Chapter 24

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Chapter 24: "So which was it? Was it that you loved me enough to let me go? Or.. you didn't love me enough to hold on."



Put away the pictures

Put away the memories

I put over and over

Through my tears

I've held them 'til I'm blind

They kept my hope alive

As If somehow that I'd keep you here

Once you believed in  a love forever more

How do you leave it in a drawer

If you want to move on, you have to get rid of the memories; pictures or anything that could make you remember him. Pero paano? How can I delete our photos when it's the only thing that keeps me from falling apart completely.

Tears filled my eyes as I recalled our memories. Sumubsob ako sa mesa at pasimpleng pinahiran ang mga luha ko. Bakit ganito ang pakiramdam? I feel so empty that it hurts. Hindi ako nakatulog sa kakaisip sa kanya. I stayed up all night thinking how the love I had dreamt of for so long just faded that easily. Sa isang iglap wala na. 

Napaayos ako ng upo ng biglang inalis ni Aya ang earphone sa tainga ko. "You seriously need to stop torturing yourself! Stop listening to this kind of songs!"

Binawi ko sa kanya iyon. "Kailangan ko ito. Pakiramdam ko mababaliw na ako sa sakit eh." My voice shook.

Napapalatak sila ng tumulo na naman ang mga luha ko. Mabilis na tumayo si Cherry at umupo sa tabi ko. She wrapped her arms around me. Tinapik-tapik niya ang likod ko.

"Sige lang. Whatever helps you," she uttered.

I cried on her shoulder. What they say is true; when you're happy, you enjoy the music but when you're broken-hearted you understand the lyrics. Every word from the songs I listen to, hurts me. 

Try to say it's over

Say the word good bye

But each time it catches in my throat

You're still here in me

And I can't set you free

So I hold on to what I wanted most

Maybe someday we'll be friends forever more

Wish I could open up that door

I'm so thankful for having Aya and Cherry with me while I'm going through this painful phase of my life. Inakay na nila ako papunta sa next class namin.

"Tamara, heads up. Si Shin," sambit ni Aya.

Napaangat ako ng tingin. A lump formed in my throat as my eyes started to sing again. Naiiyak na naman ako ng makita ko siya. Pakiramdam ko ang tagal ko siyang hindi nakita. Hindi ko maalis ang tingin ko sa kanya pero napaawang ang labi ko ng daanan lang niya ako. It was like he didn't see me. 

Now here it comes, the hardest part of all

Unchain my heart that's holding on

How do I start to live my life alone

Guess, I'm just learning

Learning the art of letting go

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