Forty One

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Rayna

My heart pounds as I stand at the gates of Castle Black. After the long journey we finally made it.
I escaped Ramsay.
"Who are you?" A Nights Watchman asks.
"Rayna Stark of Winterfell", I answer "I'm here to see my brother Jon"
They whisper amongst themselves in shock until one bellows "Open the gates"
Brienne and Podrick walk behind me as I enter knowing that I must look like a corpse as I remove my hood to reveal myself. My eyes desperately seek out Jon and they find him, standing on the balcony looking down at me in pure shock.
As I step forward he comes running down and he gathers me up in his arms without a word.
"Jon", I cry as my brother holds me tight. The first of my blood I have seen in months.
"Rayna", he breathes, exhaling white, cold air as he sets me back down. He sees my tears and wipes them away "What's happened?"
"So much has happened", I cry as I hold onto him tightly, as if his arms could protect me from all the evil men in this world.
"You must be cold", he says and I laugh a little knowing I'm covered in layers of snow and very obviously nearly frozen to death.
"Can we go somewhere warm please?" I ask as Brienne and Podrick are escorted to the stables. He nods, wrapping his own cloak around me as we walk inside.
"How long have you been out there?", he asks sitting me in front of the fire.
"I came from Winterfell", I say numbly as it all flashes through my mind and I will myself to feel something besides pain and rage but the cold has consumed me.
"What were you doing in Winterfell?" he asks obliviously.
"Didn't you hear?" I ask but I doubt Roose wanted Jon knowing, no one would send word to the Lord Commander about a wedding "I married Roose Bolton's son"
He steps back, absolutely stunned.
"Rayna, the Bolton's betrayed our family-" he begins but I cut him off rather violently.
"I know he did, I was at that fucking wedding", I scream at him and he steps away from me as he says just how unravelled I've become.
"I didn't know", he stutters hanging his head and I try to compose myself.
"I heard the screams Jon, I saw them parading our brothers body around with his direwolfs head sewn onto it"
Tears come to his eyes and I realise that he's been alone here. Alone with no family to share his grief.
"When I was offered a chance to get revenge I took it, I was told that Ramsay was weak willed and I could manipulate him, that I could take them down from the inside but I was wrong, I wish I never went back"
He sees the haunted look in my eyes and the bruises that are still fading and his voice is deadly as he asks "What did he do to you?"
"I always thought Roose was the enemy, the worst type of man, he is the enemy and he is cruel but not like his son", I begin and my cold heart begins to pump boiling blood through my veins "I realised he was a sadistic man before the wedding but I knew it was too late to leave, on our wedding night he struck me and I returned the favour but little did I know that would be the kindest touch he would give me"
"You don't need to explain-" Jon begins, trying to contain his rage to be a comforting brother but rage is what I need. Someone else to be as furious as I am.
"He raped me and beat me, every single night, and I will not be silent, women aren't meant to talk about these things but-"
"You aren't like most women", he finishes crouching down beside where I sit and taking my hand. Despite the fury in his eyes his voice is gentle "I wish I had known, I would have stopped it, I have killed him myself for laying a hand on you"
"I will kill him", I promise and a small smile reaches my face as sadness washes over me "The last time we saw each other we were both so innocent and now we are both killers"
"We are survivors", he corrects.
"We are Starks" I take his cup of ale out of his hand and take a drink but end up coughing it up and shoving it back into his hand thats's bloody awful"
He laughs "Remember when we would sit outside the hall of Winterfell drinking ourselves away"
"And then we'd be running from my mother", I remember laughing at the memories then I remember who resides there now and my brief moment of bliss fades "I wish we could go back"
"So do I", he says sadly "You and that Lannister were the only ones who told me what the Nights Watch really is"
"You ended up Lord Commander though", I point out "You'll need to tell me how that happened"
"I'm sure we both have many stories to tell", he says with a small comforting smile "But gods I wish we never left Winterfell"
"It is our home Jon, we need to take it back", I tell him knowing that I can't let Ramsay win.
"Well should we just tell the Bolton's to pack up and leave", he comments lightheartedly but I am dead serious as I tell him "We will take it back from them"
"I don't have an army"
"How many wildlings are here?", I saw them when I arrived, perhaps we may have a chance.
"They don't serve me"
"If the Bolton's are in charge of the North they won't be safe and neither will we"
"Rayna-" he begins
"Winterfell is our home, Sansa is with my uncle the Blackfish waiting for somewhere safe to come home to, Arya is riding around with The Hound because no where is safe and gods know where Bran and Rickon are but I can promise you that Theon did not kill them. While we have no home our family will be divided", I tell him "I am not losing any more family, and the first step is to take back Winterfell, we will fight for it"
"I'm tired of fighting", he snaps "All I've done since I left home is fight, I've fought and I've lost"
My voice is calm as I take his hand "Jon, you are my brother and I love you, I am not going to fight with you like children, because we aren't, not anymore", I say clenching my jaw, keeping my voice strong "We need to take back our home, I have risked everything for it, I have been through hell for it, and I will not give up now. I am asking for your help but I will do it myself if I have to"
He is silent for a long while, but eventually he squeezes my hand and looks up at me "I'll do what I can, I promise"

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