As it turns out, the man Andy fell in love with is more of a mystery than she first thought. When they give their relationship another chance, it's not long before Lex's secrets begin to unravel, threatening their happily ever after.
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The screen of my phone lit up next to me on the bed, and once more, I stared at it, not making a move to answer the incoming call.
It was strange to think of how phones had rung for over a century, and now we tried to keep them as silent as possible, as if a phone making a sound would be a tragedy. If it weren't for the screen lighting up, the silent device in my utterly silent room wouldn't have shown any sign of Kate's call.
I watched it until her picture disappeared from it, and then the screen became dark again. It was the fourth time she was calling, and I'd seen seven of her texts come in. I hadn't checked any of them.
Lex had called eight times and sent fourteen texts. Sometimes, when the guilt was too strong, I had answered, and we'd exchanged a few words before hanging up. It was always the same. He'd ask if I was okay, I'd lie and say yes, and then he'd insist on me calling him if I needed to. After we'd cut the call, he would stop trying for a moment, before resuming his attempts to contact me about an hour later.
I had left like a thief in the middle of the night, submerged by a wave of panic, an unstoppable surge of anxiety blinding me. I'd slipped my dress on in the bathroom and then had grabbed my things on my way out of his room. As soon as I'd left his apartment, I'd sent him a text, telling him I needed to be alone, that I was sorry.
My sorrows needed to be processed in loneliness. They demanded isolation so I could reflect on everything on my own, far from this man who prevented me from thinking rationally.
Somehow, I'd forgotten the truth along the way. I'd always known Lex was out of my reach, that he was a walking deity, unreachable to someone like me. But when it had started, it was just a sex thing. We were just having fun, and I wasn't risking much. But with the weeks, the months, it had grown into so much more, and I had forgotten Lex wasn't an attainable goal for me. Our couple wasn't a realistic one. We couldn't work out.
He was from another world, another level, and I was just me. But out of some miracle, he wanted me, just me.
But for how long would just me be enough? Evora had never even been enough, and she was ten times the woman I'd ever be. She was beautiful, adventurous, generous, confident... He'd seen her for four years, and she hadn't been enough. It was an abnormality that Lex hadn't grown tired of me already.
I'd spent my day in my room, only going out when I couldn't hold my bladder anymore. I'd crossed Tamika earlier this afternoon, on my way back from the bathroom, and I'd dismissed her worries, arguing I was fine, only feeling a little blue. About five minutes later, Kate's first call had come in.
Since I knew she wouldn't leave me alone otherwise, I'd sent her a text telling her the same thing as Tammy. It didn't seem like enough for her, though, as she'd tried to call me ever since.
I didn't want her to put an end to the realization I was having. Of course, she'd say the sweet, usual words, that Lex would never leave me, that he loved me for who I was, that I would always be enough for him... Those sweet lies we tell ourselves and others because we refuse to see the blunt, painful truth. Couples barely ever made it to the finish line together, and that included a vast majority of them being perfectly assorted. Lex and I were different on so many levels, I couldn't see how we could make it all the way to the end.
