Ash x Gary (Palletshipping)

Bonus: The Boy at the Candy Store

Me: "This one-shot was partially inspired by the Johnny Cash song, Ballad of a Teenage Queen, featured in the attached video! By the way, in that song, Gary's technically the girl..." *Winks* "Also by the way, I know the picture is of Red and Green/Blue, but it was either that one or the one of the actual doujinshi someone drew with Gary making Ditto turn Ash into a girl—I DON'T KNOW HOW—and Ash literally saying, word for word, 'My cock is gone!' ...I decided to spare you that image. You're welcome. Oh, and Gary proceeded to pick up that female Ash--in case you were wondering what the game plan was there."

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*Gary's POV*

Today, Gramps, the 'famous' (insert eye roll here) Professor Oak, told me that my mind seems all clouded up—I'm not looking at my research clearly, and I should take a break. Sounds like trouble to me...

Anyway, Pallet Town's pretty small so one of the only things to do, here, is head on down to the candy store. It's a hangout spot for the younger kids, but some of the adults come, too. This will be the first time I'm even bothering with something so pointless as candy when there's work to be done. Honestly, I'm only here because Gramps kicked me out. Apparently, I absolutely have to get my mind off research before I come back just to research—I think the old man's losing it.

Whatever. I wonder what kind of candy they got here. Anything for pokémon? I guess I could at least get Umbreon something—that would sort of make this trip worthwhile.

I look up from my clipboard that I snuck past Gramps earlier as I enter the shop through the automatic sliding doors. The first thing I should see is candy, but instead it's the back side of a very full pair of short, short jean shorts.

My brain backfires.

Um, I guess this is candy.

There's a long pair of pale legs attached to the jean shorts as their owner is bent over doing something to the floor. Lucky. Fucking. Floor.

The owner stands up, turns around to see who's come in the door—aka me—and I see that the jean shorts also have themselves a black tank top, chocolate eyes, black...soft looking hair, and a red and white, pinstriped apron.

Ohhhhh Gawd, my heart throbs in my chest and maybe a little down lower, too, as I practically melt into a puddle of lab coat and numbers on the floor.

Now, there is one thing: the jean shorts are...very full...with a male ass. I put my hand up to my cheek and feel it burning hot anyways. Huh, I've never really cared much about straight, bi, pokésexual, or any of that stuff—never researched it—but right now, I really, really wanna be gay.

...A minute later, it occurs to me that I'm standing face to face with the Candy God, blushing and looking like an idiot. He's just giving me a bemused smile. Shit! He's seen me! Now I have to say something! (Me: *Pulls at hair* "Shit! No! Now I have to say something!")

"Uh..." I flounder. Come on, Gary Oak! You're a genius! You're hot, too—the mirror tells us so! Say something! "Did it hurt?" suddenly blurts out of my mouth like word vomit. Ugh, disgusting—the set up for the oldest, grodiest pick-up line in the history of all pick-up lines. WHY?!

The Candy God actually smiles genuinely at me for some reason, laugh lines crinkling up the skin around his eyes, lips, and gumdrop nose. "When?" he returns, playing along amicably.

WAIT A MINUTE, GARY OAK! MAYBE YOU STILL ARE A GENIUS! "When you fell from heaven?" My face goes super nova.

The Candy God giggles, and I actually feel my knees give way. He gives me a wide-eyed look as I wind up collapsed on the floor, but then he says with a cheeky grin, "You should get out of the lab more often. Come back here and work on those pick-up lines, lover boy." He starts to sashay away, getting back to work. My eyes follow the jean shorts like a hypnotist's pocket watch...I would love to be one of his pocket monsters..."And remember to pick yourself up off the floor!" he calls back, "You're a fire hazard." He turns, gives me a wink, then gets back to that...art form known as walking.

...I leave the store in a daze—research gone from my mind. Today, the Candy God told me to visit him again sometime. Sounds like trouble to me...

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Me:c*Blushes* "Oh, le giggles. A nice pick-me-up after the last chapter, no? Ah, itis for me. My heart is slightly mended now." *Clasps hands over chest*