The Wolf and The Lion || Jaime Lannister

Seventy Two

Jaime

Tyrion, Jon, Theon and Davos return to the docks and Brienne goes to find Podrick who is likely drunk with Bronn.
Finally Rayna and I are alone.
She fought with at least half the people sitting in this damn pit. Cersei, Euron, Daenerys and her lot and even Jon. I have to say that I expected it but they put her on trial. I don't think I've ever agreed with anyone more than when the Hound went off at Daenerys.
She stares numbly into the distance as her brother leaves and I come up behind her and wrap my arm around her waist, resting my hand on her stomach.
It's still flat, slightly firm but she shouldn't start showing for a good while yet. She's thinner than when I last saw her, when she's stressed she doesn't eat. These past few months haven't been easy on either of us. I've been trying to raise an army and getting the Northerners to obey me is even harder. Without Rayna around they gave me a lot more trouble than usual but slowly they are coming to respect me.
Meanwhile she has been in Dragonstone trying to build an alliance with Daenerys which she has accomplished but it's shaky at best. However the dragonglass is being delivered to Winterfell so at least that parts running smoothly.
She places her hand over mine and holds onto my arm tightly.
"Are you alright?" I ask and she shakes her head. She will put on a strong face in front of everyone but she's always been vulnerable with me.
"Jon loves her more than his own blood", she says sadly "I fought my entire life for him and he wouldn't fight for even a moment for me"
I can feel her heart breaking as she says those words so I hold her tightly as if that could hold those pieces together. Even I'm angry with him for not defending her, he was the one person who could have gotten Daenerys to see sense and he didn't. They seemed to have made up afterwards but his lack of action still hurts her.
"He will realise that you love him more than she ever could, you are family and nothing will ever change that", I say knowing that I've certainly wished that I could change that Cersei was my family and cut her off for good but I can't.
"I've always hated people I care about being mad at me, Daenerys I can handle but I can't handle Jon being angry with me"
"He's not angry, he loves you and he loves Daenerys and you both want very different things and he is trying to choose between family and love. Doesn't that sound familiar?"
She softens a little knowing how hard it can be, she knows it, I know it, Jon knows it.
"I'm sorry that I decided that you were going to stay here instead of coming with me", she says weakly and I gently turn her to face me and I kiss her forehead. Of course she's worried about me being angry rather than all the other shit that just happened. I expected her and Cersei to get into a fight, a few death threats and possibly a bit of blood spilt, not her and Jon arguing. Me not wanting to have to stay in Kings Landing to organise the expedition North should be the least of her worries.
"I'm not going to fight with you, you've had enough for one day", I say and she wraps her arms tightly around me and buries her face in the crook of my neck. I run my fingers through her smooth dark hair and rest my hand against the back of her head, just holding her gently against me.
"I'm so tired of fighting Jaime", she says and she pulls away enough to look at me and I notice the dark circles under her eyes that she's struggled to conceal and the exhaustion in them.
"Once the dead are defeated we can stay in Winterfell, we won't have to leave or fight", I say but she shakes her head.
"Jaime they are already calling this The War of the Three Queens, I'm in this whether I want to be or not".
The War of the Three Queens. It has a nice ring to it but Rayna has already fought. She has fought for the North and the Riverlands and she has won. She doesn't need to fight anymore.
"Sweetheart the North is free, we can stay there and have our baby while Cersei and Daenerys fight and when Daenerys wins chances are she will marry Jon and then they can continue the Targaryen dynasty and we can have our own", I say running my hand over her stomach. Everything I've ever wanted is standing right in front of me, the woman I love and a child that I can call my own.
"Daenerys is infertile", she reveals and I shake my head in confusion.
"She was pregnant by the Dothraki warlord, Robert had a fit over it", I say remembering his words far too well, 'The whore is pregnant'.
"I don't know what happened but she lost the child and she is convinced that she cannot have another", she says with certainty and I don't question her, she knows more about her than I do.
"She can still marry Jon", I say, it's clear he's in love with her and I remember Rayna telling me that he didn't want children anyways, he didn't want to have children named Snow.
"If she doesn't produce an heir what then?", Rayna asks and I know the answer.
War.
"People will rise up against her, try to usurp her and then we will have another war or if she dies first people will go to war over the Iron Throne" I say but I'm still confused as to why she is stressed out by this "The North won't be part of that war, the Iron throne isn't our problem"
Then I see a spark in her eye I haven't seen in a long time and it unnerves me. I saw it when she first spoke of retaking Winterfell, and ever since she retook it I've seen it occasionally and it's usually combined with some reckless act. Like when she was going to declare war on the Frey's. I was unnerved then and I am now. It's the look she gets when power gets to her, a disease Cersei fell to.
