As it turns out, the man Andy fell in love with is more of a mystery than she first thought. When they give their relationship another chance, it's not long before Lex's secrets begin to unravel, threatening their happily ever after.
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I was disheartened. There wasn't really another word to describe the way I felt in the following days. Knowing I would be out of this situation in two weeks should have been a relief, since this was all I had been wanting. Instead, it was sitting heavily on my conscience, because I'd lose a great job, amazing friends, and Lex.
After those two weeks, I'd never see him again. That knowledge was making me somber, even though I'd craved it. My emotions were all over the place. I wasn't equipped to handle the things Lex made me feel.
It had felt extremely official to hand my resignation to HR. When Karen had asked me if there was any particular reason for it, I pretended I'd had another job offer, explaining I was sorry to leave, but I couldn't miss this opportunity. She hadn't asked for anything more, and I was grateful for it. If there was one person who couldn't hear about my affair with my boss, it was the head of human resources.
To my great distress, I was lacking the strength to tell everyone I was leaving. I was feeling helpless, and I knew so many people would try to make me stay, to get to the bottom of my excuses to leave, and I wasn't sure I had the courage to hold my ground. But I couldn't stay, not now that I had told Lex I was leaving.
I would tell them. Monday. I didn't really have a choice, so I would find a way to announce my departure. I already knew there would be tears flowing, at least on my part, and I wasn't looking forward to that. I almost wanted to not tell anyone, to just suddenly leave, to disappear. It sounded so much easier than having to go through the painful goodbyes. But I didn't want anyone to think they didn't matter to me. Leaving like a thief without a warning would hurt them a lot, and I wasn't enough of a coward to go down this road.
The sudden deadline for my departure was making it more urgent for me to find a job. If I didn't have something to follow up right after I'd left Kelex, it was fine, but I still wanted to make sure I could find a job soon. Some needed a sense of security, I guessed. Also, having an actual job would give some weight to my excuse to leave Kelex. If I could have something soon after, it would give legitimacy to it, and fewer people would find it suspicious.
Alas, Seattle wasn't that big of a high-tech hub, and finding a hiring company I could look forward to working for was harder than I'd thought. I could go back to designing websites and smaller dev works, but it felt like such a setback, I couldn't quite accept it.
By the time the weekend came, after a few unfruitful evenings of job hunting, I had to accept it was either that or reinventing myself to become a waitress or something. I wanted to work for a company that mattered. I wanted to help people out, to help make this world a better place.
My Friday evening was spent looking at the selected few jobs I had gathered, knowing fully well I had no insurance any of them would hire me. The brief stay at Kelex would look bad from an outsider's perspective. My justification for my short experience there – me having an affair with my boss and things ending badly – would look even worse, so I had to explain it in a less compromising manner.
