Drowning In The Past

Chapter 36- Fake promises, real strengths.

(Sia's pov)

"Young lady, you are in a lot of trouble." Was the first thing I heard from my oldest brother after we broke away from the hug.

I hummed, "I know. But this time, I swear it wasn't even our fault. He kidnapped us." I was then engulfed in multiple hugs from all my older brothers, and my twin. All relieved that I was safe, hurt, but safe. I knew after these events I would be protected even more than I was, and perhaps, I would not even be allowed on missions like these, but I was happy that I killed the one person who made me suffer to such an extent.

I knew that the repercussions of these events would be immense trauma, and nightmares, but I knew I was safe. I had been too broken to even care. I could safely say 'I'm okay.' even after going through so much. I think I was lost in my thoughts too much when I heard Alex ask, "You all okay?"

Nodding my head yes, I replied, "Just... Just tired. But, I'll be okay. I always am." With that, I made a beeline for my room. Once I reached my room, it felt like all the emotions I had managed to bottle up were hitting me like a truck. This time, I was unable to suppress my sobs. Falling down on my knees, I hugged myself close, too scared, too broken, too hurt. I was simply miserable, because he had hurt me too much. I could have always been happy even after he hurt me, knowing the good times we spent together, but now those were fake too. I felt like the ceiling was caving in on me, and I couldn't breathe.

Just then, my oldest brother, Vince rushed towards me, and scooped me up in his arms. We stayed in that position for a while, with my head laying on his chest and his head kept on mine. He was helping me calm down while soothingly rubbing my back, and whispering that it was going to be okay. I didn't know how, but for once, I believed him. I mean the worst that could happen at this point would be me dying, and I think I would be glad if I died, because that would mean less suffering and even less heartbreak.

I didn't dare voice my opinions out to my brother, because I knew he would be heartbroken, and I couldn't ever put him through that kind of pain. "Piccola, sei così forte. Voglio che ricordi sempre che sei una forza della natura, e non voglio mai vederti arrendersi, perché se lo facessi, ci arrenderemo tutti." (baby, you are so strong. I want you to always remember that you are a force of nature, and I never want to see you give up, because if you did, we would all give up. Italian) He mumbled. I have never once seen Vince look so hopeless, and right now, he looked exactly that.

"Te lo prometto fratello, non lo farò. Sei tutta la mia forza, e se ho tutta te, allora posso affrontare qualsiasi cosa. (I promise you brother, I won't. You are all my strength, and if I have all of you, then I can deal with anything. Italian)" I replied. Although, even I didn't believe in my promise, I did believe that my family was my strength, and that if anybody could get me through my rough patch, then it would be them. I knew I would get better with them on my side.

Soon after I was calm enough, Vince and I began talking about trivial things, to keep my mind away from sad and basically depressing thoughts. It was also during this talk that Vince suggested something so absurd, that it almost made me want to pull my hair out. "Do you want to go to a therapist, for a while. To help you get better."

"What the hell Vincent. I am not that messed up for you to suggest that I go visit the goddamned therapist. You know, I'm too mad at you to even think properly right now," I huffed out, taking controlled breaths. With that, I closed my eyes, just tired from everything. I wanted to give up, all this being too much for me, but I remembered that I had a family who loved me.

"I will go to therapy, but I won't promise I will open myself. I am just doin this for you and our brothers. And the condition would be that I have a female therapist." I uttered finally, thinking hard about everything. This shocked Vince, because he thought I had gone to sleep.

"Thank you so much baby. I will do my best to get you an amazing female therapist." He rushed out, looking happy and relieved. "So... I think it's best we start immediately, and so we will begin after 2 days, even tomorrow if I can find the perfect therapist for you baby." He said, going back to his emotionless, business mode.

I nodded, because I figured there was no point arguing, or even saying anything against it, because I knew the emotional blackmail would start. The things I did for my brothers. Getting tired, I kicked Vince out of my room, only to find Max sitting on my bed, waiting for me to come back. God. My brothers just couldn't leave me, for even a goddamn minute.

"I just kicked out one brother, to find another, waiting for me." I sarcastically said.

Expertly ignoring my sarcasm, he told me, "Look, because of everything, we haven't been talking much, and so I figured this was a great time to catch up."

"Yeah well, I'm up for talking, as long as I don't receive any lectures." I smiled. "I can't promise that, because I know that as your elder brother, I will have to speak up, when things aren't right." He chuckled.

"We're twins." I deadpanned.

"I'm still older than you, even if it may only be by a few minutes." He laughed. 

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