"Jaime, we could claim the throne as ours, you have the west, I have the North and the east and I am pregnant with a child, I'm the only Queen that is likely to have an heir"
What she is suggesting is possibly the highest treason possible. Her eyes are wide and innocent as she says it and that scares me even more. I've loved one Queen of the seven kingdoms, over the years I watched her become corrupted and cruel. I see Cersei now and what she has become. I don't want the same to happen to her. I don't want to lose anymore children to that fucking throne. Or anyone else I love. I don't want to lose Rayna.
"Rayna, sweetheart", I say gently as I stroke her rosy cheek "You have the North and our child will rule the North, that's all we need"
"I know", she says running her fingers lightly over my lips as she looks at me innocently with those eyes of hers "But what if?"
I know exactly what will happen if she claims the throne as hers. She may get half the continent on her side but Kings Landing is built to withstand a siege. Our army is definitely not built to withstand dragons.
If it was just Cersei I would support her. I'd lead the damn army into the city myself but I've seen Daenerys' army fight. We can't win against them.
I take her hand in mine and kiss it and hold it in mine as I say "If it was just Cersei I would lead the army myself but Daenerys has dragons and Dothraki and unsullied, even if half of Westeros supported you Dragons could burn it to the ground and us along with it"
The look fades from her eyes and I know she's finally seeing the reality of it. At least I hope she is. It's not just us anymore. We have a child to protect.
"You're right, it's not worth it", she says a little too quickly for me to fully believe her. I know her well enough to know when she isn't being honest. However I doubt she's going to return to Winterfell to begin a rebellion like her brother did.
"Ray I've seen what that throne does to people, please promise me that you uphold your end of the treaty and stay out of the war", I ask knowing that if Rayna breaks any part of the treaty Cersei will use it as an excuse to break her end of the deal.
"I promise", she says pressing her lips against mine.
I don't know if I believe her. Cersei lied to me repeatedly for years and I was too in love and too naive to see it.
I look at her and I see love in her eyes that I never saw in Cersei's. She is not Cersei.
She won't become maddened by power like Cersei has.
I look at her stomach and know that soon she'll be showing, soon I'll be able to feel our baby kicking. I remember when I first felt Joffrey kick, I was terrified and with good reason.
Sometimes I still wonder how I could have made someone as awful as Joffrey. Tommen then became indoctrinated and radicalised by the fucking sparrow. Myrcella was good and she died in my arms.
I can't watch another child die, I can't lose another child.
"What are you thinking about?" She asks and I smile somewhat sadly at her.
"I'm glad I get a second chance at being a father"
She smiles warmly and kisses me again. I hold her closely and just let myself feel her in my arms. I feel my stump against her back and remember that I threw my hand at Cersei.
She pulls away and says "I'll have you another hand made"
"I think you have more important things to think about", I chuckle "Two queens and an army of the dead"
"And my husband and our child", she says and for the first time I notice that she's like her mother in ways I've never really noticed before. Cat loved her family more than anything, she was reckless when it came to them just as Rayna is. I never thought of her as being anything like Ned but now I can see that she is like her mother.
She looks at me curiously and asks "What?"
"I remember asking Tyrion before I met you if he thought you were more like Ned or Catelyn and we both agreed that you weren't like them, I saw how similar you and Robb were but now you remind me of Catelyn"
"How so?" she asks her eyes looking upon me tenderly. She doesn't talk about Ned and Cat often but she loved them. More than I ever loved my Father.
"She cared about her family more than anything else, she was reckless when it came to protecting them just like you, she didn't care about honour as much as she should have as long as her family was safe. She was a real she wolf in the end", I say and she smiles a little.
"Gods imagine what they'd say if they could see us now", she says looking up at the sky.
"They'd be proud of you", I say, Ned would probably be a little shocked by some of the things she's done, Catelyn would be happy that she is married to someone she loves and who loves her and Robb would be prouder than anyone of her. My Father however is likely still looking down at me "I can't say the same for my father"
"Well I'm about to go North and explain to Arya and Bran that I married a Lannister", she says and suddenly I'm very glad that I'll be getting to Winterfell after she does.
