Chapter Nineteen

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In two weeks I will be bathing in Los Angeles' very own sun rays. I decided that I will be going to do this music video. Shannon still won't tell me who it is, so I am a little skeptical, but what's life without risk? Boring.

Before I leave, I'm going to patch things up with everyone. That includes my father. Though over bearing, controlling, judgmental, and such a saint that he won't even spell the word sin, I do love and care for my father very much. There was a time when I was daddy's little girl, but that was years ago.

I can't just not be good with him though. He helped make me, he nourished me alongside my mother, he raised me into what I am today for the most part. Even if a lot of times I'm too stubborn to see how good my father has tried to be to me, I know it. Too many times have I painted him out as a bad guy when really we easily could have came to an agreement if I wasn't being childish.

I woke Shannon up early to get ready for church. While Shannon was getting ready, I made us breakfast. We were at Shannon's, so of course there was barely anything to make. I wrote out a quick list of easy things to buy from the store for the little bit of time we would be here.

Taking the bacon out of the oven, then shifting some on to each of our plates, I sat down on the counter waiting for Shannon. My face was planted in my phone, like always. I could smell Shannon's cologne as he inched his way into the kitchen. "Can I wear this?" His head was tilted and he had a curious look on his face. I smiled, examining his outfit. It was no suit and tie, but he looked clean cut and presentable. He wasn't wearing jeans, either.

"You look fine." I hopped down off the counter, going to wrap my arms around his waist. I pecked the bottom of his chin since it was all I could reach at the moment. "Good morning. I made breakfast."

"I know. It smells good." I took my arms from around him, telling him to go sit down. I poured his cup of coffee and fixed it to his liking, then poured a cup of hot tea for myself. "Do I have to meet your pops?" Shannon asked as I sat down.

"You don't want to?"

"I'm not homie that you grew up with, Ash. We two different people from two different worlds. I don't want yo dad judging me based off of that."

"I'm not going to lie to you. He's going to judge you, babe. He's going to compare you to Landyn. He might even compare you to my brother, but what he won't do is badger you and make you feel like you're nothing. I won't let that happen. If he gets out of control and doesn't stop, we'll leave. I won't let you sit there uncomfortable. I want a good relationship with my dad, but if he can't respect me and who I choose to be with then I guess we'll just be right back at square one."

"I don't want to be the reason you don't get right with him though. He gone always be there for you, I can leave whenever. I'm not going to do that, but I could."

"Since you been with me, have me and dad ever been cool? You weren't the reason then, and you're not now. It goes so much deeper than that." I sat up straight in my chair. I waited for Shannon's answer, but he just nodded and ate another piece of bacon. I sighed. not because of our conversation, but because he didn't believe me. He thinks he's going to break me and my family apart when truly we were never together. "I'm going to go get ready." I told Shannon while dumping my food in the trash and putting my plate into the sink. I had suddenly lost my appetite.

I showered and did my hair in silence, still undecided on what to wear. As always, I needed Shannon's help. Technically I didn't need it, but I wanted it because he was there and had a great sense of fashion. I threw on one of Shannon's tshirts and went to find him. I looked up and down his big ass house with him no where in sight. I went to the only room I was hoping he wasn't at and there I found him. The smoking room. He was sitting on the leather couch, head back, eyes closed, exhaling smoke. "Shannon?" He opened his eyes, but didn't look at me. "Can you come help me please?"

"Yeah." He managed to get out with his mouth half full of smoke. I stood at the doorway watching as he took one more pull from his blunt, then put it out on the small glass ash tray. "What you need help with, baby?" He said after releasing the last of the smoke from his mouth and starting to walk towards me.

" I don't know what to wear..." He smacked his lips, then rolled his before walking ahead of me.

"Come on."

Shannon picked out my outfit, then changed his own clothes because they smelled like weed. We went to church, earning a couple of stares from a few people that I've grown to call my aunts and uncles because they're so close to my family. I shrugged it off, but I could tell that Shannon was nervous.

--

Service went by smooth, no problems. Shannon was tense the whole time, but he kept denying it and telling me he was completely fine.

