Brielle
"I was thinking about giving you something you always wanted ." I said to Chris
Chris and I went on a walk with X with the kids, we lived in a good community so we ain't care if anybody saw us . We threwu on some sweats and bummed it, his arm around my neck while I had my arm wrapped around his side . Mijo was holding the leash, everyday we go out for a walk with X it's one persons turn to hold the leash . Ava was not having it though .
"Stop it, you not doing it right . I want a turn ."
All the boys were mocking her cause they all know today isn't her day to walk X, they knew it would piss her off more .
"Gimme him ! I want him now ."
"Ava, you know it's not your turn baby ."
She started to whine "Tell'em stop it daddy !"
'Wait till we get home to see him, nothing going to change from the time we get back ."
She started throwing a tantrum jumping up and down crying "See what you created ?" I said to Chris
He picked her up and place her over his shoulder craddling her as we continued the walk, she was cranky and tired so she laid her head on her shoulder and was beginning to fall asleep .
"Now, what exactly is that ?" Chris questioned getting back to the conversation
"You going to do promos soon and I'm going to be alone like always, I can't be leaving like how we been when we have 4 kids . They should be able to have at least one of us full time when your gone, I been thinking that instead I be the one who takes off full time . I want to be home now, 24/7 . I'm ready to be a lame ass housewife, eww I hate that word ."
"Who going to take care of the studio ?"
"I'm still going to manage it but I won't be there as much, I'll pop in and out but I'm ready to be home full time . I don't have anything much to do, I want to be with them now and I want to be with you too ."
"Don't give up your dream for me, you worked your ass off for his studio babe . I don't want you giving up dancing yet ."
"You are my dream, I'm not giving it up like that . I'm saying babe, I'm ready to be home ."
"Don't throw it away just yet, think about it for a while ."
"I don't understand, we talked about this I thought you would be happy ?"
"You too young to be staying at home, it is what I wanted . I wanted to be the one providing for you and Mijo at the time, but you built up a name for yourself . Use it, don't let it go . I tried to stop you before, now I'm telling you to do what you want till it's really time to call it a quit ."
I don't understand, Chris was always saying I don't want you working . No girl of mine should have to work when her man out there getting bread, stay home and let me take care of you . After damn near three years you change your mind after I take it into deep consideration ? I'm not giving my life up, I want to be with my kids and my man more that's it .
"Why you trying to cop an attitude with me, I telling you what I think ?"
"I don't have an attitude Chris, you was so gong ho on this before . I thought about this shit a lot, now you telling me a different story ."
"Before this shit ruins the good days we had to ourselves listen, I love anything you do . It's always been my idea to take care of you, I don't give a damn if you never work a day in your life anymore and I don't care if you work till you die . I have a change of heart because I know you love what you do, you got plenty of time to be a stay at home wife right now I think it's best you stay bringing the butter to the table that's all I'm sayin' ."
He made it sound like I'm throwing away my life, to do something I would never want to do . I fought hard to get him to realize I don't want to be a housewife . Always when I'm ready to give in, he changes his mind telling me to do the opposite . I'm not throwing what I work for away, I'm not thinking about myself I'm thinking about our kids . I want to watch them grow right now, they only stay young for so long . I see what he's saying, I did work hard to get this studio and be somebody other than Chris Brown's baby momma .
"I have something to tell you too though ."
"What did you do ?"
"I was thinking that we should get married, again ."
I smiled "Really ?"
"Yeah, I was thinking we should renew our vows . Maybe every year we should do it and make it a tradition, besides the twins didn't get to be there for mommy and daddy's wedding ."
"What was wrong with the first ?"
"Nothing ."
"What would make you think of this ?"
"You don't want to do it or something ?"
"I want to see where your head at, I love the idea ."
"Your pops didn't like me for the longest, we had just gotten over that Jasmine and Janae shit, both of us was stressing over whatever Caeden was going to make it through the pregnancy, and you was crying because you had lost Kataleah . Everything leading up to the wedding was bullshit, I didn't feel like the wedding emotionally wasn't what it should've been ."
"Chris, it might have been a hard time but everything changed when I said I Do . Nothing mattered to me anymore because I was with who I wanted and my sons got to see through the bullshit that mommy and daddy really love each other and can make it through anything . If you think having a wedding is going to put smile on my face, then set the date ."
Another wedding ? A thought from Christopher Maurice Brown ? My husband wants to renew our vows ? Who the hell is this man talking to me ? I'm surprised something like that came from Chris, I think it's a sweet idea . Standing in front of each other all over again, telling one another how we can't function with each other in our lives and how we'll always be there for each other through whatever . I like the idea of my the twins getting to see this .
When we got home Chris took Ava to potty then laid her back down for the nap she needed, everybody went to go to do their own thing while I made all my babies dinner . I thought I make everybody's favorite again, when it was time to eat I got Ava up and everybody sat at the table . Looking at things like this makes me want to be home even more, especially that damn kitchen scenario that was a damn shame . Who else is going to keep everybody together ?
When Chris and I went out for a walk he was fine and seemed wide awake, till after dinner he was sitting on the couch with Mijo and he was slumped over not listening to anything he was saying .
"Daddy, nana gave me this new hot wheels toy . The car goes really fast, wanna play with me ? - - - Daddy, daddy, DADDY !"
"What man ?" he said waking up
"I was talking to you ."
"Go head, I'm listening ."
"This car fits in my collection, I need another for it to be done . It goes really fast, I said - - Daddy, daddy, DADDY !" Mijo yelled hitting his face
"I'm listening with my eyes closed, go head man ."
"Grandma gave me the car I wanted, I wanted you to - - Daddy !"
Mijo gave up trying to get Chris's attention, he curled up next to him and watched t.v eventually falling asleep in Chris's arms . I know damn well, weed don't make you that damn tired . I smoked enough to know, even if you are that damn tired you can't take 5 damn minutes to listen to what your son got to say ?