"What if he remembers?" I ask. What I did back then wasn't for Cersei it was for Joffrey, Tommen and Myrcella. Rayna knows that, somehow after all these years she's forgiven me for it. It wasn't easy but she has. I still haven't forgiven myself.
"If he remembers then I will make sure that he stays silent", she says and the coldness in her voice surprises me. Often she is warm hearted with wide eyes and a bright smile but she can be cold. I see her with the Lords of Winterfell, with anyone who threatens her family and just now in this meeting. Sometimes I do forget how hardened she has become these past few years. The innocence that was torn away from her. If Bran tells anyone and they decide to get revenge on his behalf Rayna will defend me as fiercely as a wolf defends her pack.
"I crippled him for life, if he says one word to the wrong person then I am a dead man", I say knowing that Rayna can't protect me if the wrong people find out what I did.
"No", she says firmly and I see that fierceness in her eyes "I haven't seen Bran since he was a boy but you are my husband and the father of my child whatever I need to do to protect you I will do it"
She has defended me since the moment she met me. She shouldn't have to defend me for crippling her brother "No, if he does tell people then I will take care of it, it's my mistake not yours. I don't deserve their forgiveness"
She looks at me sadly and pulls me close "Jaime, you aren't as bad of a person as you think you are", she says softly but I can't believe her "You need to start to forgive yourself"
"The things that I've done-", I begin and she shakes her head.
"You have done many bad things it's true. You killed your King, slept with your sister for years and had three children by her, you pushed my brother out a window and crippled him for life, you fought my father in the street, you lied to me and went to war against my family, you bashed your own cousins head in with a rock and killed countless others trying to escape", she recalls and I'm not sure how that's supposed to make me feel better. "There's one thing that stands out to me about all of that"
"The fucking my sister or crippling your brother?" I ask sarcastically and for once she doesn't roll her eyes at me or reply with something even more sarcastic.
"You did all of it for a good reason. You killed the Mad King to save half a million people. As for Cersei you've said it yourself, you can't choose whom you love, you pushed my brother to protect your family, you fought my father because my mother kidnapped your brother, you lied to me to protect me, you went to war against my family for your house and your family, you killed your cousin to escape and to come back to me and protect me"
As much as I don't want to admit it she's right. Despite the hatred in my heart when I did those things I did it for love.
"The things I do for love", I say quietly but she isn't finished talking.
"And Jaime all of that happened so long ago, years have passed since every single one of those things"
"Time doesn't change what I did", I say quietly, averting my gaze "Even if I did those things for love they were still awful things"
"You're right, time doesn't change what happened and the things you did were bad but you are a good man Jaime", she says and I wonder how she believes that. Part of me still believes that I deserve to be stuck in the Red Keep with Cersei, a member of the kingsguard and doing her bidding. The rest of me wonders how the hell Rayna is still here, what I did to possibly deserve her, why she didn't leave me long ago.
"I'm not, part of me will always be the man I was then", I insist, being back here has brought back so many memories.
"That man wasn't a bad man, the man I met had saved half a million people from the Mad King, he had been the only person to love his little brother and you protected him when no one else would", she says trying to make me believe her.
"I've done far more bad than good", I say, every little memory I've suppressed running through my mind but she still shakes her head at me and I remember that arguing with her is a losing battle.
"You did unspeakable things to protect your children and you left Cersei because she was toxic, you tried to protect me as much as you could, you held me when my direwolf was killed, you saved me from being raped and you protected me from Cersei. Then you were captured and you saved your captor from being raped and you lost your hand. Then you saved me at the Red Wedding, if you hadn't held me back I would have most likely been killed. Then you went back to Kings Landing to free my sister and when she was gone you sent Brienne to find her. You fought so hard for us and then you went all the way to Dorne to bring your daughter home. Then when I found you at Riverrun you betrayed the crown for me, you ended the siege and Riverrun is free not because of me but because of you. Then you rode an army north to fight for me and you stayed in Winterfell for me despite everything that came with that choice. You charged at a fucking dragon hoping to end this war and save your men. While I've been away you've been building an army and then you came back here because I asked you to. You defended me here against a woman with dragons who already wants you dead and here we stand now and all I see is the man I love. For every bad thing you have done you have done ten times as much good"
I stare at her in awe as she caresses my face "I have known many men, good men, bad men, loyal men, traitorous men, cruel men", she begins and I know she has. She's known far too many cruel men in her life "One thing I can say with certainty, that I know with my whole heart is that there are no men like you, only you and that man is the man I have chosen to spend my life with, the only man in this world I will ever love"
I try to find the words to reply to her but I can't. All I can do is pull her into my arms tightly and kiss her. I tremble as all of her words sink into me, words that mean far more than I love you ever could. She knows me in a way no one else does, in a way not even Cersei or Tyrion do, and she loves me. She knows every bad thing I have done yet she still believes with her whole heart that I am a good man. No one else matters only us, fuck the world. The world may call me the kingslayer but it doesn't matter as long as she is by my side.  Everyone else is sheep and in my heart there is only the two of us. The wolf and the lion.
