There's Always A Reason (Niall Horan)

Twenty Six: Just Us

Niall's P.O.V.

-6 Months Later-

"I remember that day like it was yesterday. I remember the sound of Liam's soft cries from next to me and I remember the sound of he sirens on the ambulance as it drove away with a still Lana in its back. I remember the drive to the hospital and looking around and seeing people mourning for the deaths of their loved ones. And I remember running. Just running. I ran for what seemed like years through the halls and down the longest corridors I could find. I ran until Liam called me with the news." I whisper mostly to myself. Mostly just remembering like I do mostly every other day of my existence.

I spend most of my time replaying everything that happened in that day in my head. I think of all the things I could have done to stop it or prevent it. I throw myself back into my story.

"I remember his voice, laced with quiet worry and the sound of unshed tears and I remember running my hands through my hair and just sitting down in the middle of the floor and crying my eyes out. That was the worst day of my life and it will always will be." I said slightly more into the sweaty microphone in my hand. 

The entire crowd was silent. The thousands of teenage girls that are usually uncontrollably loud were all completely silent for once. I look around at the few that were closest to me and they all had tears in their eyes and were innocently looking up at me. They all looked so small and I wish I didn't hate them for what they did to her. 

This isn't the first time I've told this story and it won't be the last. I throw myself back into it once more. Mustering up what little strength I have left on the subject. 

"I also remember wiping away the tears that just kept coming and pushing myself off the middle of that hospital floor and running some more. Running back to all of them. All of the people that loved her. As soon as I reached them I knew, and it hit me even harder then before when I was alone. It hit me harder because there were so many people squished into that small hospital room waiting for someone to say something. I remember the smell of the hot cup of tea that Harry handed me and the taste of my own tears in my mouth. And only two words rang through my mind: "She's gone. She's gone. She's gone.." 

I could see them all around me. I could see each and everyone one of our fans gathered together in small sections in small group hugs. Each and every one of them have tears streaming down their faces and I'm glad. I'm glad they are feeling what I felt that day. 

I slowly walked across the very edge of the stage that I stood on a little less than a year ago when I found Lana in the front row. This was our second time playing Madison Square Garden and it felt like my natural habitat now. Each of the other boys started to say something. 

"Lana was my best friend and as you guys know I don't have a lot of those. Just these four... And I love you all of course but to know that you did something like that too her made me furious. We would never leave you of course but please just don't. Don't hate on our girlfriends or our friends or family. They all have feelings too." Liam said into his microphone, sitting down with his feet hung over the edge of the stage. 

I joined him slowly as Harry began his speech. "I hate seeing Niall cry. You all know that. And to see him so broken that day made me want to hide him from the world in a secret place and never bring him out again. Lana had something of mine that no one else did and that would be my entire iTunes library. I do not share my music with anyone unless they mean a lot to me. Lana meant so much to me. We used to stay up on nights when we couldn't sleep and just talk for hours about anything no matter  how stupid or serious it was..." Harry murmurs, smiling a bit and his memory, and ducking his head down.