𝘉𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘏𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘴

• 19 I •

Thank you so much for your patience and support. I am feeling better now, though there still some weakness, but it's fine. The next update is here.

Happy reading :)

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The night that followed after their conversation was silent but not in a negative way. It was easing in its own but not for Sameer though. He hadn't thought much before telling Naina about his mother but now he was feeling that maybe he had shared a little too much. No one likes to mention about their past and that too when it is something which triggers negative emotions in you. Just like that, those harsh memories had flooded his mind again making him disturbed.

"Mom, please aise mat jaaiye."

"Please mujhe chhodke mat jaaiye."

"Mujhe aapki zarurat hai."

"Aap apne bete ko chhodke kaise jaa sakti hain!"

"Mom...please...mom...mom!!!"

His eyes jerked open and he found himself standing in the middle of his room. Walking to the front of the mirror, he stared at his reflection. His eyes were bloodshot, flickering due to the moisture brimming at their edges. He loathed this site. He clenched and unclenched his fingers repeatedly, taking deep breaths to calm himself down before the beast in could wake up. When it too didn't work, he went for another option to calm his nerves down. Placing the brown cylindrical tube between his lips, he lit it up and took a drag before it could ignite properly. Stepping into the balcony, he stood holding the icy cold railing.

Just a few hours back only, he had very easily pacified Naina by telling her to be strong and courageous to let go of the things which bother you, but, what about him? Would he be able to do it? Whatever happened back in the room was the answer.

"It's easy to console others when you are bleeding inside."

He didn't have any idea why he had mentioned it in front of Naina at that time. When people share the most treasured fragments of their life with someone, they take a risk. Risk of how the other person would perceive it after knowing about it. Would they be judgemental or rational? How would they treat you after that? Indifferently or wholeheartedly? He didn't know whether Naina had thought about it or not, but he knew one thing, all these questions never really came to his mind. He had just said it.

Imagine roaming amidst a crowd of people. Each of them having a partner, some with their best friends, some talking about their favorite movie, some with their gossip partner, some with the love of their life, some with their family, chattering happily, not caring about anything. And then, there are you, sad and alone, in search of someone with whom you could share anything, just anything which could create a spark between you two. A beginning to something.

All of a sudden, you collide with someone as lonely and hollow as you. At that moment, relief splashes over you to have found someone who could understand in a flash whatever is going to your mind. The pain. The suffering. The emotional state. An emotional connection sparks between the two which amplifies the urgency to relieve each other's suffering and aid each other's development. It becomes impossible to treat them badly or hurt them intentionally.

Perhaps, he had felt the same when Naina had told him about herself. Though it was just a chunk from the whole pile, the intensity of the pain was equal. He had sensed this urgent need to say anything which could alleviate her.

Pondering over it, he realised, there wasn't any regret inside him, but a flicker of hope or a budding expectation that she would too be by his side whenever he would need someone. 'Ugh, this is getting worse.' Guess the cigarette too wasn't helping to burn his vulnerability into ashes. Out of annoyance, he threw the cigarette butt aside and went back to his room, not before shutting the door behind him with a bang.