A Court Of Fire And Pain

The meeting of royals

Well I finally posted another chapter! I'm probably going do do a couple time skips after this because I don't have many ideas from now till the battle. I hope this chapter is satisfactory. :D

Chapter 34 Aelin:
The three of us stepped out of the portal. Feyre immediately started oohing and ahhing.
I sighed. "It's just a forest. What's so special about it?"
She huffed. "Well I don't know, can't I just find it cool? There aren't any ashwood trees anywhere."
"Sure, I guess. Anyway, we need to head through town so Rhys find a way to hide your wings."
With a snap of his fingers they were gone.
Cool. I led them through the streets where they looked around in awe. I really didn't get what was so cool about it, but whatever.
We reached the gates where the guards immediately stepped into place. This was so annoying. Climbing through the windows was so much easier and way more fun.
I pulled my hood down and let them recognize me. As soon as they saw my face they stepped away in shock and a form of fear.
Never mind, this was pretty fun too. "We need to see Chaol."
The first guard gulped. "Do you have an appointment with the king?"
Wait no, this sucked. "Does it really matter? Yes we do. And you really need to up the security, because I've already been in there today and Dorian's waiting inside."
As they stood frozen with surprise and confusion I brushed past them. I gestured for Feyre and Rhys to follow, and we entered the castle.
They weren't in Chaol's study or the throne room, so we ended up knocking at his suite door. Third time's a charm, they were in there.
Once we were all seated the introductions began. Well first Chaol yelled at me for freaking out his guards, then the introductions happened.
Once everyone was happy and knew each other, the real work began.
Rhys and Feyre started describing their powers but since I already knew them I zoned out. Normally I would still have pretty good awareness of what's going on around me, training doesn't wear off so easily. But I was really really really worn out from all the portals. And I was just tired in general. I deserved a nap just for being my fabulous self all the time.
That's what I did, which didn't go over well. It ended with Dorian shaking me awake, startling me and causing him to get flung out the window. Rhys managed to catch him so I don't get what all the yelling was for. Everyone needed to chill.
Chaol was still giving me a dirty look.
"Ok, I'm sorry about the window, but I'm not paying for it okay?"
Yrene was the only thing holding him back.
It took a few more minutes but we were all settled again. Chaol had announced the need to fight again but hadn't specified why or against who. That was going to be a shock for those people. The thought of it brought me back down to earth. Acting like nothing mattered was the only thing keeping me afloat in a sea of darkness. But it was getting harder and harder to do that. Everyday we spent planning and preparing was another day our children were out through who knows what! They were suffering because of us.
I realized I had zoned out again. What the hell was wrong with me today? Had the portals really done this much damage on me?
I managed to stay focused for the rest of the visit. Yrene and Feyre seemed to bond really well, which soothed Chaol's fears. For now at least.
Just before we were about to head back, Yrene dragged to a separate room.
I raised an eyebrow. "What is it? Don't tell me you're having second thoughts."
She shook her head. "No, that's not it. This isn't about me, it's about you. Are you alright?"
Huh? "What kind of question is that! Of course I'm fine!"
She shook her head. "Aelin. I understand why you feel the need to hide weakness from the others. But I'm a healer. I can tell something's wrong."
I sighed. "I don't get it. I've been through way worse hells than this. But I'm feeling... similar to when I was in that coffin  and when I was a slave. That kind of emotional distress."
Yrene nodded her understanding. I loved that about her. There wasn't pity in her gaze.
"I'm thinking it's because you're not the one taking the damage. You always try to make scenarios end with only you getting hurt. It's your nature to protect everyone, even at the cost of yourself."
I frowned. "Are you sure? I can think of many times I've been plenty selfish."
She smiled sadly. "That's who you try to be, but that's not who you are Aelin. You're in pain because you're trying to feel what your children are feeling. Because you think that you and your children should switch places and deep down you blame everything that goes wrong on yourself."
That hit hard. I moved my mouth but no words came out. Everything she said was true of course.
And I hated it.
Yrene smiled gently. "Let me try and help." She raised her hand and laid it on my forehead. It began to glow and my head was filled with a warm fuzzy feeling. It felt.... nice.
Too soon she pulled away. But the nice feeling left as soon as I saw how worn out she looked. "Yrene are you alright?"
Before she could answer there was a crash from the other room.
Yrene leaned on the wall and took a couple deep breaths. "Sorry. It's been a while since I used my powers for something more than a headache."
Oh. Well another thing that was my fault. I guess she was still in my head because as soon as I said that her eyes snapped to mine.
"No. Aelin this is what I was talking about, you always blame yourself. You need to stop."
I nodded and we started walking to see what the noise was about,
But I don't think I could stop blaming myself. It was the only thing giving me enough motivation to push forward. If it wasn't my fault then how was I supposed to react?
The others were all grouped around Chaol, who was slumped in a chair.
"What happened here?"
Dorian, with one hand on Chaol's shoulder, was the one who spoke. "He just suddenly fell over. Like his legs didn't support him."
Oh.
Yrene took his hand. "Sorry Chaol. I used more of my power then I thought I did."
Dorian and a Chaol nodded their understanding.
Feyre and Rhysand still looked confused but I didn't feel like explaining it to them. I bowed dramatically and dragged them out. "See you soon your majesties!"
Then we headed back to the night court. It was time for things to get serious.