"What's depression like?" He asked.

Hello again

Well... it has been a while. I never meant for things to take so long, for me to stay absent for so long, but a lot has been happening in my life. 

Since this book has been about my mental health journey, that is the thing I would like to update you all on. 

Things haven't been easy the past months, which is why I decided to go MIA on Wattpad, as well as my other social media channels. Things have been going up and down, and I realized that for me to be able to get better I had to solemnly focus on that. Which is what I did. I focused on my mental health journey, specifically my journey to get as best as I could be. 

I have accepted the fact that I will never be completely okay. It used to be my goal, to be completely okay, to be completely healthy, mentally and physically. It's something that is not for me, and that is okay, I have realized.

I have realized that I wouldn't be Kyran without all of my mental flaws. Without my depression, without my PTSD, without my trauma's, ups and downs, anxiety, and everything else. It wouldn't be me. Having those disorders is not always a bad thing, I guess. It has made me a creative human, someone able to help others, someone able to support those going through the same or similar things. 

So what has happened in past few months? 

I have continued to follow therapy, which has been helping me a lot. I have discovered a lot of things about myself, about my fears, angers, trauma's and a lot more. I am continuing to better myself, in order to try to make the best of things. I have realized that this isn't something that I can fix in a couple of days, weeks, months. It will take years for me to be at peace with how my childhood went. 

I am still living with Alex, which is going greatly. He supports me in everything, as do all my friends. I don't know what I'd do without them. They make me be okay with the idea of not having parents, of any biological family in general. They are there for me, the greatest substitutes ever. Whenever I have nightmares at night and he hears me yelling he will come and try to wake me up, have a cup of tea with me, make me feel alright. It's a special kind of situation. 

I am very sorry for the fact that I have been gone for so long. Haven't replied to your messages, haven't been able to help you, but eventually the only person that can help you is you. You and those people that you allow to help you. It is incredibly important for all of you to realize that. Put your own mental health, physical health, and happiness first. 

I hope all of you are doing okay. I will speak to you next time. 

- Kyran