Conflict of Interest

47: Internalized

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Showering last night had to be one of the best feelings in the world. The hot water had been like magic, cleansing me of everything from the past week. It's truly too bad it doesn't work on the mind. The bathroom had ended up being just around the corner from our hall and was divided into a men's and a women's section. After showering I had changed into a black t shirt, fresh underwear, clean socks, and a pair of grey sweats and headed straight to bed where I found Parker sitting waiting for me. We hadn't really talked much, both of us exhausted as we fell asleep cuddled up with one another. I had woken up first, comfortably situated with Parker spooning me from behind. As I shifted to turn and face her, her eyes fluttered open and met mine.

"Good morning." She mumbled out, her voice low and raspy

I smiled back "Good morning." 

"Anyone else awake yet?"

"Not that I've heard."

She smirked and looked up at me "Maybe we could finally have some passionate reunion sex?"

I rolled my eyes "I think now might not be the best time."

"Damn, could've been hot." She mumbled out

A knock at the door caused both of us to jump as it swung open revealing Colton whose face went pale.

"What the-" he started to say before freezing a second and then back tracking and closing the door

I sprung up and Parker let out a groan as I accidentally elbowed her in the process.

"Ow!" She exclaimed causing me to shush her

She held her hands up "Why are you shushing me after you just elbowed me!"

"I don't know I'm sorry." I mumbled out as I headed straight god the door and walked out to the hall finding not a soul in sight

I went over to his door and knocked before opening it and walking in to find it empty.

Where the hell did he even go?

I went back to my room and got Parker up before we made a pit stop at the bathroom and then headed downstairs to hopefully figure out where Colton had gone.

"He's probably just walking it off. I mean, I don't even get why you're so worried. It's not like we were fucking or something." Parker shrugged

I glared over at her "He just looked upset okay?"

"All I'm saying is I think we have bigger issues that your brothers internalized homophobia." Parker grumbled

"He's not gay!" I exclaimed

She shrugged "You never know."

I let out an irritated sigh as I spotted Aaron and walked right over to him.

He spotted us and smiled "Good morning how are you this morning?"

"We're looking for my brother have you seen him?" I asked

He shook his head "No I haven't, but my best guess would be the dining hall, it's right down that hall."

He pointed across the room and I headed straight for it hearing Parker mutter a thank you before following after me.

"God you're in a mood today." She grumbled as we started down the hall

I stopped dead in my tracks turning to face her "Can you please stop being so insensitive for five seconds?"

Without even waiting for her response I turned and continued down the hall. I followed it left and then came upon a room with rows of tables and a serving station. I spotted him sitting with my mom and Luna and instantly went over, Colton the only one not to look up as he continued to eat his eggs.

"Good morning." I smiled to them

"Good morning." My mom and Luna smiled

My mom glared at Colton and elbowed him "Say hello to your sister."

He rolled his eyes glaring up at me "Morning."

He went back to eating and my mom gave him a look as Luna spoke up "So when are we having the debriefing or whatever you wanna call it?"

"Probably right after breakfast." Parker nodded to her

My mom looked over "I don't believe we were properly introduced yesterday, I'm Harpers mom but you can call me Lucy."

She extended her hand out and Parker took it shaking it "Parker West."

My mom's eyes went wide as she looked over at me and then back to Parker "As in CEO of the West Company?"

Colton looked up at her, a strange look in his eyes before he looked back down.

"Well, what's left of it at least." Parker laughed, the rest of us giving her a strange look "Sorry that was funnier in my head."

Damn is she having a stroke right now I've never seen her this frazzled.

Trying to break the awkward silence Parker turned to Luna "Its good to see you again Luna."

"You as well." Luna nodded causing Colton to glare at her

Unable to bear another second of the tension I spoke up "Alright we're gonna go grab something to eat."

I grabbed Parker by her wrist and dragged her into line, my mom turning and giving us a strange look as we went.

"What the fuck was that?" I asked dropping her wrist

She shrugged and rolled her eyes before looking at the ground "Look I'm a little out of my depths here okay?"

"We all are." I countered

She looked up "No, I mean like with your family. It's just overwhelming and I really want them to like me but obviously this is like the worst way possible for them to meet me."

"I mean understandable but I really need you to try and pull it together. It's bad enough that Colton saw us, well, you know. I mean the last thing we need is my mom finding out." I mumbled out

She paused looking me over "Wait a minute, you're scared for your mom to know about us?"

"No, not exactly." I replied, my heart racing as she looked back at me

Her eyes narrowed "So what exactly is it then? Do they not know you're gay?"

I froze and but my lip, looking down at my feet that I awkwardly shuffled.

"Harper do they really not know?" She asked again

I let out a shaky breathe "No Parker, they don't know okay?"

She fell silent as we got up to the serving station, my hands shaky as I grabbed a plate.

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