Everything to Me

66.

Before Sirius snapped out of his dreamy state, Juli put the cloak on and ran back to her dorm, closing the door behind her. She sunk down on the floor and let it sink in.

They were supposed to remember it. It was supposed to be special. He was supposed to tease her about it and then run from James for his life. She was supposed to tell a squealing Lily about her first time. Whenever Remus would tease them about it or Peter got them a 'celebratory' chocolate, he was supposed to smirk and she had to blush. She was supposed to drift off in Sirius' arms but instead, she climbed into her bed with a heavy heart and an empty stomach, alone in her dorm.

* * * * *

Juli went for breakfast early that morning, mostly because she couldn't sleep the previous night. Hoping to get some distance from her friends, she wanted to go before anyone else arrived. Especially Sirius. She didn't have the courage to meet his eyes, or even look at him.

She knew what she did was wrong but she could not put him in danger. That was the excuse she gave herself.

While idly playing with her food, her gaze fell on the door and she saw Regulus walking in. Instantly she got up and ran towards him, almost tripping on the way.

"Regulus!" She called.

He turned his head towards the voice and frowned when he saw Juli running to him.

"What?" He asked, as she reached him. "I thought I had told you to keep you distance."

"When have I ever listened to you?" She smirked. "And since when do you wake up early? Or did you not sleep at all?"

This only seemed to annoy him more. "What do you want?" He asked again.

"Why are you acting this way with me?" She narrowed her eyes.

"Because you are acting. It is so obvious I don't understand why others have not noticed it yet."

"I am not acting, Reggie. Believe me."

"You know what?" He rolled his eyes. "It's too early I don't have enough coffee in me for this conversation."

Juli moved towards him and putting her arms on around his shoulders, pulled him towards the Slytherin table. "Then let's get you some coffee and food and have this conversation!"

He groaned loudly and removed her arm, but sat down beside her at the table nevertheless.

The Hall started filling soon and they were soon joined by Avery, Macnair and the girl Clarisse.

"Fancy seeing you here, Potter." Macnair said as he sat down on her other side and put an arm around her waist.

Juli wanted to rip off his arm and throw it at him but she gave him a thin lipped smile,  "Yeah, well. What better house to be in than Slytherin?"

James and Sirius would have thrown up at these words and she chuckled softly, imagining their reactions.

"Look at you being all smart." Avery said and she nodded, not agreeing at all.

"Why is Black looking at you like that?" Clarisse said suddenly, making her turn towards Regulus.

"Not me. My brother." He said, sipping on what Juli hoped was coffee.

"Oh, um..." She couldn't make herself turn around and look back at Sirius. "Like what?" she asked.

"Like he knows you but can't place you."

"Well, you never know what goes on his head. Who even cares?" She said and laughed dryly. Thank fully, Clarisse seemed to buy it.

Juli heard a very faint crack and saw Regulus' plate disappear. "Okay. Time to talk!" She exclaimed and pulling him by his elbows, dragged him up.

"Oh alright! Fine." He said and started walking.

As she walked with him, she felt all the eyes in the Great Hall on her, including her old friends'.

She looked around, trying to stare everyone down but accidentally locked eyes with Sirius. He seemed upset. And confused.

Juli knew why. 3 hours of his life had gone missing and there was no explanation for it. At least not one that he knew of.

His beautiful grey eyes had a soft sadness in them. She saw Lily put a hand on his shoulder gently and he shook his head, smiling softly.

"I have never seen Sirius this bad, you know?" Regulus said, when they reached the Black Lake. "He is usually the loudest in the hall, joking and laughing with his obnoxious friends, but he's been really quiet since the last 2 days. The whole group is. You really did a number on them."

"Well... They can't handle the truth. It's on them."

"Anyway," He said. "You want to tell me what is going on?"

"How many times am I going to have to tell you? I realized the truth and want to be on your side. On the winning side. The Dark Lord's side.

"And how many times am I going to have to tell you that I know you are lying?"

Juli looked at her feet, not being able to meet his eyes. "I- I am not."

"I care about you, Juli. That is why I stayed away from you. That is why I said all those things about you and Sirius. The people I associate myself with can hurt you. You have to understand."

"They don't hate me." She said, her voice full of stubborness. "Not anymore. I am not angry anymore about you saying all those things either."

Then she looked up at his face. His eyes were exactly the same as Sirius'. She would never forget their grey shade. "I'll be honest." She could at least tell him the truth which made sense. She blamed those eyes for making her weak. "I don't care whether you believe me or not, but I want to be your friend again, Reggie. I miss you. I missed you all this time."

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I did too."

She gave him a small smile and pulled him into a hug, which he awkwardly returned.

"So..." He said, thinking for a moment and cleared his throat. "I still don't believe you, but since you are being honest, I should be too. I should especially tell you this now because of your new found realisation."

"Okay..." To her, his voice was full of sarcasm. It did sound like he was being sarcastic.

"But maybe later. I have class right now." He turned around to leave.

"Hey!" Juli protested. "I have a class, too. Just tell me."

"Well," He said, his voice barely above a whisper. "I am joining the Dark Lord."

He was being sarcastic, wasn't he?