"What's depression like?" He asked.

In my perfect world.

All of my life, I never felt like I fitted in. I don't mean fitting in as in the fact that I didn't have friends or felt different, because I did have friends and I simply was different.

I never felt like I fitted into society. Why? Because I didn't want to. And I still don't want to.

This society, the whole thing we created here in America and other places, is the most messed up thing you could imagine. It has for as long as I can remember been fuel to my depression.

We live in a time where things are supposed to be modern. Greater than ever. Yet, homosexuals are being spit at, mental disorders are being called a lie, girls starve themselves to look like Victoria Secret angels, most kids have never read a book and you can't do anything without being judged.

I have always been judged. Wherever I went people had something to say about my hair, my clothes, the way I acted, my scars, the fact I was too afraid to publically speak or do any kind of presentation. My depression was "just sadness" and my anxiety was "me being a sissy".

It's not some kind of miracle that so many teenagers these days feel sad. The internet is a source of darkness. Depression, self-harm, suicide, it's all been made romantic. Like a fairy tale. Like it's brave to kill yourself. Like it's normal and exciting to take a blade/cigarette/knife to your skin. That it's a trend to be so thin you can see your bones, to a point where it's just scary.

We've created something that isn't real. Something toxic. A place where mental disorders are not only a lie, they're a myth. Something cool. Something that everyone has or should have. There's no such thing as being happy. Happy is boring.

Yet, when you're actually in a place that you shouldn't be, there's nobody there to help you. If you ask for professional help, you're crazy. Sometimes you even have to convince the people around you that DEPRESSION IS A REAL THING.

There's so many things I wish I could change. I wish I could change the perfect body image. The view that exists on mental disorders. The taboo that it is. I wish I could change people's minds on homosexuality. That everybody could just be accepted exactly for who they are. No matter who they love, what they look like, what they believe in.

In my perfect world, the Catholic church and homosexuals would go hand in hand. They would be able to marry, give blood and adopt kids without problems.

In my perfect world, young girls and boys wouldn't starve themselves because they feel ugly, even though they are perfect just the way they are.

In my perfect world, the moment you feel something is wrong your head, you go to your parents and seek help, without being scared of being judged.

In my perfect world, nobody gets bullied for being different. For being who they are. For rather reading books than going out. For having fuzzy hair or a darker skin.

In my perfect world there's nothing romantic about suicide or self-harm. Young kids don't get the idea that you have to be sad to be interesting. That you have to hurt yourself to have people pay attention to you.

In my perfect world I wouldn't have to write this chapter, because it frustrates me and it makes me more than sad to realize that all of the things I would like to see changed, won't change.

I'm not normal. And I'm not ashamed of that. I wouldn't want to be a kind of person that fits into this society, because it's a society that I dislike more than anything.

I just hope that one day, things get better. Maybe not perfect - if perfect even exists - but better.

Better for my children and all of your children. So that we don't have to be afraid that our children turn into us. Teens, reading sad stories on the internet, watching sad pictures and knowing that suicide and self-harm are not even uncommon things anymore.

That's all I wish for.

- Kyran