Ash x Gary (Palletshipping)

Surf's Down, Brah

The next morning I pull Ash out of Daddy's arms where they fell asleep together in the same bed, not caring about how cute they look. Daddy's eyes pop open, his snuggle buddy gone, and Ash falls to the floor still half-unconscious.

"Get up. Get out. Find the gym leader, and let's get the hell off this island before I die of contest deprivation!" I order Ash.

"Teagan, watch your mouth," Daddy nags me, unimpressed by my morning wake up call. Who does he think he is to tell me to watch my mouth? I can see him staring at Ash's ass right now!

"Watch your mind," I rebuke my father. He gapes at me. Ash looks around confusedly, dazed, clueless, and maybe even still asleep.

"Okay," he finally agrees standing up and letting out a massive yawn.

Then those two buttheads make me wait while they get dressed—it's already ten in the morning! I was up hours ago! I've waited long enough!

I drag Ash out the door, to the protests of a clingy Daddy, as he's pulling his shirt on, and I force him to race out of the Pokémon Center with me, his Pikachu hot on our trail.

Next thing on my list: find Brawly, the gym leader. I heard he has gross blue hair that he couples with a hideous orange shirt, and he almost always has one of his fighting pokémon out surfing with him.

There! In the waves!

"Drill, use twineedle to scare Brawly back to shore!" I release my new, shiny Beedrill from its poke ball, still holding onto Ash by the front of his shirt. My bug type better hurry up because I can see Daddy gaining on us, and he does not look happy.

Drill flies out over the waves and starts aiming just convincingly enough for Brawly with its stingers that he comes paddling into shore on his surfboard like there was a Sharpedo sighting.

"Wha-?!" he starts to say as I grab him and drag both him and Ash along the beach towards the gym.

I pick up the pace, hearing Daddy shouting my name behind us. "Drill, keep Daddy busy!" I yell, desperate to get this over with so I can get off this wretched island. Beedrill nods at me and flies back to start harassing Dad.

"Ah! Get away from me you thing!" I smirk, a bit pleased with myself.

We reach the gym, then, and I toss Ash and Brawly to their respective positions on the battlefield. Then I rush over to where the referee is standing and shove him out of my way. Ash still looks sleepy, and Brawly looks terrified, dripping wet in his swim shorts.

"Each trainer will use one pokémon each! There will be no substitutions and a time limit of three minutes! The match begins now!" I spout out my own invented rules in the interest of saving time.

It takes the two a minute, but, when I say, "Two minutes left!" they snap out of it.

"Pikachu, I choose you!" Ash decides on his pokémon first.

"Poliwrath, let's go!" Is this gym leader stupid or just really full of himself? Poliwrath may be a fighting type, but it's also a water type—weak against electric attacks.

"Pikachu, use volt tackle!" Good, this should be over quickly. I'm impressed Ash's Pikachu knows such a powerful electric move.

"Poliwrath, just let it roll off your back!" Brawly commands. Is he insane?! That toad's gonna get fried!

Sure enough, Pikachu hits Poliwrath full force, and the water type falls to the gym floor, blackened and cooked by the intense electricity it is so susceptible to.

Brawly just sort of gapes at his pokémon and then asks his referee, "Dude, was that really a match?"

Referee dude shrugs and says, "You kinda let it happen so...yeah."

"Well, I guess you actually beat me the first time around for once, Ash," Brawly goes over to the other end of the battlefield, producing a badge from out of nowhere—where did he have that thing?! "Here's your Knuckle Badge, brah!" He then pulls Ash in for a creepy, wet hug, even though he's still soaked.

Daddy bursts through the gym doors, then, and slams them quickly in Drill's face. He goes dark red all over when he sees Brawly hugging Ash—not an 'oh my God, I'm so cute and flustered' red, but a 'get the motherf@#! away from MY b%#@!' red.

Now I know for sure we're leaving for Slateport City on the next ship out...because Daddy will need to flee the scene of the crime after he murders Brawly.