Our Secret (Austin Mahone Fanfiction)

Part 26

- Austin's point of view -

When I woke up this morning, I was alone for one of the rare times. Madison absolutely insisted on going back home yesterday saying that she didn't feel well and of course I didn't question it thinking that she just needed time to herself.

Funny thing was, I woke up way too early; it was 6am. I just couldn't sleep anymore.

Getting out of bed, I took a quick shower and got dressed in a pair of black joggers along with a black t-shirt and my black sweater that had Trukfit written on it in white. I topped it off with something different: a beanie. It was red and had "Vancity" written on it in white letters with a bit of black contour. I decided on doing something different considering I always wore snapback I mean, once in a while change was good right?

I paced back and forth wondering what to do because I sure wasn't going to stay inside all day considering my day had already started and it was barely seven in the morning.

So taking my keys off of the table, I hopped into my car and headed off to the one place I truly loved, the one place I hadn't been in a while, the one place that made everything better: the beach.

What made it even greater was the fact that no one would be there considering it was so early not to mention it wasn't the hottest out either and being by the water, the air would be a smidge cooler.

Arriving there, I parked my beloved car to the side while I started making my way to the sand. Just as I predicted, the surroundings were cool but nothing I couldn't handle. I looked out in the distance admiring the vast water that stood before my eyes, the waves lightly washing up on shore.

Calming, relaxing, serene; everything I craved for.

I could see out far the flops on top of the water just letting me to assume that fishes were feeding on their morning breakfast, if I could put it that way. Some birds were already up and running as the sun slowly rose making a grand entrance on its way in.

I smiled to myself loving every second of this and the best part? I was the only one here. No one to bother me, no one to disturb me; just me, myself and I.

My hands were dug into the bottom of my pockets as I walked the shore line from one end of the beach to the other.

I wondered why life couldn't be like this: problem free. Everything always seemed in its place and basically it went on every other day as the previous one. Sure, some problems occurred but never have animals made things more complicated than what they initially were.

But that's exactly where the difference lays between humans and animals: we have feelings. Animals do to but not to the extent that us human have and that's basically what ruins us. We have the conscious to analyze and over think things all the time and we end up creating ourselves problems that don't even exist in the first place. We care too much and have a hard time moving on while animals, they simply live their life.

No one bothers them but us; we get bothered every single day. We have this humongous box of feelings and emotions that every once in a while gets shaken up until it explodes.

There's no limit.

We get pushed around, hurt, humiliated, stepped on and no one gives a damn about anyone else. We live in this self centered world where everyone is selfish and doesn't care about anyone else's good except theirs. It's sickening.

I try to stay away from all of it but when every single person in your entourage does it not to mention society in general, it's hard to stay away because you get sucked in pretty badly. I try to remind myself everyday to do the right things and do everything in my power to not fall in that trap but I miserably fail and sometimes I just can't control it.

Bringing my attention back to reality, I realized that I was coming to a dead end and that I had to return on my steps back the other way.

The sun had now made its full way into the atmosphere while I took it all in, heating me up in the process.

"Remember to always stay true to yourself"

That was a saying my grandma used to tell me all the time. She used to tell me it so many times that now, there's no way I can forget it. It was something I took to heart because I knew that sometimes, certain people or things could change who you are and I had always been raised to stay humble, my feet to the ground. And from that day forward, I always promised myself to keep that promise; to stay true.

Reaching back the parking lot, I let out a sigh knowing that the calm I had build within the pass half hour or so would suddenly disappear in a blink of an eye.

Every good thing has to come to an end eventually, right?

Revving up the engine, I rolled down the road not really knowing what to do next because I didn't want to go home. I soon passed by my house and slowly drove in front of Madison's having this sudden urge to see her. I didn't want to do anything though, I simply wanted to see her.

She had left me on a bad note yesterday, if I could put it that way, and now all I wanted to do was hold her, hear her voice and see that precious smile of hers. She was literally everything I ever wanted.

