MAD LOVE

Chapter 7

"I look like an idiot right now, don't I?" the guy asked, turning an embarrassing situation into a joke.

But for me, it was no laughing matter, and a million thoughts started buzzing in my head. Who is he? How does he know me? His reaction speaks louder than any words. Does he know something? I ran away to another city not to keep reliving my past, but to begin a new and peaceful life. And now this person stresses me out.

"I am sorry, Jessica has never had roommates, and now you are here... So... I'm Alex Farrel," he said and held out his hand to me with a friendly smile.

He was very handsome. He had short dark hair brushed back, sky-blue eyes that radiated warmth, a determined chin, and slightly plush lips, as if after a long kiss. The icing on the cake was a small mole on his left cheek. Yet, despite his friendly gesture, I moved closer to Jessica and looked at her.

The blond first frowned, then smiled. She touched my shoulder and gave a nod to show that there was no danger.

"Alana..." I stammered, clearing my throat, "Alana Moore." Staring at his hand, I didn't shake it and looked up at his face.

"Alex, what did you want?" Jessica's voice interrupted our staring contest.

"Not much, really. I just wanted to let you know that Player's arriving today, and we thought to go somewhere and celebrate," he said, glancing at me again, "but I guess you've already made plans with your new roomie, and you're not in the mood, so... Ok... I'm gone." Without another word, Alex turned around and left the room.

A stony silence remained. Every fiber in my being told me I was being examined. Quietly, Jess got down on her knees at my feet and asked me to look at her.

"Lana," she started with a serious face, "the training for my future as a lawyer doesn't just involve legally protecting a woman's rights. I'm also required to provide psychological counseling. So far, they have gone into little depth on this subject, and I've mostly taught myself. But what I've seen so far alarms me..."

Could she really read me that easily?

"Why? I won't be any trouble, I promise. I will be as quiet as a mouse..."

"I don't know why, but something about you attracts me. I've never had friends among girls. My best friends were guys. You've met one of them. I'd really love to have more in common with you than the little that usually passes between roommates. Do you believe me?" Jessica covered my hands with hers and silently waited for an answer.

What could I tell her? That I have also never had friends, among neither girls nor guys? That at school I was a lonely nerd no one wanted to talk to? And that the senior year turned out to be a living hell? The words made a lump in my throat, and I could not breathe. Sniffling, shivering lips, and hateful tears.

All I could do was nod.

"May I ask you a question? I won't pressure you if you don't want to open up."

A nod...

"Has someone sexually abused you?" she whispered, squeezing my hands in sympathy.

A nod... Slowly, too slow...

"May I hug you?"

And the dam burst. She put her arms around me as I sobbed on her shoulder, pouring out my soul without saying a word.

Some minutes later, I was warm in her arms and relaxed. Soft and cozy, as if I were in front of a fireplace, wrapped in a blanket, holding a hot drink. She also smelled good. I don't why, but I suddenly remembered a moment from one of my therapy sessions.