Forty Four

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Jaime

My men and I are marching south back to Kings Landing. All I've thought about is her. I can still feel the ghost of her on my lips. I wish I never let her go all those years ago. I wish I could have just stayed there with her in my arms forever. No war, no houses, no duty. Just us. It's always been more complicated than that though.
Now she is off to fight a battle, and if she survives, a war.
And where am I going? Riding back to Cersei, back to do whatever she tells me to do until Tommen will make me Lord of Casterly Rock but I doubt the bloody sparrow will let him do that.
"You've had a stick up your ass since the siege", Bronn says as we ride south.
"I love her Bronn", I say knowing I damn well sound like a love sick idiot but I am.
"You do love her, and by the looks of it they will declare her Queen in the North"
"She definitely deserves it", I say. She has fought so hard these past few years. Her parents would be proud of her, especially her brother. I'm proud of her.
"Could you do it, live with her in the North for the rest of your days?"
That I have thought about the most. Could I leave the Rock behind to be with her in the North.
"I hate the fucking North", I mutter. I really do hate the North. When I imagined a future with Rayna I saw myself as Lord of the Rock with her as my wife. Not her as Queen in the North, rebelling against the crown and me by her side in a country where everyone hates Lannister's.
"But you love fucking her", he comments "As your right hand man I'm telling you to go back to her. Cersei and the whole lot of em will be pissed when they find out you ended the siege and let the Tully's go, either way Cersei will be pissed so just go with your gut"
He is telling me exactly what I want to hear. That I should go back to Rayna. He is right about Cersei as well. No matter what I do now I won't get much mercy from her. I could even be charged with treason.
"What about the men?" I ask "I doubt the North will appreciate eight thousand Lannister troops showing up at their doorstep"
She needs the men but I doubt most of my soldiers will fight for the North anyways.
"Send most of them back to Cersei as an apology and keep a few thousand in the North, the ones actually loyal"
"Your right", I say. Fuck it. Fuck Cersei. I'm not letting Rayna go again. I've always been reckless with love, if there is a time to be reckless it's now.
"I know I am, I don't know why everyone's so shocked when I am". Bronn says but at that point I'm not even listening anymore.
I turn around and halt the men.
My entire life I have denied my place as the heir to Casterly Rock. Now it's time to take it. For these men to pledge loyalty to me over the crown I will have to.
"Who among you would declare me Lord of Casterly Rock in this moment, risking the wrath of my sister"
Several thousand of the men cheer and raise their swords.
"Those men come with me, those who favour Cersei and fear the crown return to Kings Landing"
They whisper amongst themselves, many of them questioning my authority, rightfully so after the siege. Not my best moment as a commander but it was the right thing to do. By my honour I know letting them keep the castle was the right thing to do. Now it's time to help Rayna take back hers.
"My Lord, where is it we will be going?", a young squire asks.
"To Winterfell"