She pulls herself closer against me and her tongue moves against mine like two swords, her body is pressed against mine and my heart warms as I remember.
It's not just the two of us, it's us and our child.
We stand there wrapped in each other's arms and I wish I was in bed with her. When I'm inside of her it feels like we are the same person in two bodies. One soul.
She pulls away breathing heavily and I press my forehead against hers.
"Jaime", she breathes and she looks around but it's just the two of us in the Dragon Pit. Even so we'd both rather be somewhere with a locked door "Is there somewhere we can go?"
I grin as I kiss her again, it will be weeks before I see her again, when I do it will be with an army to defend our home. I want to spend as much time alone with her as I can before she leaves with Brienne.
I look up at the Red Keep and back to her.
"Just like old times?" I ask and she looks apprehensive then laughs.
"Fuck it, if I was going to be killed I'd be dead already", she rationalises and intertwines her fingers with mine.

Rayna

Well this certainly is bringing back some memories. It's been years since I've set foot in Kings Landing, let alone the Red Keep.
I can't help but smile to myself as I pass the place where I stabbed Cersei which Jaime is oblivious to. He simply returns my smile and I have to stop myself from laughing.
I'd be terrified that Cersei was going to have me murdered but I highly doubt it after those negotiations. Perhaps my desire for spending a night alone with Jaime is blinding my common sense but if Cersei wanted me dead then I'd be dead already. And I am officially her guest anyways, it's expected that she hosts me for a night at least.
We enter his room and I'm surprised to see that more or less it's the way it was when I was last here.
"I'm surprised Cersei didn't burn everything", I comment as I look around.
"So am I", he replies with a short laugh and he wraps his arm around my waist from behind and kisses the top of my head.
"This room brings back so many memories", I reminisce "When you were my brothers prisoner I'd come here to feel close to you, some nights I'd sleep in here. No one knew, not Sansa or even Tyrion"
I've never told anyone this before. Back then I struggled between my love for Jaime and the hatred I should have had for him. 
"And here we stand, all these years later", he says rubbing my stomach and it brings back another memory. I won't lose this child, I won't let history repeat itself.
I feel his sword dig into my waist slightly and I smile a little "You'll be able to teach our child how to fight"
He kisses my cheek and I know just how much he will love that. I can almost see myself standing on the balcony in Winterfell teaching both a son and a daughter to fight.
It's been a while since I've had the opportunity to train. I laugh as I pull his sword free from his belt much to his surprise and stand as if I'm about to fight, remembering how almost every night I spent with him in here we would practice and train together.
"Now a two handed woman with a sword against a one handed unarmed man isn't a fair fight", he teases and we both crack up laughing as I scrunch my face up at him.
"You'll have to actually let me fight with you again, you seemed rather sure of yourself when you nearly got into a fight with Jorah", I say still surprised at how willing Jaime was to fight him.
Usually he denies when I ask to train with him or he fights playfully instead, never serious like we used to but I understand why. He's still ashamed of himself, still hates himself for not being as good as he used to be but he's spent a few years training now and from seeing him train with Bronn I can tell that he has improved immensely.
"I will", he says with a warm smile that goes straight to my heart and warms it. Seeing him wanting to fight is seeing him find part of himself again.
"But first", I smile taking off his red leather jacket. It's a wonder I didn't strip him down and take him in the dragon pit.
He removes my crown and places it on the table and I go to remove his hand then remember. I will make him a new one, he'll come home with an army and get a new hand. Something practical.
"Your grace", he teases as he easily unlaces the back of my dress. I'd be lying if I said I didn't make this dress with him taking it off me in mind.
It falls to the ground and he's surprised to see no underclothes underneath.
I raise an eyebrow cockily as I see his arousal and get to work at tearing off his clothes.
We fall back on the bed devouring each other and I love him so much my heart aches.
I recall the witch from the Vale who said he was my soulmate at a time when I thought I'd never see him again.
In my heart and my soul I know it's true and so does he.