Just as I drove up to her house, I happened to catch a glimpse of someone sitting on the front steps. The closer I got, the more familiar the figure got and sure it enough, it was her.

A sense of relief passed through me as I parked my car across the street locking it up before walking up to her. Something wasn't right though, I could literally see it. She was sitting there in a pair of black leggings with one of my over sized gray hoodies on, the hood on her head slightly hiding her face.

It reminded me of that time I was randomly walking down the street and she was sitting on her steps early in the morning before school; when she finally spoke to me. But this time, the predicament was a little different than the previous time.

She was looking at the ground, her face free from any expression. I sat down beside her placing my hand to her back not exactly sure how to start this.

Should I ask her what's wrong right off the bat? Or ask her why she's up this early? Or just start a conversation as if I hadn't notice nothing at all?

I figured that I would give her time to say something and if she wouldn't say anything then I would say something myself.

We sat there in silence as I watched her wipe her cheeks with the sleeves of her shirt letting me to assume that she was doing yet again the thing I hated the most. I brought my head to her shoulder resting it there wanting to let her know that she wasn't alone, I was there.

After a few more minutes of the same process, I decided that I needed to say something.

"What's wrong?" I quietly asked but didn't get any answer. To be honest, I was expecting it.

I gave her a couple more minutes in case she was trying to find her words but again, nothing.

I pulled my head away and brought my hand that was previously settled on her back to her free hand not even bothering on intertwining our fingers, I just kind of took hold of it the best I could even though it was hard considering it was tucked into the sleeve of her shirt.

Her hair was carelessly falling out of the hood only letting me see a small portion of her face. "Madison" I whispered trying to get her attention but it was no use. Instead, her eyes moved downwards and she didn't dare to look at me.

With my other fee hand, I reached out and caressed one of her cheeks making her immediately snap her head in my direction. The first thing I noticed was that she wasn't wearing any makeup and man was she beautiful. I loved seeing her natural look because it was something that she rarely wore. I once questioned her about it and all she told me was that she rather not go without it. Of course it made her look good and made her eyes stand out even more so but I liked the natural look on her, it suited her.

The other thing I noticed was that she looked tired, very tired. I couldn't tell whether it was because she hadn't slept or because she had shed a few tears.

Her gray eyes were boring into mine as I could almost feel her emotions. She bit down on her lips in a nervous matter and then this sudden urge came pulsing through me: I wanted to feel her. I stroke my thumb over her soft skin studying every small detail I loved before licking my lips not knowing if I should do it of not.

Maybe it isn't the right time, my mind pressed.

She was still looking at me though, her eyes not leaving mine for a second and then ever so slowly, I brought my face closer to hers unsure of my actions. I stopped in the middle of it and just thought for a second. Our faces were only inches apart and her eyes were now half way closed looking down to my lips and it's then when I knew that it was my hint to continue so doing exactly that, I leaned in completely and gently pressed my lips to her, letting them linger there. I don't even know if you could consider that as a kiss because in a way, it was more than that but in another, it wasn't even a kiss. Our lips kind of just rested one on top of the other not moving for a good five seconds until I slightly pulled back.

I rested my forehead on top of hers, my thumb still stroking her cheek. Her lips suddenly began to tremble as I felt a tear roll down my hand. I took in a breath trying to figure out what to do about this until she spoke up for the first time completely taking me by surprise.

"I love you, Austin." She whispered trying her best not to cry. I stayed there not saying anything trying to process the fact that she had said it back to me. Two weeks ago I had told her it but she never even bothered saying it back and it's then when I realized that she probably didn't feel the same but despise that, she still stayed with me.

A small smile made its way to me lips as this time for real, I felt happy; happier than ever before "I love you too." I whispered.

Tears then started pouring down her face even more so as I wrapped my arms around her neck pulling her tight to me, scooting over in the process. Her arms weakly went around my torso feeling her clutch onto the material of my shirt.

"Baby," I started "You gotta tell me why you're crying." She hid her head in between my neck and my shoulder just relaxing herself the best she could.

