【60】All Goes to Shit

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We never should have come here

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We never should have come here. I should have listened to Lex and let him refuse his mother's invitation. Seeing the good in people was something I always tried to do, but there was nothing good about Miriam Coleman, and my stupid attempt at gaining her approval had turned into full-on drama.

Lex, my Lex, was hurt and angry because I hadn't trusted him and had insisted on coming here.

He straightened up, his eyes still glaring at the godless woman. A mask of indifference was plastered on his face, but I knew the turmoil going on within him.

"What Richard did weren't mistakes. What he did was despicable," Lex continued, setting the record straight after twenty years of holding it back. "It took me a decade to start healing. So spare me your bullshit, Miriam. None of this was right, and it didn't matter if you knew I was autistic or not."

With that, he made his way out of the room as Evora stood to go after him. I stayed unmoving in my chair for a moment, my mind bouncing in every direction.

Lex was on the spectrum.

Of course he was.

He showed all the signs of what used to be Asperger's syndrome, but I'd never put two and two together. His focused interest on certain matters and absolute disinterest in others. His inability to understand non-verbal cues. His OCD and repetitive daily routine.

A few weeks ago, Darius, our resident specialized educator, had given everyone at the office a quick lesson on how High Functioning Autism worked, since Kelex was preparing to create an app for people with the condition. Now that I thought about it, Lex had been the one setting it up.

I tried to remember what Darius had said, finally seeing the connection. Sometimes I'd make a joke and it would fly over Lex's head, or he would take something too literally. Or the way he was blunt and direct. How he didn't lie. How he hated small talk. How he didn't like being in crowds or surrounded by too much stimulation...

From what I remembered, children with Asperger's were often subjected to the cruelty of other kids, too different to be considered normal. Lex hadn't even had a loving home to compensate for that.

Suddenly, his friendship with Evora and Kevin made so much more sense. Those two people were the only ones who'd accepted him as one of theirs. He valued them so much because of that; because they'd made him feel normal when everyone else was rejecting him, even his own parents.

Everything had been right there under my nose, but I'd never connected the dots. I'd never seen any of those as symptoms but only as traits, as who he was.

"I take it you weren't aware that my son is autistic," Mrs. Coleman pointed out, sipping on her glass. After a short break, looking at her wine and making it twirl, her eyes met mine again, disdainful. "Are you sure you two are really meant to be, given how little you seem to know about him?"

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