Cardigan

i knew you

Draco

-------

His heart broke looking at the girl in front of him, his best friend. 

She had her feet peeping out from under a Slytherin blanket. He noticed she had mismatched socks on. How cute. He wanted to know why she didn't match her socks this morning. He wanted to see what was going through her brain.

"W-what do you mean?" his voice shook as he tried to buy time to figure out what to respond to her question. How much did she know?

"You know what I mean. I just want to know how long you knew about our families connections to Voldemort," she pleaded for him to respond. His Death Eater tattoo started to burn when she said his name,

Draco's arm moved to the back of his neck and started to rub it, nervously. He took a swig out of the fire whiskey bottle. It was empty. Fuck.

She started again-

"I'm not mad anymore. I actually was mad for a long time after I found out my family's history" she looked back down to the fire and continued, "The first month of summer, I was in bed the whole time. I cried. I cried more than I have ever in my whole life.I felt so... so, stupid. And trust me, I know I am very smart. I was depressed. I had never felt that low in my whole life."

He wanted her to look at him but she was still staring at the fire.

"I wanted to come home. But.. I felt like everyone I knew didn't want me there. And then I did come home. To my house. And I asked about all of it. I, of course, got in trouble. He hit me again." Her arm grabbed her other arm as she talked about her abusive father, "And then the next thing I know, I'm at your house, running into you before we got our robes fitted."

"Emersyn, that's not true. I can explain everything. I never meant to hurt-"

"Please. Just let me finish. I knew you must have had a good reason why you didn't talk to me about everything. Maybe you were going though your own shit. I thought, 'Draco doesn't need to tell me everything that is going on in his own life.' , I think I tried to convince myself that you didn't know either. But, that wasn't true was it?"

Please don't do this 

"No."

She looked away. He had seen her cry a handful of times. But, he had never seen her cry like this. She took a deep breath and placed her face in her hands. And that's when the tears started,

What do I do, what do I do, what do I do

"How long?"

"Em. Please, I don't want to fight with you. C'mon.."

"Damn it. Draco, fuck!  How long did you know?"

"I don't know." 

"Draco!"

"I've always fucking known! I mean shit, I'm a fucking Malfoy!"

She took a sharp breath and stared at him. Her eyebrows furrowed. She got up. She pushed the blanket off of her. She didn't go anywhere, she just stood there.

She was drunk.He stood up too. He was drunk. 

"Sit down, please." he said softly to her, "Let me explain and I'll walk to you back to your room." 

"No. I can find it myself. " 

She did not look at him. His hand found its way onto her cheek again, "Em, baby, please. Let me explain." he drunkenly called to her. "Please. Emersyn."