Julianna Catching Fire

Chapter Thirty-Four

Chapter Thirty-Four

"I'm sorry," I apologized, setting down my coffee mug.

"For?" Alex asked as he piled eggs onto his fork.

"I overreacted," I explained. "I freaked out. It wasn't all that serious."

"Agreed."

I shot him a look.

"I understand where you were coming from," he said quickly, "I do. But you did overreact."

"You just don't understand the caliber of the situation."

"You're right, I don't. And I'm not sure if I ever will."

"Which is why you should have listened to me."

"Why?"

"What do you mean, why?"

"It's not like you were doing too hot on your own."

"There's always more to the story than what you see yourself."

"Then tell me what goes on behind closed doors."

I shot him a look. "Don't be an ass."

"No one's being an ass. For once, I just need you to be completely honest about this situation."

"How much more honest can I get? You know pretty much every stinking thing. Besides, what is the point of me telling you everything that happened play-by-play?"

"Why can't you?"

"Why would I? It's painful enough as it is to just barely think about it, let alone discuss it."

"And it's not exactly fun to hear you talk about it either."

"Then what's the point if it's hurting the both of us?"

"You need to acknowledge this Julianna, sweeping this under the rug in an attempt to ignore it won't make it any better!"

"Well what do you want me to do?"

"Talk about it, get it off your chest, say how it makes you feel, anything!"

"It makes me feel like crap, okay?! I don't understand why it had to be me. I want to know why I let him control me and take advantage of me. Why couldn't I respect myself? Why did I let him define me? Why wasn't I strong enough? Why am I not strong enough?"

He pulled me into a hug and gave me a quick peck on the cheek. "You are strong enough, because you got through this and you're taking it day by day."

"I just want all this to be behind me."

"I'm sorry. I know this isn't easy for you, at all. But you can't keep it bottled up forever."

After a few minutes of silence I mumbled another apology.

"It's okay," he said. "But there's something I'm still thinking about...."

"What?"

"Who do you think that anonymous person is?"

"What anonymous person?"

"The anonymous person who paid for the Senior Beach Trip."

I rolled my eyes. "Ha-ha."

"That was really nice of you, you know."

"Why does everyone keep saying that?"

"Because it's true, duh."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah."

"I'm serious."

"Whatever. Are you a chaperone?"