Unspoken || Sirius Black

40.

This is awkward." James said mostly to himself. "Yeah, you know what. This is really awkward, I'm going to leave now." He said and quickly stepped out of the room, shutting the door behind him. If it was awkward with James in the room, it was nothing compared to how it was now.

I bit my lip and then turned to him. Sirius and I looked at each other, unsure of what to say. The once comfortable silence was gone, now replaced with an awkward tension in the air. He looked like he wanted to say something, but didn't. So I had to take the initiative and ask.

"So- you - fancy me?" I asked unsurely. I didn't know why I felt so satisfied, maybe it was the fact that he liked me and not the other way around, maybe it was because this was Sirius Black, the one everyone pined for. He didn't fancy all the other girls who lusted after him, who would literally jump at him, he liked me - which was strange to admit but also incredibly satisfying at the same time.

Sirius tilted his head and gave me a look that was stating the obvious. He then said, "As someone who is very observant, you're blind when it comes to love aren't you?"

"L-love?" I choked. "What love - I thought you liked me, not loved me." My heart was accelerating, and I could feel goosebumps appear on my arms. I wasn't sure how I managed to utter that sentence without wanting to run far away from here. Some people got butterflies in their stomach, but it felt more like a parade happening in my stomach.

Sirius stood up, "Of course I love you, I've always loved you." he said as if it was obvious. "You've always known that." I wasn't sure if he was referring to the years of friendship we had shared or if he was talking about actual love. I wasn't going to ask.

I felt my face burn, "Oh, oh. Wow. I need to take a seat. No, never mind. I'm going to stand." I said, running a hand through my hair, "You - I, okay. When did you, um, wow. This is weird."

Sirius suddenly laughed out loud, "I thought it was obvious. I mean, everyone knows. Everyone except you, of course."

My head snapped up, "Everyone what?! What do you mean everyone knows? Why would they know? How would they know? Who told them? Was it Wormtail?" I said, narrowing my eyes.

"Sometimes people can see more than you can," Sirius smiled, "You know, it's kind of a relief. Now that you know, it doesn't feel like it's such a burden to carry anymore. Do you know how hard it is to be around you? I had to literally stop myself from kissing you." He said, laughing.

My jaw almost fell off my mouth and hit the floor, "Do I - what? It's hard to be around me? Have you seen you? You're flawless, with your eyes and your face- " It then hit me with a full force, "Oh my - Sirius, you really like me, don't you? Merlin just slice up my body right now and use it as bait. I just, wow. I don't understand. Why?"

Sirius smiled with his teeth, at my analogy. "Come on, Jo. There are plenty of reasons why. But let me tell you the number one reason." he said and then I noticed how close he was standing to me. "You're the only one who sees me as a person, not a prize."

"You're not a prize, you're a person." I said, gulping and avoiding his gaze. It was awkward enough that moments ago he was confessing his love to me but now he was standing so close, I didn't want him to see my red face.

"Are you blushing?" He asked and I could practically feel him laughing.

"No, it's allergies." I said, coughing to prove my authenticity.