The Wait ✔

The Art Of Letting Go

Momina Abdul Majeed

The week went by so fast, that today we were supposed to go back home from our mini vacation. After spending yet another day at the beach, we came back all exhausted and went straight for our beds. I felt the scars on my feet burn due to the rocky beach we've been to, that gave us a farewell gift. I was too tired to open my eyes, but I felt like someone was watching me. Nonetheless, I cracked them open slightly, to see Humdaan crouched by my side.

"Humdaan...?" I got up to see if there is anyone besides us in the room. Humera and I were supposed to sleep in the room, but thankfully she was not there.

"Shhh...It's okay. Calm down." He said reassuringly.

"What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you."

"Haven't you been seeing me this past week?" I wrinkle my nose.

"Yeah.. but I wanted to see you ....like this..." As the words left his mouth with a rad bit of hesitation, I knew what was coming. I had promised myself I won't let it hit me but with Humdaan being here, it just made it inevitable.

"You mean to say you wanted to see me sleep?" I cocked my brow, trying the release the tension, already forming around us. He smacked my arm signaling me to shut up and giving me the I-know-all-your-games look.

"I wanted to talk to you." His tone was turning into a serious one every second.

"I am all ears." I laid back in the position I was sleeping in and let it all flow.

" You know what I am here for, right? Then stop pretending that everything is going to be fine, Momina."

"I am not pretending Humdaan. Of Course, I know what's about to happen, I just didn't want it to get in the way. I know it's coming for us but .... not now." He signed knowing what I said is true and took my hand in his, kissing it.

"You know, I am done with high school here. I have to get into uni now. " I nodded my head in agreement and tried to choose my words wisely.

"I know. And don't you dare do anything stupid that could harm your career." He clearly knew what I meant and what I was trying to say.

"You want me to go out....don't you? You don't want me to be here in the country?"

"There is no good college here, Humdaan. What are you going to do here anyway?"

"I wanted to stay close to you, not see you once in a year or 6 months, but to see you every day of my life, Momina. Everything else can go to hell, but not you and definitely not us."

"Humdaan, try and understand the depth of the situation. Staying here just for me will do you no good. Don't be so harsh on yourself. What's going to happen if you leave the country? What is that you are afraid of..." Even though I knew the answer to the question I didn't hesitate to ask it myself.

"You! I am afraid of losing you to someone else. I can't let that happen and I won't. No one can take you away from me." Ever since he confessed his feeling for me, this has been his only fear. He always said that he is scared of losing me, that his love is not enough for us to stay together.

"Humdaan, stop being so silly. Nothing is to happen to us, I promise you." I caressed his cheek. I realized I was crying when he wiped my tears with his thumb. One of us had to stay strong and clearly it had to be me.

"Promise me you will wait for me no matter what. Promise you won't let anything happen to us." He said after a long pause and I couldn't do anything but nod my head in response.

"And you promise me that you are going to be really sincere towards your college." He nodded his head while I wiped the unshed tears in his eyes. I have never seen him cry before and seeing him like broke my heart but I was ready to do anything for him.

"And promise that you won't think about me even for a split second." I wanted to lighten his mood. His brows furrowed in confusion and then he shook his head saying a no way.

"Hey.. you're cheating. You have to say yes to the promise." I smiled sheepishly.

"Even you know it's not going to be that way."

We sat there holding each other for a while, not wanting anything to ruin the moment. These few bits of memories were what we were going to hold on to for our lives. It was only Allah that knew what was to happen to us, but at that moment nothing mattered. I gave his hand a tight squeeze, reassuring that everything is going to be alright. He just sat there, not saying a word, but his eyes gave away all the fear, confusion, love, and faith in Allah that both of us felt. He got up giving me a kiss on my forehead and tucked the strand of my hair, not looking away for a second.

"Go!" Was the only thing managed to escape my lips.

"I love you."

"I love you."

XOXO

M.