MAD LOVE

Chapter 13

Alana

"The Federal District Court for the Southern District of New York. Closed session. A hearing is underway on a case of assault with the intent to do harm, with some of the actions life-threatening to the victim..." I'll never forget this day, as well as the Christmas school ball. No matter how well our attorney argued our case, money decides everything — the bastard got only a suspended sentence. However, he and his family left the city.

The gaze. That intense, insane gaze that was focused on me continuously while the session was going on, and then haunted me in nightmares for a long time.

"We'll meet again, mouse. Love you." Those were his last words when he left the courtroom.

It's cold... Why's it so damn cold? It's August but my teeth are chattering. Voices... Somebody's calling at me. I can't hear properly, as if I'm under water. Everything's blurred with tears; I can't even see my shaking hands. Pills. I need my pills... Breathe...

Alana, gather your strength...

Someone knelt down in front of me and put a capsule in my mouth, forcing me to take a couple of sips of water. If they want to kill me, then I'm unable to resist.

I can't live like this anymore...

Then he gently patted my shoulders. I opened my eyes and looked through him with a detached expression. Feelings slowly returned to me. Alex. He, like an angel, tore the canvas of darkness and saved me.

"Thank you," I croaked. I leaned back exhaustedly against the wall of the fountain, which was located in the campus square. "It's been a long time since I've experienced something like this. What did you give me?"

"Jess handed over these pills and said they would help. Who was that guy?" asked my savior with concern.

"He's my past. Although I still hope that this is just someone's idea of a bad joke."

"Lana," Alex paused, waiting for my look, "did he hurt you?"

"You have no idea how close you are to the truth," I smiled sadly. "He destroyed me in the most primal meaning of this word, and I'm not yet ready to stir those memories up."

"Sorry. Let's go and have some hot tea, you're still shivering," said Alex, getting me back on my feet and leading the way to the nearest café.

"Mousy, mousy, mousy, stop running from me! One, two – I'll bring you; three, four – we'll be behind the same door; finally, number five – I'll help you raise your thighs."

No matter how far I run away, that voice is always close, as if the pursuer is breathing in my neck. This voice, which I used to love so much, now more akin to a metal screeching.

Maneuvering between the trunks of tall pines, I ran out to the cliff, from where the only way on is down, into the arms of the raging ocean. I took a step back and bumped into someone with my body. There is no need to guess who that person was, because the energy emanating from him made my blood through my veins in an alarming way.

He pinned me down with one hand, with another one he tightly squeezed my neck, cutting off my oxygen supply. A gallows with three faceless bodies appeared in front of me.

"Look, my little mouse," he said, pointing at the first body, "this is your hope for a happy future." He pointed to the second body, "This is your belief in justice, collapsed like a house of cards, hasn't it? And, finally, this is love... You won't be happy with anyone, I won't allow it... I am your air! And we'll burn together in this hell. I love you."