And while all of this was happening, I realized that she had been crying a lot these past few days, these past few weeks as a matter of fact. I wanted her to tell me what was going on, what she was feeling but she wouldn't and I had to respect that because I knew that I couldn't force it upon her. The best thing that I could possibly do was be there for her, comfort her whenever she needed me and that's exactly what I was doing at the moment.

"I should've told you before." I heard her whimper into my ear.

I shook my head "No. No, it's okay." I gently pulled away now bringing both my hands up to her face "Don't worry about it, it doesn't matter." Her eyes were red and puffy making me dread the fact that I had to see her this way. "How about we go inside?"

Madison nodded her head as I took hold of her hand, dragging her from behind right into her house. We made our way up the stairs right to her bedroom where I shut the door before embracing her in a tight hug, stroking her hair repetitively.

"I have something to show you," I stated trying to brighten up the mood. She pulled away looking at me with her shining eyes "Take a stand over there or sit down, whatever you feel like doing." I pointed while mentally cursing at myself not believing I was actually going to do this but it was worth a try right? Anything to make her happy.

Once she settled herself on the edge of the bed, I brushed myself off counting to three before beginning.

One, two, three...

"Til I find you. Every minute I'm without you, I lose. Cause an angel touched my heart and took, my cool. Every second burns like fire." I stopped and looked at her trying to keep my act going but failed once I busted out laughing just making her do the same.

"Dammit!" I shot my hands up "I almost had it all."

I heard her giggle which just made me feel better about the whole situation knowing I had somewhat lighten up the mood.

"What's so funny?" I teased pretending to be upset.

"That my boyfriend is such a cluts."

Boyfriend.

I took a few steps closer before bending down and pressing both of my palms to her cheeks "Boyfriend? Since when do you have a boyfriend?" I tilted my head to the side.

Madison shrugged "Do you have a girlfriend?"

"Maybe I don't know, she won't tell me." I let go of her face before letting out a chuckle at how ridiculous we sounded.

"Is she pretty?" Her eyes flickered up to my standing figure.

"More than you could ever know," I smiled "She's beautiful without any makeup on."

"Shut up, Austin."

"What? You don't believe me?"

"Whatever" She mumbled out before glancing in my direction. I sat by her side rubbing both of my hands together "What is that?" I furrowed not understanding what she was talking about. "The hat dipshit, since when do you wear beanies?"

"Oh," I brought my hand up touching the top of my head "Since I decided to change it up. Do you like it?"

Madison smirked while trailing her eyes over it then back down to my face "It looks hot but-" She reached up and took it off of my head "I like it better with no hat at all."

"Wow that was unexpected, thanks for ruining my hair."

"You're such a baby you know that? I don't know what problem you have against your hair but it's perfect the way it is. Girls would be all over you if you would actually go out every once in a while without any type of hat on."

"Why does it matter though?" I tested "I already have a girl. And last I recall, she fell for me with the hat on."

"Who the hell said that? Maybe it was the hair every time we would get in bed."

I laughed "You're taking that a bit far don't you think?" She shook her head "You're basically saying that you only liked me for my hair."

"But you know that's not true. It's never been about the hair."

"I know."

I felt her scoot closer to me before bringing her hand to my head "But I do like the curls a lot." She ran her fingers through my hair making me let out a soft moan. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"What colour are my eyes?"

I turned my head to face her, my gaze completely on her irises scanning the colour they held "You really wanna know?"

"Yes"

I cupped her cheek bringing my face closer to hers "Blue." And before I knew it, her soft lips were gently pressed against mine making me smile into the kiss not being able to control myself from doing otherwise. She was so sweet and innocent at times.

"I never thought I would love again," She whispered breaking the kiss "I was broken so badly. He had ripped my heart apart into a million pieces and I couldn't manage to put them back together until you came along. You fixed that, Austin. And you know what's the worst part?" She chuckled "I never thought that I would actually fall for you."

"How could you not? Maybe it was all part of my plan."

"Was it really?"

I smiled "Only if you want it to be."