Rayna

The battle is tomorrow. The knights of the vale are camped nearby. The numbers are about even but we are still disadvantaged. 2000 wildlings on foot, a few hundred northmen, 400 Tully soldiers and 2000 knights of the vale. Nearly five thousand men. Ramsay said at the parlay he has 6000 men but I suspect he will get more before then now he knows the odds are closer to being balanced.
He still outnumbers us and he holds Winterfell which may be the deciding factor. The battle will be hard enough but if he actually prepares the castle for a siege it will be near impossible to take it. However Ramsay is too confident in himself. After defeating Stannis I can safely say he will feel confident in defeating us and that will be his downfall. I know more than anyone what underestimating am opponent can do.
Tomorrow he will die. I can use his confidence against him. I know his weaknesses. I've sat with Sansa, Jon and other Northern Lords, the Blackfish, Edmure Tully, Lord Royce and Littlefinger for most of the evening finalising the battle plans. None of us are underestimating him, I've seen his men fight and I know what he is capable of.
Now I sit in my tent, waiting for the dawn and playing with the ring on my finger as silent tears fall down my cold cheeks.
Perhaps it's for the best. I can't imagine anyone in the North would be happy if I married a Lannister. But gods just being with him would be worth it all. He is worth it all.
A voice from outside disturbs me and I stand and compose myself.
"Rayna, can I come in?" Jon asks.
"Of course", I say putting on a smile.
He looks somber and broody as he walks in. But then again it's Jon, he's always brooding.
"I've just been talking with the Blackfish and I realised you failed to tell me that they were under siege when you found them"
When I showed up with the Tully's I told Jon I was able to convince my uncles to help. I didn't mention that the Lannister's and the Frey's were laying siege. I definitely didn't mention Jaime.
"They were", I say stiffly "And now they aren't"
He steps closer and rests a hand on my shoulder "Ray why didn't you tell me about Jaime Lannister"
"I hadn't seen him in years", I say quietly. I loved Jaime fiercely but until the siege it had been years since I'd seen him.
"What happened, last time you mentioned him to me you were asking what I thought of him before I left Winterfell?"
"You really didn't hear anything did you?" I ask. Most of the country heard the story of the Wolf and the Lion. Ned Starks daughter running from her wedding to Loras Tyrell to chase the Kingslayer.
"At the wall you don't hear much", he says and we sit down. He mustn't know about Jaime pushing Bran, otherwise he wouldn't be this sympathetic. That part I will definitely leave out "What happened Ray?"
"I fell in love with him Jon and he loved me. He asked Father if he could marry me and father being father refused and then everything went to shit. He became Robbs prisoner and I was stuck in KingsLanding", I say, remembering just how painful the past is "I was pregnant with his baby"
"Ray", he whispers taking my hand in his.
"I lost it when they cut Fathers head off, I told you of how I escaped Kings Landing and how I came to be at the Red Wedding, but I left out the part where Jaime was also a prisoner of the Boltons"
"You left out a lot", he comments but he isn't angry at me for lying. He just wants to be my brother, to care for me.
"Robb reluctantly agreed to our marriage on the condition Jaime brought Sansa and Arya home, mostly because he knew I would have found some way to elope with Jaime either way. At the time it was just Robb and I, Sansa was in Kings Landing and the others were sirloin missing we fought a lot over Jaime but in the end we were happy, things were finally becoming good again then that fucking wedding"
"You don't need to talk about it", Jon says gently as he squeezes my hand
"I only survived because I followed Jaime outside, because he pulled me away from the fighting when I was in shock, Jaime saved my life", I cry "He protected me when no one else could, he went south to Kings Landing and I went to the vale, Jaime arranged with his father my full pardon, that I would be his wife and lady of Casterly Rock"
"Then why did you marry Ramsay?", he asks softly. Knowing to be gentle with me.
"Littlefinger the fucking bastard lied to me", I growl "He hid the letter from Jaime that told me that it was safe for me to go to him, that I was to be his wife, instead he gave me a forged letter that broke my heart and I married Ramsay to take back Winterfell in my grief and here I am"
"I'm sorry Ray", he says genuinely "I don't like
Lannister's or any of those southern men but you love him, I loved a wildling girl and I lost her, it's not too late for you two"
"He let the Tully's go because he loves me but it's impossible Jon, duty is tearing us apart"
"Maester Amon once told me that love is the death of duty"
"And duty is the death of love", I reply tearfully. I would always choose love, I thought Jaime would as well but if he wants his family he needs to choose duty.
"It doesn't have to be", he reminds me "You should get some sleep"
I nod "Thank you Jon, I've really missed you"
He pressing a kiss to the top of my head and gives me shoulder a reassuring squeeze as he leaves.
I play with the ring on my finger and pray to the old gods and the new for fate to be on our side for once.

Tomorrow decides the future of the North however as I fall asleep it's not Ramsay or Littlefinger or Winterfell I dream of.
It's Jaime. First I dream of a wolf sitting on a throne with a lion by its side. Then the dream shifts and he is lying next to me.
"I won't let them hurt you sweetheart", he murmurs as he presses a kiss to my lips.
"How?" I ask him "Your not here"
"Not yet", he says caressing my cheek "I will never leave you again"
He brings my hand to his lips and kisses it tenderly.
"Jaime", I breathe unevenly.
"You are I are the only people in this world, the only ones who matter"
For a moment I believe that it could be true then I wake and feel the coldness surrounding me, his warmth gone as it was never there. All that's left is the ghost of him.
Dawn is rising. It is time.

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