The Boy I Love to Hate

Chapter 30 The Super Hot Guy Txted Me!!

Loving him is like

Driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street

Faster than the wind, passionate as sin

Ending so suddenly

Loving him is like trying to change your mind

Once you're already flying through the free fall

Like the colors in autumn, so bright

Just before they lose it all

Losing him was blue like I'd never known

Missing him was dark grey all alone

Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met

But loving him was red

Loving him was red

I never knew that singing a song could be this soul uplifting. Dinadala ako sa alapaap ng sarili kong tinig habang sinasabayan ang musikang nanggagaling sa bawat pagkalabit ni Caden ng string ng kanyang gitara. Kusang lumalabas ang emosyon ko sa bawat linya ng kantang lumalabas sa bibig ko. Napapapikit ako at napapahawak sa dibdib. May mga pagkakataon sa lyrics ng kanta na napapatitig ako sa gwapong mukha ni Caden, tinataon kong nakatingin siya sa gitara bago ko matamang pag-aralan ang mukha niya. Kabisado ko na ang bawat anggulo niyon, bawat ekspresyon at bawat linya kapag masaya siya, inis, malungkot o may malalim na iniisip. Nahihiya ako kapag nahuhuli niya akong nakatingin sa kanya habang ang mga lyrics ng kanta ni Taylor ay parang direktang patama sa kanya.

Touching him was like

Realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you

Memorizing him was as easy as knowing all the words

To your old favorite song

Fighting with him was like

Trying to solve a crossword and realizing there's no right answer

Regretting him was like

Wishing you never found out that love could be that strong

Caden was watching me sing intently, he's glancing at his strings sometimes but he didn't lose his focus on me. Para akong lihim na nagsisilawat ng damdamin ko para sa kanya sa pamamagitan ng pagkanta kaya naman damang-dama ko 'to talaga. Hindi niya alam kung gaano ako kasaya sa bawat sandaling kasama ko siya. He told me he missed me awhile ago, pero hindi ko sinabi sa kanya kung gaano ko gustong hilahin ang oras simula nang magpaalam ako sa kanya, kung kontrolado ko ang pagikot ng mundo sa axis nito, kung may remote control ako para sa oras, gusto kong patakbuhin iyon ng mabilis para makasama ko na siya kaagad. At ngayon sa mga oras na ito, gusto kong tumigil ang pag-ikot ng mundo, gusto kong manatili sa mga titig niya na para bang ang ganda-ganda ko sa paningin niya at sa akin lang nakasentro ang atensyon niya, wala nang iba.

Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes

Tell myself it's time now, gotta let go

But moving on from him is impossible

When I still see it all in my head

In burning red

Burning, it was red

I came to this part of the lyrics that I felt so sad I almost wet my eyes. During these happiest moments of my life it suddenly occurs to me, what if I lose him? What if the euphoria that I'm feeling right now is just an illusion of time and will quickly be carried away by the winds? What if he's just a once in a lifetime experience that's only meant to spark beautifully one second and begone after? I don't know what I'd do without him. When the song came to an end I manage to say the final word without breaking. Pinaangat ko ang sulok ng magkabila kong bibig para bigyan siya ng matamis na ngiti.