Song of the Winter Solstice (Gauntlet Series 1)

Chapter 25 -Between Fire and Wind

At an early age, I have learned to tend for myself. Maaga akong namulat sa hirap ng buhay. Hinubog ako ng mga pagsubok para maging matapang at matatag. I always rely on myself and the love of my siblings to face every day.

Sometimes I get curious how does it feel to become vulnerable. Just once. I wanted to vulnerable just to let go of this scald-like facade I have.

Nakakapagod ding maging matapan minsan.

People call me tough and rigorous. I built an image with a strong personality because I had to. Cali and Poras were too young and vulnerable and I have to be their living shield, their protector. I got used to defending myself and my siblings. A mold of strong personality took over me years ago.

Kaya nang humarang si Kenru sa harapan ni Killan, it felt different. I could defend myself. Pero iba pala ang pakiramdam nang may nagtatanggol sa akin. It feels like I am being taken care of. That someone truly cares, and someone is ready to get hurt just to protect me.

Hinawi ako ni Kenru patungo sa likuran nito. Kita ko sa mukha ni Killan ang pagkalito nang gawin ito ng lalaki. He should be angry by now after I tried to kill him and Lanuza. I cannot see the anger in his face but pain and loads of curiosity. It makes me wonder.

Humakbang palapit si Killan hanggang sa magsimula nang umilaw ang territorial zone ng ikalawang pax tower. Tumigil ito ilang talampakan bago ang zone. "Idrish, c-can we talk?"

Hindi ako sumagot. Nanatili ako sa likuran ni Kenru. Nais kong kausapin ang lalaki. Gusto kong malaman ang dahilan ng pagsali nito sa kabilang kampo. Pero paano kung isa itong panlilinlang? This is the arena in the first place. Paano ko kakausapin ang isang kalabang nagtangka na sa buhay ko noong una naming pagkikita?

He is my husband. Yes, he is. Pero sapat ba ang isang palabas na kasalan para magtiwala ako ng lubusan? There is only one answer I need to have before we can talk-Cali and Poras.

"Idrish, hindi ako makikiaalam sa buhay niyo bilang mag-asawa, but once this attempt to a conversation affects our winning in this winter arena, I will in any way meddle with you both," Kenru says firmly. His hands are clutched to a hard grip. He looks at me on his shoulder and his eyes check on me like a magnifying glass-scrutinizing every move I make.

"Kenru, I understand you want to win this arena. We will. I will not jeopardize our chance." Humakbang ako ng ilang talampakan paharap. Ramdam ko ang pagtutol ng lalaki sa likuran ko.

The territorial shield illuminates the surroundings as Killan moves an inch closer to it.

I swallow the lump on my throat as I begin to speak, "C-Cali and Poras? How are they?" Nagsimulang mangilid ang likido sa aking mga mata. I could cry a river by just saying their names. Pakiramdam ko kasi'y sa tuwing maaalala ko ang mga kapatid ko na nasa kabilang dimension ay sumasampal sa akin ang katotohanang binigo ko sila. Binigo ko sila bilang nakatatandang kapatid.

His expression softens. Bumuntong-hininga ito saka sumagot. "T-They're safe. They're under my protection, Idrish."

I trust his words. I should. It's the only thing I can do right now to make me calm and ease the agony and restlessness.

Tinitigan ko ang mukha nito. He looks the same-raven eyes, pointed nose, pointy royal ears, crimson lips and a handsome built. Pansin ko ang pagdurugo ng leeg nito dulot ng panang dumaplis kanina. "Anong ginagawa mo dito?"

Napayuko ito. He stares at the ground for a few seconds. Maybe he is trying to hide the true reason that lingers in his eyes. I want to see it but he's good at hiding it. He's been like that since the first time we met-a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma. "Hindi mo maiintindihan kung bakit ako nandito. But I will explain to you and I hope you unders-"