Our Secret (Austin Mahone Fanfiction)

Part 22

- Madison’s point of view -

I wanted to run away but how? I didn’t know considering I was frozen in place. My whole body had tensed up and this sudden urge to throw up had taken over within seconds. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest and my throat closing dry the closer the figure got. My palms were now soaking wet and my breathing pattern—it was all over the place.

This can’t be happening, my mind spoke.

But indeed it was. Austin was walking towards me with his head hung low. He seemed so sad and I knew that I was the one who was to blame. I hated seeing him like this and even though he was still a couple feet away, it was clear as day what he was feeling and it’s then when the guilt started kicking back in.

I swallowed hard trying to get my mouth moist but it was no use. If my anxiety wasn’t high before, then I have no idea of what I’m feeling at the moment. I was so extremely nervous, stressed out, all the feelings that don’t mash up together. And just as this was happening, he was walking closer and closer to me not even letting me time to get myself somewhat back together.

The music that had previously been blasting through my headphones could barely be heard by now even though I never even bothered turning the volume down. I swore I could hear his steps getting closer, his breath that was going at a rapid speed along with the sound of his heart. He was aching with pain. I could hear it, I could feel it.

It’s then when his head shot up, our eyes making contact for the very first time in one whole week. He looked tired, broken, sad, torn apart, he didn’t have that smile. Even though he was looking at me, his head still hung low just letting me see the small of his eyes that were covered by his all too infamous snapback. They shun but didn’t have that familiar sparkle or twinkle, none of the above.

My hair carelessly fell in front of my face covering it up partially but I didn’t care. As much as I didn’t want to look at him, I couldn’t top myself from doing so—something pulling me towards him. The sight that stood before me seemed like the most spectacular thing I had ever seen in my life; perfection at its best. But it didn’t come as a surprise considering we were talking about Austin I mean after all, he is the most perfect being out there.

Before I knew it, he was standing right in front of me, his right hand caressing my cheek. I still wasn’t looking because somehow, I had manage to look away but now, it was stronger than me and I knew that he was only inches away so scooting my eyes up, his hazel ones met mine instantly. They were red and puffy just letting me to assume that he had done something I never, ever wanted him to do, and the fact that I probably caused it made my heart sink to the pit of my stomach leaving me to be in disgust with myself. I had absolutely no idea that it had hit him this hard because I swear that if I would’ve known I would have done something sooner, not wait a full week.

A half hearted smile came across his lips as he looked deep into my eyes, his lips moving in the process. Funny thing was, I couldn’t hear him as to my headphones were still plugged in so doing just that, I pulled them out of my ears and stuffed them in my back pocket the best I possibly could as Austin’s eyes never left my face for one second. His intense gaze was almost suffocating me but I tried to ignore it all together.

Once my orbs met his once again, I could feel it. All the emotions transferred in that one look and that was just enough to tell me how bad the situation actually was.

"Madison," He began his voice barely a whisper. He was ready to crack any second and that was the last thing I wanted to deal with at the moment. I couldn’t watch him break down right in front of my own eyes knowing that I was the one who caused it. This boy means the world to me and just to see him cry, I wouldn’t be able to even cope with that. "Why?" Tears engulfed my eyes at the pain that could be heard in his voice. I scanned repetitively his eyes, one after the other not having the slightest clue on what to say. I knew what he meant but God forbids that I don’t even know the answer to that myself.