate heir and I will use every bit of power my name gives me. In Kings Landing I was a prisoner with no power trying to survive and make a change from within but now I am in my own lands amongst my own people. I fear that time has hardened and changed my dear brother as it's changed me, so once we face Robb I will do whatever I must to protect Jaime.
I know damn well my love for him has blinded me against all the wrongs he has done. Even know the pain he is in has blinded me from the wrongs he has done, I have been a fool and I can't afford to act like one any longer. When we arrive in Harrenhall and when he is stable I will confront him about everything, we only spoke of it once, the last time we had seen each other in the lannister camp. It was more screaming than anything else. I don't want to have this conversation but I know we need to have it. How though can I be cruel to him when he has just lost a hand? Perhaps the price for all his wrongs has been paid and I don't need to punish him any further for what he has done. He crippled my brother and now he has lost his hand, the debt it paid.
"Lady Rayna", Brienne says and she motions her head towards Jaime. I look up towards him to see him half unconscious leaning far to the left, about to fall.
"He is going to fall off his horse", I say but of course no one listens. I flinch as he falls to the ground. When the men approach him instead of helping him they only kick him as he tries to rise.
"Enough!", I order curtly.
"Shut your mouth whore, don't forget you are a fugitive like he is", Locke reminds me "The only reason you aren't bound is because you are a Stark"
Jaime crawls on the ground saturated with mud and vomiting after being given horse piss. How can my own bannermen treat a man like this? In a split second he's risen and has taken of the the men's swords. For a moment everyone including myself freezes as the legendary Jaime Lannister wields a sword. With two hands he would have killed every last one of them but now however I turn my head away, unable to watch as he fights hopelessly against the men with his left hand and is beaten to the ground.
I can't watch this a moment longer "This is madness", I mutter jumping off my horse to go to him.
"Lady Stark", Locke warns, damn being quiet and submissive to a man as low as he.
"I know Roose Bolton personally as he is my Fathers bannerman and he does not condone this treatment of political prisoners", I scold and he is the one who bites his tongue.
"Jaime", I say kneeling down next to him. He groans as he rolls over onto his back. "Jaime"
He looks to me and the defeat in his eyes terrifies me more than anything else.
"You need to stand", I plead quietly "Show strength"
He takes my hand and I help him to his feet. The men don't object as I lead Jaime back to his horse.
"We will be at Roose Bolton's mercy by tomorrow and it will be alright", I promise him but I know Roose Bolton. The truth is he isn't as honourable as I'm making him out to be to scare Locke. The Bolton's are infamous for their cruelty but I am the North's daughter. He will not dare harm me. 

That night we are camped. I sit with Jaime alone.
He's been so silent. So defeated. It terrifies me.
"Jaime, you need to eat", I beg but he sits motionless and still silent. My hand reaches up and touches his face, turning his head towards me. "Jaime what are you doing?"
"Dying", he finally answers.
"Jaime you lost your hand, you aren't dying", I try to say as gently as possible but seeing the strong man I once knew so broken is breaking my heart.
"My sword hand, I was that hand"
"You can learn to fight with the other", I try to assure him.
"You saw me earlier trying to fight", he mutters and I realise it was that defeat that truly defeated him. Losing against a bunch of common soldiers.
"You are one of the greatest swordsmen in Westeros, you can learn to fight with the other"
"I was one of the best", he corrects. He is so numb and defeated, he needs something to keep him fighting.
"Then live to take revenge"
Living for revenge was what kept me going in Kings Landing, it still is.
"I don't care about revenge", he mutters. If anger won't keep him going then perhaps love will.
"Then live for me" I plead stroking his cheek and pressing my forehead against his "Jaime please will you hold on for me, stay strong for just a little longer, for me"
He doesn't respond and I press my lips against his forehead and pepper light kisses across his face.
"Jaime, please", I beg "For so long I've wanted nothing more than to be with you, I am not going to lose any more people I love"
He takes my hand in his and kisses it firmly. The silent reassurance. I sigh in relief and kiss him not caring who may see. I love him and I will not hide it from anyone.
"Are you sure you want to do that, I've been drinking horse piss", he says and I only laugh, feeling reassured that Jaime is still in there. That he is still my Jaime.
"I don't care, I love you", I say honestly not giving a damn.
"And I love you", he says kissing me gently and he finally picks up the food to eat.
I look to Brienne and find her watching, looking rather uncomfortable. She flinches away from my gaze and I realise she has feelings for him. They've been alone together for quite some time, it would make sense. I know those feeling aren't returned but even so I rest my head on Jaimes shoulder letting her see who he has sworn himself to.

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