You Left Me

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I've been walking now for almost 5 hours. It's raining and so cold but I didn't care because I feel numb. The tears that fall on my face continues as I walk.

I'm so tired but I doesn't want to comeback because I know If I comeback everyone is going to yell at me again. It hurts because even my mom and dad got upset with me.

I don't really know what happen? What's the reason? Even Niall is mad at me. It's been few hours since the argue with Niall.

My body is so wet from rain. I want to end this life because I can't do this anymore. I'm so tired for even trying to be happy.

I saw a tree and came there. I stand and punch the tree for many times. Many blood came out from my poor hand. I continue to do it until I slide down and sat there.

I cried and cried and cried. After few minutes, I stood up and once again I'm back from walking. I didn't feel pain on my hands as the blood continue to flow.

I've done so hard trying to hide the pain inside my heart. I can't take this anymore. The more I smile outside, The more the pain I feel inisde.

No one knew and No one cares. I just I don't know how I will feel starting this day. I wanted to be strong but I've been fighting for so long. I'm starting to feel weak.

Until, I felt someone's wrist stopping me from walking. I wanted to run but I can't do it anymore. I guess I'm so tired to run away because I know he'll just continue following me.

I didn't turn to look at him because I'm scared the if I look at him, I'll just hurt him just like what people say.

Niall turned me around, So now I am facing him. I didn't look on his eyes instead I look at the ground. "Why are you running away from me?" He asked.

I didn't answer his question so he asked again "Why are you running away from me?"

"I-I don't know." I said then looking to my hands who has full of blood. Niall didn't notice so I hide it at the back.

He then reach for my two hands and ask "Tell me what's happening to you?"

"I....You.... I'm.... You Left me Niall. Because you know why? Starting the day you had your girlfriend, you started ignoring me. Even my mom, dad and friends started ignoring me the day you ignored me. I don't know why? Because All I know is I'm tired of this. If you would ask why? Because I'm tired hiding the truth Niall. I can't.. Ahhh."

"What? I don't understand." He said with a confused look.

"You don't understand because you're not the one who's feeling it. You're not the one who's suffering. I'm so tired to see you smile, laugh when (H/GF/N) is around with you. Because I should be the one who can make you happy. But I guess I'm no longer that. I promise you after this day I'll leave all of you peaceful and happy because I'm going anywhere where there is a bright light. The bright light is waiting for me I guess. See what everything means?" I said.

"What are you trying to say?" He asked again.

"Why can't you see that I LOVE YOU NIALL. Are you happy now huh? Are you guys all happy now huh? I should leave then because I can feel that I'm just making mess on everybody." I yelled and stared crying once again.

The rain stop and silence surrounds the two of us. Niall doesn't know what to say but all he did was hugged me tightly and kissed my forehead.

"Please stop now Princess. I don't want you to cry anymore. I'm sorry because I fucking just realized it right now. I didn't know that you felt that. I'm sorry if you think everyone hates you because the truth is we don't hate you. Just please stop doing this to you Princess. I'm not okay when I'm seeing you this. Please stop now. I love you okay?" He said.

For the very first time he said "I love you" to me. But I didn't feel happy. My head started to ache and my hands hurts even more. That's when Niall held my hand but I flinch.

So, He looked down and saw blood still coming out. "What the hell did you do (Y/N)? Are you okay? How did this happen?" He asked

I didn't get a chance to say something because I passout.
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Niall's POV
(Y/N) passed out so I went to the nearest hospital. I'm crying. I know (Y/N) would wake up. She's strong.

(Y/N) is already in the emergency room. I decided to call her parents and (Y/B/F/N). They said they would come.

I remember earlier when I looked into her eyes, I could see the pain and everything. I felt idiot because I'm terrible bestfriend.

The reason why I got girlfriend because I want my feelings for her to get away. I didn't know she loves me. When I saw the blood on her hands I wanted to punch myself.

Why I'm not there when my bestfriend is feeling down. I left her. I'm terrible. I came out side and punch the wall. Why didn't I realize this sooner. Fuck.
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Fews hours had past but (Y/N) is not yet waking up or moving. The doctor said she's fine but she lost a lot of blood from her hand.

(Y/N)'s parents went to eat breakfast. I decided to stay beside her until she wakes up. I held her hand tightly and kiss the back of it.

Until, She held back. I look to see if she's awake. Yes, she's awake. I don't know what to do but I aksed her "Do you want anything? Do you-" "Shhhh you're talking to much now Niall." She said.

"Did you sleep? Eat?" She asked. I shook my head and said "I wait until you woke up because I don't want you to be alone again."

I look down and she said "Look at me." I obeyed and look at her. "Eat something then sleep here beside me. You need some rest."

"Okay"

After I ate, I sat beside her and said "Look (Y/N) I'm really sorry for everything. Me and my girlfriend broke up few months ago. I promise. I'm really really sorry. I love you okay."

"You were forgiven a long time ago Niall. I love you too idiot!" She kissed me on the cheek.

Starting that day, I always asure (Y/N) is always beside me. And I'm always there to take care her. After she went out from hospital, I asked her to be my girlfriend.

Thankfully she said yes. I'm really happy that (Y/N) is finally mine. I love her so much.

( A / N ) :
Hey sunshines! It's already March 31 2016. I decided to update because I'm so bored.

Also, I updated my username from "5stypayhorlikson" to "slurpeenjh" and I also updated my cover! YAY

I hope you're doing alright! Have a great day <3

Always remember you are valid, loved and important! Drink your water and stay safe! 🤍

All the Love, E.

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