Ash x Gary (Palletshipping)

Pika-huh?

Me: Why am I doing this?

Ash: 'Cause you're a crazy perv'.

Me: Yeah? Well, you can't even win in any of the Pokémon league tournaments.

Ash: Shut up! I'll show you!

Me: No, you won't because I'm calling the shots here, and I say the only person you'll be 'showing' is Gary.

Ash: Wait—wha-? You can't do that! *Blushes furiously* I'm only ten!

Me: Ash, you were ten in 1997. It's time to grow up. You should be around TWENTY-EIGHT by now...which makes you legal.

Ash: *Nosebleed*

Me: Okay, people, are you ready? By the way, I'm willing to take requests on other couples here—boyxboy or otherwise—because a writer's job is to entertain their audience.

Pikachu: Pika!

Me: If you electrocute me, rat, we're gonna have a problem.

Inner Me: If you ever talk to Pikachu like that again, I'll kill you! *Brandishes cleaver*

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"Pikachu, quick attack!" I yell, and Pikachu makes a blinding dash for the other trainer's Aron...and bounces ineffectually off of its steel armor. Ugh, despite all of our battles, Pikachu doesn't seem to ever level up that much, and it's not looking good for our second time around in Hoenn's Pokémon league.

"Aron, headbutt the little rat into the ground!" my current enemy cries. She's a bubbly blonde that seems to have a thing for steel types. She currently has a Steelix watching the match with her. Good thing she didn't make me fight THAT beast. It's also a good thing that she didn't use mud slap—Pikachu's weak against ground type moves.

"Dodge it, buddy!" I cry out. But it's too late. I was too caught up in my thoughts to give Pikachu orders fast enough. But why couldn't Pikachu just do something for itself for once? When we first met, it seemed to think it was better than me. God, I don't know why I'm being such a buttface lately—maybe it's because I'm TWENTY-FRIGGIN'-EIGHT, and I still don't have a girlfriend.

"Pikachu, get up! I know you can do this! Use iron tail on that Aron!" Come on, if I can't have a love life, at least let me have a win!

Pikachu stumbles to its feet, its small paws trembling from exertion. The poor thing has a muddy scratch across its left cheek from where it made contact with the ground. I'm gonna show that bubbly blonde a thing or two about me and Pikachu's bond. "Go for it, Pikachu! Iron tail!" God, I hope this works.

"Aron, watch out! It's coming for you!" bubble blonde screeches. The small, blue-eyed steel type braces itself, not bothering to try and dodge Pikachu's attack—I think it's tired from chasing Pikachu around so much. Pikachu doesn't have to carry the weight of that armor around, after all, and is known for its speed and agility.

"Pika! CHU!" Pikachu's silver, glowing tail makes explosive contact with Aron, sending a blinding cloud of dust across the battlefield. I raise my arms in front of my face, protecting my eyes from the debris. Bubble blonde cries out in surprise, and I can hear Steelix moving its massive body around, probably trying to protect her.

"Oh, no! Aron! No!" I let my arms fall back to my sides to see the outcome of Pikachu's iron tail attack. Yes! Aron's out cold, its eyes in that telltale swirl design!

"Pikachu! We did it!" I shout for joy, fist pumping into the air. Pikachu comes sprinting at me, leaping into my arms. I catch it, and it licks my cheek. I laugh joyfully. We won! We won!

"Oh, Aron, you did so well, honey! Now we've got to get you to a Pokémon Center for immediate medical attention!" she pauses, seeming to think intensely about something, "And a bath!" Steelix looks it would facepalm itself if it could, "Come on, Auntie Joy will take care of you." She picks up Aron, tenderly cradling it in her arms. What does she mean Auntie Joy? Is there actually someone in the Nurse Joy family that doesn't look like all the other Nurse Joys? And how much does that little steel ball weigh? How can she hold it so effortlessly?

"Here, let me take him—he must be heavy," I offer, outstretching my arms. She gazes at me warily, reluctant to part with her precious pokémon—I can certainly relate to the feeling: I love my Pikachu.

"Okay, thank you," she murmurs, finally placing Aron in my arms. I almost fall to my knees—the damn thing must weigh fifty pounds! Steelix gives a grating laugh, and I look up at its gruesome grin and shudder, totally creeped out.

"Teehee, maybe you should've let me carry him," bubble blonde giggles, then glares at me in a sudden change of mood, "Hey, we have to get to the Pokémon Center right away. Let's go." And she takes off running, not bothering to put Steelix back in its poké ball.

I follow after her, Pikachu on my shoulder and a Steelix on my tail.

"Hey! I never caught your name!" I shout.

"It's Teagan!" she yells over her shoulder. Teagan?—that's kind of weird. I guess it's no weirder than Cilan, though. You know I always used to think he was called Simon.

"What did you mean when you said 'Auntie Joy?' Are you actually related to Nurse Joy?" I ask at a more normal volume, having caught up to her.

"Yeah, the Nurse Joy in Oldale Town is my aunt—but by marriage, not blood."

"Oh," I say, nodding along, "that makes sense." Teagan laughs at my facial expression—what? What do I look like right now?

"If I had Auntie's hair, I might have to shave my head—I like silver much better than pink," Teagan confesses. Her comment calls my attention to her outfit—she's wearing metallic silver tights, black sneakers with silver poké ball designs on them, and a black v-neck tee with silver bands around the sleeves. Her blonde hair is pulled back in a herring bone braid with a silver scrunchy, but she has some bangs that are getting in her teal eyes. 'She actually looks pretty cool,' I think to myself, 'I just pulled on a bigger version of my very first trainer outfit.'

"Look! We're here! Auntie Joy! Auntie Joy! You have to help Aron!" Teagan shrieks as we come crashing through the automatic doors to the Pokémon Center, barely waiting for them to open wide enough to squeeze through. I come skidding to a halt, though, at who I see behind the counter. Gary Oak smiles benignly back at me.

"Hey there, Ashy boy!"

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Me: Alright, verdict?

Ash: Why's there a girl in this? I thought I was supposed to get together with Gary.

Me: Ooo! So eager, Ashy boy! Don't worry, you and Gary will be getting a lot more screen time from here on out. I just wanted to do a bit of a lead-in with this chapter.

Ash: *Staring dreamily off into space, clearly not listening*

Pikachu: Pika! CHU!

Me: AHHH! *Falls over, electrocuted, and coughs out a black cloud of smoke* We'll be back soon, folks...