The Wolf and The Lion || Jaime Lannister

Thirty Two

Jaime

Weeks have passed and not a single letter from her. Tyrion might be executed and Rayna could be dead. Right now I need her more than ever. I need her with me, I need her telling me that Tyrion will be okay, that he can win this trial and how he will win it. I need her in my arms telling me that it's okay to feel grief over Joffreys death, that while he was truly awful he was still my son. That I will have children by her when we are married that won't be like Joffrey. That everything will be alright.
But she's not here and nothing is alright.
I am tired of waiting.
I sit down to write a letter to her and it's more difficult than I thought it would be.

Rayna

It's been weeks and I haven't heard from you. If you are alive please send a raven. I know it's dangerous to communicate, Cersei knows you survived the Red Wedding. She thinks you are heading North. Everything is chaos here. Joffrey is dead and Tyrion is on trial for killing him. I have a plan to beg my Father for Tyrion's life if I leave the Kingsguard. I hope you can read this, I'm still struggling to write. Just please send a letter, once I know you are alive we can figure everything out.

Love always, Jaime

After struggling with the damned raven for Gods know how long that letter is on its way to the Eyrie and all I can do is pray that she made it there alive.

Rayna

"I sent a letter to Jaime the day I got here and I've heard nothing back", I complain to Littlefinger "What if he didn't get the letter? He'll think that I'm dead"
"What if he chose not to reply?", he asks and I know he's trying to put doubt in my mind.
"He wouldn't, he would send one back the first chance he got", I insist then a thought comes to me "What if Cersei intercepted the letter?"
I made sure there was no important information in it just in case but it would confirm I am alive and survived the Red Wedding, however Roose and Walder Frey must suspect I'm alive since they know I wasn't in that hall. They'll be searching the bodies to find mine and it's only a matter of time before they know I'm alive for certain.
"That is a possibility", he acknowledges "But you must be aware, he lost his child and who better to turn to than the child's mother"
I know damn well what Littlefinger is trying to do, putting doubt and uncertainty in my mind and then giving me a solid reason to believe it.
But what if Jaime has turned to Cersei for comfort, either thinking that I'm dead or that I'll never see him again. The thought has definitely passed my mind many times.
The waiting is maddening but Littlefinger assures me he is working on a plan.
"My Lord, letters from Kings Landing", a boy says entering and as soon as Littlefinger has them in his hands I snatch them out.
I go through them until I find one with a Lannister seal.
There is only one person this could be from.
Jaime.

Rayna

It's been weeks and I haven't heard from you. If you are alive please send a raven. I know it's dangerous to communicate, Cersei knows you survived the Red Wedding. She thinks you are heading North. Everything is chaos here. Joffrey is dead and Tyrion is on trial for killing him. I have a plan to beg my Father for Tyrion's life if I leave the Kingsguard. I hope you can read this, I'm still struggling to write. Just please send a letter, once I know you are alive we can figure everything out.

Love always, Jaime

I stand there and read it repeatedly until it's sunk in I put it in my pocket to hide it away in my room later.
"He didn't get my letter, I need to send another"
"Then Cersei must have intercepted it", he says and I agree that's what most likely happened. However, I've learned to question everything he says and find my own explanations. I don't take anything he says as the complete truth.
"Next letter you write give it to me and I'll make sure it reaches him directly"
I turn my head away knowing in my gut not to trust him. I can't find a specific reason but I know by now to trust my instincts.
"You can trust me Rayna, I know you find it difficult to but have I ever betrayed you!", he asks taking my face in his hands.
I think through every conversation, every thing he has done and I find my answer.
"No", I have to admit as I refuse the urge to pull his hands from my face and push him away. We became well acquainted in Kings Landing, he was the man I sought out to help bring peace between the Starks and the Lannister's. He loved my mother but on occasion when I was alone with him I felt as if I was being propositioned. The slight brush of a hand and a lingering stare, it was so subtle but I caught it.
"Has Ser Jaime ever betrayed you?", he has the audacity to ask "We both know the answer is yes"
"He lied because he loves me", I say defending him, something I'm far too familiar with.
"I love you but I've never lied to you", he admits and I gasp slightly as I have to take a deep breath to process it. He's never said it so outright before.
"Lord Baelish", I stutter caught off guard.
"Call me Petyr", he says as he kisses me. His lips are cold and his kiss reminds me of a relative you don't like kissing your cheek except it's upon my lips. Cold and rigid. A kiss I can't bring myself to return.
When he pulls away I gather my words, knowing I need him, I need him wrapped around my finger "Petyr, you have been a friend these past few years but you know I love Jaime"
"For now", he says stroking my cheek "But most love fades. He's loved Cersei all his life, that type doesn't fade, I loved your mother my entire life, that never faded"
It is very clear that his love for me is some sick projection of his love for my mother. It's a love I need to use no matter how much I hate it but I will not betray Jaime.
"Petyr will you send my letter on?" I ask neutrally as I feel my hand begin to tremble slightly.
"Of course".
He waits patiently by the door as I pull out the parchment and ink.