Sinfully Imperfect

59. Solace & A Soul So Beautiful

The couple sat huddled close to each other. Their hands clasped together as the flow of support and assurance ran through his veins. Aylwin sighed, ready to let go of the remnants that somehow still crushed him each growing day.

"After dad's death, it'd been a few months when Ma had a cardiac arrest. The strong woman I'd come to adore seemed too fragile and weak. We did know mom wasn't herself since dad..." A heart-crushing pause intervened. The latter was thrown into a dilemma: what more had this young man suffered in his life? "She was admitted to the hospital for weeks. Later, we came to know, she was drugged, leaving her... paralyzed..."

His eyes gazed into the void. A void of shaking memories. Nightmares that were unduly and disastrous. "Almer had joined his duty as a cop. Tasha was pregnant with Archer. And Alana was heartbroken. I guess... that's when I-I completely lost it. We had hospital bills, school fees, and miscellaneous expenses to pay. Somewhere... I-I blamed myself for this... all of this. Cuz, if dad would be with us, we would be better and... happier." The tone was reduced to mere whispers. Hushed huskiness, brimming with hollowness of heart.

"I was frustrated. I couldn't help them in anyway. Lost. With no meaning to life. That's when I accidentally stumbled across street racing." His voice defeated by a tinge of newborn fire lurking in the rims. "It offered me two things. Both of which the young Aylwin craved for. An escape and money. Without a second thought, I was in."

He leaned on the headrest. Eyes solemnly fixed on the ceiling. The dull, dark colors very much adding color to his despondent tales. "Almer didn't like what I did. I was caught a few times, and thanks to him being the cop, I made it out each time. He was tired of my bullshit. But, so was I." Frustration. Agitation. Anger. All flowed into the un-destined river of repentance.

"I'd never felt so lost and low." A cry of sighs trailed by. He rubbed his face with his palms. The hands were no longer clasping around her; instead, she had settled beside him. Laying on his chest, Sophronia watched the man of such tenderness break down delicately. Slowly-slowly. Her heart lurched. The churnings growled to lessen his pain. Alas, all she did was caress his cheeks, leaving a soft, feathery kiss as a message of his strength. 

Perhaps that was all he needed. To go. To proceed on many twisted paths. Walking on thorns and petals of illusions, he resumed, "It was one such night. I was drunk and driving with my fellow racers. That night, our car crashed into another. Unfortunately, we made it. But the couple in the car didn't." A gasp. A horrified gasp left her mouth. For the first few seconds, the words rang in her mind. She was flummoxed. Hoping she must have misheard. However, seeing the misty drops of shame and guilt glistening in his eyes, she sat frozen.

"Christ, fuck! This is so tough! God, I'm so sorry! I'm..." He couldn't speak. Aylwin's throat felt clogged up. Never had he ever talked about this with anyone. The feeling of pain and grief had his body burning in hellish fire. The shame and guilt had eaten him alive to such an extent that he couldn't even bear to look Sophronia in the eyes. The fear of what he had done till date haunted him. He felt cursed all over again.

Only he knew this was just beginning. The real havoc was yet to come.

With a chill-giving chuckle, he said, "And, y'know, the interesting thing?"

The hazel-eyed beauty was shocked, to say the least. The swift change of demeanor wasn't something she expected. The sinister amusement of those mazarine eyes haunted her. Sophronia couldn't help the self doubt. Was she even ready for this?

Before she could answer, the mega-bomb was dropped. Staring straight into her eyes, he whispered his sin, "The couple was Austin's parents."

...