Trepidation

Chapter 39: The End and The Beginning

It was cold, it was too cold. My eyes fluttered open and I winced at the light that flooded my vision. 

Where was I?

I sat up, squinting through my distorted sight. I waited for a moment, hoping for my vision to return. It gradually did and I cautiously taking in my unfamiliar surroundings. The sun was beating down on me and the ground was decorated with a thick sheet of obsidian coloured ice. 

I spotted an outline of a cliff in the distance and I stood up on shaky legs in hopes of reaching it. 

To my suprise, the ice wasn't very slippery. The air was rich with the scent of charcoal and I scrunched up my nose in distaste. 

My shoes did little to stop the cold from seeping into my feet and I could feel them already beginning to numb, despite the fire I knew I had burning in my veins. 

The short walk had felt like a decade and a sigh of relief escapes my lips when I finally reached the solid plummet of the chasm. 

I hesitantly peered over the edge, surprised to see blue flames burning brightly within the gap in the ground. I could feel the heat from all the way up here, yet the ice refused to melt. 

I took a seat revealing in the silence. 

"Pretty isn't it." 

I looked beside me to see Wonwoo, his lips curved into a gentle smile. He looked more youthful without the madness dancing behind his eyes. 

I nodded slightly staring into the vast horizon. The sun was setting the pink glow comforting in a way. 

I wasn't sure why I was here, but I felt deep down inside that I needed this, or well some part of me needed to be put at ease. 

"Do you hate me because I killed them," he muttered, not meeting my gaze. "They put you up for adoption cause they only wanted one child, no noble cause so I killed them."

"I'm sorry for hurting you I just got so angry and I couldn't control it." 

I sighed, soaking in the information. "I don't hate you, but I can't forgive you." 

He turned to grab onto my wrist. "But they took you away from me you had to understand-"

I cut him off. "But not for that reason alone." 

I shot him a smile, though I'm sure my eyes gave away the depth of my sadness. 

"It's easier to live without people you never knew. Besides I have parents." 

I thought of my mom and dad probably sitting at home worried sick. 

"You tried to kill millions of people for your goal. Millions of people that don't deserve to die. I don't think I could possibly live knowing I could do something to stop that and I didn't. I don't care if you hurt me but not the people I care about." 

He paused leaning back. "But who really is to decide who deserves and doesn't deserve to die."

"No one, we were both being hypocrites. Whoever lives or dies is not our judgment, but life should be allowed to come and go naturally. I think thats the way it was supposed to be."

I watched as he angrily knawed on his bottom lip as if his happiness would come when the flesh broke open, spilling crimson liquid until it ran dry. 

"You know I went through so much trouble just to find that a fragment of the god of destructions body from thousands of years ago and I was so close to achieving my life's dream.

"We could've been together like how we were supposed to be, back where we were suppose to be." 

I shot him a sad smile, it didn't excuse his actions but I could see his motivation behind it was simply to be with his sister that he never got to grow up with. 

The small boy behind the messed up male in front of me. Though I suppose we were all messed up in the end. 

"Y'know when I was younger and was first learning how to use my abilities, I slipped down the sidewalk and into a trash can," he said, shooting me a half-smile. 

"I think I was 8 then."

"Well, when I first discovered my powers I lit Mark's shoe on fire," I joked. 

"Yeah, it sounds like that fool to get freak over his shoes like that. I was never fond of the guy but he was a hard worker. Truly liked that friend Jisoo of yours though. I've never seen him so happy before when I gave him permission to date her." 

I was surprised that Mark had actually felt that way. I guess I had judged his feelings too soon. 

I sighed I wonder how Bangtan was doing.

Wait. I scrambled to my feet, remembering quite vividly what had happened before my appearance here. 

"I have to get back."

"Only you can do that," Wonwoo explained, his eyes downcast as if he knew what was to come. 

I paused I wanted to see them again. 

I wanted to see Namjoon and his short-tempered self. The boy who always managed to look out for others before himself. Tripping over his own shoelaces simply because he was clumsy, though I found that an endearing trait of his. I think we had come to an understanding and I know longer resented him but called him my friend.  

Jin who's positive and nurturing attitude never failed to put a smile on my face and his cringy dad jokes that occasionally left me wheezing. His cooking left my taste buds dancing from the delicious food he always seemed to make. But my favourite thing about him had to be his heartfelt nature and rambunctious laugh that always gave me a sense of calm delight. 

Yoongi, the stoic yet teasing boy who first introduced me to this world much different to the one I was used too. I definitely had the wrong impression of him at first a shady try hard who took pleasure in others torment but he never continuously proved me wrong once I discovered the soft, witty boy under the mask. 

Hoseok who's bubbly behaviour always seemed to brighten the mood, He made my classes more interesting and saved me from the boredom of school, sending me small flowers he had sprouted from the soil in his palms whenever he could. He also always seemed to know what to say and I was certain that he saw me as family just as much as I saw him as mine. 

Taehyung, a quiet little thing with a big heart. He shared my passion for reading and his shy demeanour made him all that more likeable. I remember dying in laughter when he had made that pipe explode on the crabby librarian. His sweet actions towards those around him and his contagious box smile always left me with a sense of joy planted deep in my chest.  I wanted to help him climb out of his shell so the rest of the world could see how amazing he was. 

Jungkook, silly Jungkook. The boy liked to lie sometimes for no reason especially about his cat/dog/rabbit and liked to pull pranks a little too much. But he was also considerate and would never let anything happen to the people he cares about. I loved joking around with the coconut boy too, it was just so endearing to tease him. His squishy personality never failed to leave me happy and I was grateful to have him in my life. 

Jimin, well Jimin was a pervy piece of shit who sometimes doesn't know when to lay off. But on the other hand, he was sweet, caring and made my heartbeat at a surreal pace when I was around him. I had thought ill of him at first and thought his personality was as deep as a kiddie pool, but that view slowly changed and I was so happy it did. Whatever I felt with Jimin I knew I wanted to hold on to. I knew that it would set my heart aflame just to simply hug, talk and get lost under the twinkling blanket we called the sky. 

I felt the surge of power racing through my veins and I knew what I had to do to be where I wanted, with the people I desperately wanted to reunite with.

I released everything I felt, white noise filling my ears as my feelings engulphed the world in cerulean flames. 

The ice began to melt the sky becoming shrouded by black. I fell to my knees forced down by the weight of my emotions. 

I turned to  Wonwoo watching as he cast me a sad smile. I wasn't able to hear past the raging noise in my head but I was able to make out three words before he disappeared into the flames birthed from my body. 

I love you. 

1 more chapter and then the epilogue >_<