The Wolf and The Lion || Jaime Lannister

Fifty Seven

Rayna

I enter our room and see Jaime lying in bed.
"It's been a few hours and I'm already going mad with boredom", he comments and I know these next few weeks will be very difficult for him. They will be even more difficult if I go to Dragonstone.
"Well in that case I have something else for you to go mad over", I begin as I sit down on the bed with him.
"What is it?" he asks hesitantly and I decide not to withhold any of the truth.
"I received a letter from Tyrion summoning Jon and I to Dragonstone to meet with Daenerys Targaryen"
He blinks at me vacantly still weary from the pain and I can tell that certainly wasn't what he expected.
"Well you aren't going right?" he asks then he sees the look on my face "Rayna, please tell me you aren't going"
"We need allies", I know that Jaime will be the hardest person to convince.
"The Mad Kings daughter is not an ally, are you aware the last time a Targaryen summoned a Stark they were burned alive"
I grab his hand and hold it tightly "Jaime, Tyrion is the one who sent the letter, he wouldn't summon me unless it was safe, unless there was a chance for an alliance"
His eyes turn cold as I mention Tyrion. "The last time you saw Tyrion he was helping you escape Kings Landing, the last time I saw him was when I helped him escape and he murdered my father", he says angrily "He has changed"
"He killed the man who sentenced him to die", I remind Jaime praying for him to see why Tyrion did it "I know you loved your Father but he sentenced his own son to die"
"Don't", he warns "Don't go there"
"Tyrion is hand of the Queen, he wouldn't serve a foreign Conqueror if he didn't believe she was good, that she is better than Cersei"
"Cersei is nothing compared to a Targaryen, yes Cersei might have a few people assassinated but she doesn't burn people alive"
"Sorry but did you not hear about her blowing up the Tyrells?", I retort, he's always been blind to how bad Cersei truly is.
"Rayna you know why I killed the Mad King", he says darkly "Don't you dare sit there and tell me Cersei is worse than him"
"I am not, I am saying that Cersei is worse than Daenerys Targaryen not the Mad King", I clarify "I've heard good things about Daenerys, that she freed slaves and killed the masters, they call her a liberator in Essos"
"They call her a conqueror. What if she is a vengeance mad daughter, you know well enough what they can do", he mutters and cold fury consumes me.
"Yes would you like to mention how your bastard son had my fathers head cut off while I watched", I snap "It's no wonder I went half mad afterwards"
"I'm not wrong Rayna, you know better than anyone what wanting revenge does to a person", he says trying to cover his snide comment.
"Yes I do, and as far as I'm concerned Cersei has done far more than Daenerys to merit my wrath. Before judging a woman who never even knew her father you should judge the whore who is actually on the Iron throne and will kill us both if she gets the chance", I mutter as I go to move off the bed and storm out but he grabs my hand and pulls me back, wincing in pain as he does so.
"Ray if Daenerys conquers Westeros I am the first one she is going to have her dragons burn alive, I do not plan on standing in the throne room and being burned alive like your grandfather and uncle"
"Yes Jaime, bring what her father did to my family over twenty years ago into this, that's a fucking great idea", I snap pulling my hand free.
"Sorry if I don't want to receive a raven from my brother saying my wife was executed by dragonfire when she refused to bend the knee" snaps right back at me.
"Exactly", I yell "I'm your wife so trust me"
"I just don't want you to get killed, you don't know her and you should know by now to stop taking those types of risks", he yells and I know he means when I went to Winterfell to marry Ramsay. The big risk I took that broke me. He wisely stops himself and lowers his voice "I love you, please just stay here with me and deal with the enemy to the North"
"That's why I need to go, we don't have the men to fight them but she does, if she wants the Iron Throne then this is her problem as much as it is mine, I need to do this for my people, for the North"
"Fuck the North, I don't care about the North I care about you", he snaps grabbing my face and making me look at him "Stay with me please, nothing else matters only us"
The love in his eyes is clear and it makes my heart ache but it's no longer just him and I.
"Jaime, it's not just us anymore", I say quietly as I remove his hand from my chin "I'm a Queen and I need to prepare for war and do what is best for my people"
"Not if it means getting yourself killed"
"I'm going to Dragonstone", I say curtly "That is final"
"Then you better name an heir before you go", he says coldly as I get off the bed "Because I sure as hell won't be taking care of the blood North"
"Feel free to return to Casterly Rock while I'm gone if you hate the North so much", I say viciously as I storm out of the room.
As I'm walking through the halls Bronn stops me. "How is he?"
"Ask him yourself", I mutter and he grabs my arm before I can keep walking.
"Look I don't know what shit show just happened but remember that bastard nearly died"
"I know that, why do you think he hasn't run after me, because he physically can't", I reply and I try to pull my arm free but his grips too tight.
"Exactly, if he could run after you he would, that fucker loves you and you love him", he reminds me "For fucks sake you only got married two fucking days ago"
"Yes I know that", I grumble.
"Why are you fighting then?"
"I'm a Queen and he doesn't see that", is all I say as I pull my arm free and go to the godswood.
I know in my gut that I need to go to Dragonstone. Jaime could be right, she could be a mad queen and kill me as soon as I step foot there but I trust Tyrion. If only Jaime could trust him and see that I need this alliance. But Jaime and I both know that fight was about far more than political alliances. He thinks that it can be just him and I and that nothing else matters. In a different world we would be the Lord and Lady Of Casterly Rock with children and no one else would matter. That world is still a dream to me, I love the North but I spent most of my life wanting to escape it. Jaime once told me when we were in Kings Landing that I was a southern girl at heart. Sometimes I still wonder if he was right. He hates the North, and the North hates him. I may be their Queen but I can't make them love him. I'm at odds with the Northern Lords and there are moments I wish I told Jon to take the title but I am the Queen and I need to do what is right.
Balancing love and duty is harder than I thought it would be.