Our Secret (Austin Mahone Fanfiction)

Part 19

- Madison’s point of view -

I woke up completely exhausted. There wasn’t an ounce of my body that wasn’t suffering from the lack of sleep I hadn’t gotten last night. All I could clearly remember was crying and crying a lot.

Austin’s arm was securely wrapped around my stomach making sure that I wouldn’t leave or for the least, that he’d wake up if I did so. I couldn’t understand what he told me though, it repeated itself in my head about twenty times but still, I was lost.

"I’m falling."

I didn’t pay too much attention to it first because I didn’t understand but now, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. There were many possibilities to what it could’ve meant and one of them being what I dreaded. I couldn’t have led him on, not in these circumstances.

My eyes were heavy and they burnt to an extent that couldn’t even be described. Now don’t ask me what time I came home or what time I went to bed because I couldn’t even begin to tell you. All I know is that I woke up and that I’m tired as hell.

I wanted to take a shower because I felt disgusting. I was still wearing those skanky black shorts that I despised so much and there was literally nothing more that I wanted to do than to take them off.

I brought my hand up to my face and rubbed it up and down a couple times to try and hide the fatigue away, if that even worked at all.

Slipping away from his grip, I strutted over to the bathroom where I turned on the tap and began to let the hot water fall. Within a second, I stepped inside and my muscles slightly relaxed.

Key word: slightly.

I don’t know what’s gotten into me but something’s wrong. Something doesn’t feel right and I can’t put my finger on it no matter how hard I try. I don’t know if it’s about Emma or Cameron or Robert or even Austin, I have no idea. All I know is that I don’t feel good, I don’t feel okay.

The water dripped off of my hair along with the shampoo that I had just layered upon it a few seconds prior. My shower time was coming to an end, that’s what it meant. Taking in one last breath before letting it out, I reached for the tap and turned it off.

Stepping out into the cold air, I searched through the cupboards finding a towel that would gladly do the job of covering me up not to mention dry all the water away.

Fluently, I wrapped it around my body and it’s then when I looked at myself in the mirror for the first time. Whoever the person was looking back, it wasn’t me. It wasn’t someone I recognized to say the least.

What stood there was lifeless and dull. It was tired and exhausted. It screamed in pain but was lost beneath it all. Even though she thought it was all gone, it wasn’t. Something had clicked, something she couldn’t make out. The weary eyes staring back at the reflection had nothing to them: gray. No shine, no twinkle, nothing. The body though, it was still intact as ever, it stood strong but not for long.

Breaking eye contact with myself, I shook my head and looked at the ground seeing my feet that were holding everything up. I still couldn’t understand how I was standing after all this time, after everything I ever went through and I was still up and running. It didn’t make any sense.

Shaking the thought away once more, they started moving closer and closer to the door until they reached the hallway all the way down to that one room I had been in so many times before. I peered into it seeing that Austin was on his phone as usual.

I probably woke him up, my mind pressed.

Stepping inside, I closed the door shut while my eyes fell upon that boy in whom I had all trust "Can I borrow some clothes?" I monotonously asked.