A Court Of Fire And Pain

Connall

Chapter 25 Connall:

That iron coffin. This wasn't good. I certainly didn't like the memories from that time. I squeezed Fenrys's- I still couldn't believe he was real- I squeezed his hand as he started to shake. He had also been hurt during that time. And that made me so goddamn mad.

I went up to Rowan who had a murderous expression on his face. "Rowan. Please, whatever plan you come up with, let me help. And if there is something- anything, I can do, I'll do it. Even if it's suicidal I'll gladly take that part to ensure she gets out. Better me than any of you."

"Connall... no one will die,"

I shook my head. "We don't know that. This is a Valg king. So send me to take the worst of it."

He obviously didn't know what to say. He didn't want me to get hurt, we had been friends for many years, but the safety of his mate was more important.

"Fine. If it comes to that, you'll be the first. But it's not going to happen."

I smiled in relief. In reality I had no reason to live anymore. I hated myself. I was cruel, and had hurt so many people while I was under Maeve's control. The only reason I was still alive was because I needed to make sure Fenrys was safe and happy. And he was.

"I have something for you,"

"Oh?"

I reached into my pocket and pulled out a framed photo. (I realize they don't have cameras or anything so I guess it's a painting or something)

It was a picture of two young Fae females and a baby Fae male. "I found this in Aelin's pocket. I thought you would want it back.

He took it with tears in his eyes. "I'll get them back, all of them. I won't let them suffer anymore."

He seemed to be talking to himself. I assumed those were his children.

"Leave me alone. I need to think."

We all left the room. Fenrys and one of the Night Court males were staring at each other very intensely. Then Fenrys looked away and headed over to me.

"You aren't going to die Connall. Not when I just found you again."

"... of course."

He looked down and my heart cracked. If I died it would break him. He didn't deserve that. But... I just couldn't go on. I had never planned to make contact for that reason, but with all this stuff about the Valg I had no choice. Originally I was only going to make sure he was safe and then find somewhere to rot in peace. But now.... oh gods what should I do?

"Connall, um, would you like to visit mother?"

What.? "Mother?"

He shifted his weight from foot to foot. "I saw her a few days ago. I told her you were dead. But now... she would be so happy to see you. But Connall, father is dead."

Oh.

He had tears in his eyes and I pulled him close. I couldn't visit mother. Not when my death would hurt her. "I'm not ready to see her yet Fenrys. But I'll let you know when I am."

I hated myself for being the one to cause this pain. I hated everything. I didn't want to hurt him, but maybe his mate would help him through it, whoever it was. Before I left I would make sure he remained happy. So, "who's your mate?"

"W-what? Um... nobody.... we aren't in a relationship, not even friends really."

Hm. That would have to change. "Come on, tell me!" I needed to act cheerful, like my old self. He needed to believe I was fine, and that way he would be fine too.

"No. We promised to keep it secret. We don't want it to be this way."

I could tell he was lying but I let it go. I would figure it out on my own, and make sure whoever it was would take care of him. So when we were all gathered around the table I began trying to scent the one who was woven into Fenrys. Night chilled mist and cedar. He/she was in the room, I knew that much. Finally I pinpointed it to the male who was staring at him earlier. Azrael I think his name was. We would have to have a little chat later.

We ate the dinner in silence, each of us trying to figure out a plan to rescue Aelin. Once we began to disperse I cornered Azriel.

"Okay, listen here buddy. I know you are Fenrys's mate. I don't care if you don't accept the bond. I don't care if you aren't lovers, and I don't care if you aren't friends. But you will protect him understand?. I don't know or care what you have been through. I only care about him. I won't be around for long, and he will need someone to keep him safe and happy. And that's going to be you."

The shadows around his body seemed to whisper in his ear and his eyes widened. "Of course I understand. But you... you're planning to do something foolish aren't you. Something that will break him further. Why else would you come to me? So you listen to me."

Oh here was the territorialness (it's a word alright) the mating bond created.

"You don't care about me, I don't care about you. But if you plan to throw your life away when you have a perfectly happy life with your brother ahead of you, that's a problem. Don't be selfish. I will be there for him, don't worry about that. But it should be you. He wants you don't you see? When he talked about you, I don't think I'd ever seen a man as broken as that, and believe me I've seen plenty. So get your shit together."

With that he turned around and strode away. If what he said was true... I was selfish and I knew that. But I couldn't change it. I would die, so I would make it have an impact on his life. I would save his queen.