The Secret Sea - (Chaptered Version)

* 42

We step out of the way as Jesus makes a perfect landing. In the distance, I hear the engine of a plane. VarnLiqn leaps from the king of kings and scurries over to Eve, crawling up her body.

"Easy, easy!" Eve howls with laughter as VarnLiqn licks her face furiously. "Oh my god, you're still alive. I can't believe it!"

I rub VarnLiqn's head and he growls, before giving me a lick too. "You really saved our asses back in that jungle."

"Save ass," says VarnLiqn with pride.

Jesus unstraps his parachute and walks over to us. "You two really fell off the radar. The void cube didn't take you where Suzy and I thought it would. We wanted you to recoup for a bit before going after Bonnacon."

"Weird," I say, suspecting Karkadann may have somehow intercepted us with his magick.

"The Lord of the Desert helped us, so we repaid the favor," says Eve.

"I know," says Jesus. "What a shock! You shanked that smelly, bovine bastard. I never liked the guy anyway."

"Oh, good," I squeak, failing to gauge Jesus's intentions.

"When you didn't show up in Suzy's grotto, I tracked down VarnLiqn. I hoped he might be able to tell me where you had gone. Poor guy was half-dead when I found him. Thankfully, a little TLC perked him right up." Jesus chuckles. "You should see Danica...she's so pissed."

"I bet," says Eve, humoring Jesus.

"Anyway, right after I patched up your racoon, your energy suddenly reappeared. The quickest way to reach you was by plane, so I chartered a Cessna and did a drop with our furry pal." Jesus rubs his chest. "Sharp claws on this fella."

"I sharp," agrees VarnLiqn.

"Couldn't you just rip through reality again?" I ask.

"I've been expending a lot of magick lately," replies Jesus. "I need to conserve it whenever I can. Even Suzy's been feeling some strain."

"Well, you missed the party," I tell Jesus. "We're not doing much at the moment."

"Is Suzy mad we killed Bonnacon?" asks Eve.

Jesus shakes his head. "No. Poor Bonnacon had been insane for centuries. It was a mercy killing, really."

"I've had my fill of insane deities," I say, running my hands through my hair. "God, I need a shower."

"Was that a prayer?" asks Jesus. "Here, take these."

I stretch out my hand and Jesus drops two void cubes into my palm. "Creating these is draining—I only have a few left in my stockpile," he says. "The little one will take you to a room I booked at my favorite casino in Las Vegas. I left you something there that will make your final task much easier. After a bit of R and R, use the big cube to confront Poseidon. Speaking of which, his lackeys will soon arrive here on a fleet of dune buggies. I suggest you not hang around too long."

"Great. What about you?" I ask Jesus.

"Ah, It's back to the volcano for me. I'm halfway through the 4th season of Breaking Bad and it's incredible—definitely cube-worthy. Until next time!" Jesus throws a block at the ground and falls through a black circle of energy.

"That was...awkward," I say.

Eve holds her finger up to her lips, making a hush motion.

My heart skips as I see dust rising in the distance. I'm not looking forward to meeting cultist ninjas on ATVs. "Ugh, we better get out of here. Which one was the casino cube?" I ask, looking at the mystical objects. The engines are roaring closer.

"The big one?" says Eve. It sounds like a question but I trust her. An iron spear sails overhead and lands a few inches from us. There's no time to waste. I throw the cube on the ground.

"No, wait!" shrieks Eve.