𝐏𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐚'𝐬 𝐁𝐨𝐱

𝟏𝟒 | 𝐎𝐜𝐭𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐚

Pulling my knees up, I rest my pounding head on my arms sobbing even harder.
I cover my mouth so no one hears. It felt as if the ground beneath me had vanished, leaving me suspended in a world where trust meant nothing. In my naivety, I had believed, foolishly, that I held a special place in his heart, that behind closed doors, away from the gaze of the cruel mafia world, we had something real. But the bitter taste of his lips on hers obliterated all my illusions, leaving only devastation in its wake.

I find myself consumed by a whirlwind of emotions. Anguish, resentment, and a profound sense of loss became my constant companions. I questioned the veracity of every word, every gesture of affection he had ever bestowed upon me.

A soft knock brings my head up as Rosa slowly enters my room. She sits on my bed smiling wearily. I look at her and wipe my tears. "No point in hiding your face says it all." She says moving my hair back.

Pulling me in for a hug, I wrap my arms around her sobbing on her shoulder.
"I thought we were getting better." I force out. My head was throbbing from all the crying that my veins could pop at any moment.
"Fuck Xavier. He is still childish, they all are a bunch of children." I pause looking at her. Literally my tears stopped as i faced her blankly. "You're not going to excuse him and convince me to forgive him?" I ask her bewildered from her response. We had been married for years, playing the roles of loving husband and wife in public while running the dark empire behind closed doors. Our lives were entwined in the dangerous world of the mafia, and our marriage was merely a strategic move to strengthen alliances and maintain power.

"Thats what he wanted me to do. I've spent enough time to read you. A person as soft hearted like you always know whats best. No matter how much the worlds crashed onto you, the peace inside you beats the anger not everyone can shake off. Your endless love for your close ones is why people love you so easily. You provide Xavier the feeling of home he needed in this cruel world. And I can bet you've been trying to silence your crying to not disturb others." She lifts and eyebrow looking at my wet sleeves.

I sniffle while my red eyes burned from the blinking.
The heavy weight on my chest lifted slowly while she held my hand giving it a squeeze.
"Forgiveness come attached to your big heart. You cannot bare holding a grudge even to those who hurt you so much. You've felt pain and wouldn't wish it on anyone else because sweetheart you love him. So no i wont persuade you to forgive him because your heart will when it wants to." She tells me nodding.
Her fingers touch my face delicately wiping the tears. Xavier's eyes never lied to me at all. He never was in love with me infact it was the bright spark of my own eyes that reflected on his. Once again I am a fool for love.

"I'm so mad but my minds been occupied with all the stress this whole Astor-Hughes crap. I feel like killing Blair." I express aggressively. My eyes widen from my choice of words. Slapping my mouth to my lips I hide my smile while Rosa grins. "I can always trot down to england and yank Blair by her greasy hair so we can torture her in a random basement." She suggests shrugging her shoulders.

I roll my eyes smiling. "I see the omen's violence rubbed onto you." I say rasing my eyebrows.
"Or maybe they learnt from me. What you surprised a woman can be dangerous?" Shaking my head I curve my lips then sigh.
"Am I stupid for still loving him?" I ask wanting an honest answer.

"You cant stop yourself from loving someone overnight. For now be civil with him or don't this game goes by your rules." She tells me holding my face. Her words were reassuring and relaxing. It calmed me down easily that my headache hurt less.

Sudden waves of tiredness washes over me. I yawn deeply opening my mouth wide open.
"Don't sleep yet you gotta pack and all." Rosa tells me laying next to me. She flips to her side placing her hand on her hips.
"Why am I packing?" I ask her.
"We're going home in 5 hours. That short nap will make your headache worse." She tells me fluttering her eyelashes.