We stuck around long enough after the service to talk to a few people, then left for Shannon's house. At Shannon's we changed into more comfortable clothes. More of a casual formal, but still formal enough for tonight's Sunday dinner. I looked over at Shannon as he sat on the couch. The saddened look on his face bothered me. I wanted him to talk to me about what ever it was that was hurting him. He sat with his legs open, elbows propped on his knees, and his fist balled under his chin. I'm not used to seeing Shannon like this. He's been upset, he's been happy. The only time he gets any type of sad emotions is when Elexa is on his mind. I walked over to him and sat close to him, rubbing his back in a circular motion. "Can you please talk to me?"

"I told you already. I'm fine Ashleigh."

"No. You're really not."

"Well pretend like I am, damn. You ready or what?" I stood still for a minute, unsure of how to feel or react. He snapped on me for basically no reason. I just wanted to help him. You know, like a good girlfriend should. Deciding to save myself the argument and headache, I simply nodded. Tossing on a cardigan, I walked out of the door and to the car in silence.

We arrived to my parents' house a little before the dinner was supposed to start. Shannon parked and I immediately opened the car door to get out. Before my foot could touch the ground, Shannon had grabbed my arm, pulling my body back in. "I'm sorry for getting mad at you at the house."

"Okay. It never happened." I turned to get out the car, but he pulled me back again.

"I'm serious Ashleigh. I shouldn't have acted like that."

"You snapped, I understand. It's not like you yelled at me." He sighed.

"Give me a kiss?"

"We're going to be late." I started to get out only to be pulled back in yet another time.

"You mad at me. You would have kissed me if you wasn't." I leaned in and pecked his lips, trying to prove to him that I wasn't upset. "A real kiss." He leaned over the middle console pressing his lips to mine. Our kiss was interrupted by a loud continuous honk. I looked to see a very amused Landyn parked in front of us. Rolling my eyes, I sat back up straights.

We got out the car at same time Landyn was getting out of his. My plan was to make things right with everyone, so why not start with him. Even though I was highly annoyed, this needed to be done. "Landyn, can I talk to you for a minute?" He shrugged coming our way. Shannon put his back against his car, crossing his arms over his chest as Landyn approached us.

"What you want Ashleigh?"

"You don't have to be so rude."

"And you don't have to be such a hoe... But hey, it's life right?" My eyes narrowed, but widened as far as my face allowed when I saw Shannon's fist fly into his jaw. I spun around so fast looking at him. Jaw clenched, fist balled, nostrils flaring. One sexy man indeed. I shook my head, clearing the thoughts from my head.

"Why did you do that!?" I spoke loudly, but under a yell.

"He called you a hoe. Was I supposed to just sit here and listen to him disrespect you? I made you my girl, so I'm gone handle niggas like him."

"I had it under control... I was trying to make things better..." I sighed, putting my head down. "But thank you that was very ma-" I gasped, loosing my words. Landyn was now back on his feet. Instead of hitting Shannon like I would expect him to, he retaliated on me. He pulled my hair, making my neck snap back and looked down on me with only a look that the devil himself could muster up. I couldn't help the desperate scream that escaped my lips. Landyn went to speak, yell, whatever words he had to say to me, but before he could, Shannon had tackled him to the ground, hands wrapped around his throat. He punched him one more good time before getting up off the ground. I respected that he didn't try to kill to Landyn, but then again I wondered why. I wanted to kill Landyn. Beat his ass, rip his balls off, kick him in the face, then throw him through a meat grinder... Alive.

Shannon came to me, wrapping his arms around me tight. I didn't want to cry, but being in his arms I sobbed like a little girl. I couldn't get a grasp on what was happening in my life right now. Why things went so sour between me and Landyn, why Shannon punched him, why he lashed out at me...

My crying started to calm as I heard sirens ringing around me. I looked around to see most of my parents' neighbors, my parents, and Landyn's parents standing around staring. I felt uncomfortable, ashamed even, looking at my parents. My mothers face held a look of disappointment while my father's showed disgust. I couldn't pinpoint if the look was towards the commotion or me, but still I felt horrible. Like what just happened was in someway my fault. Which it was, I take full responsibility.

My fathers disowning threats certainly became reality today. Just the simple look on his face told me that. He wanted nothing more to do with me and my plans of making things right went straight down the drain. The police pulled up, three cars for one simple incident. They took my statement, Shannon's, then Landyn's and then a couple of people that saw the whole thing including my mother. Both Shannon and Landyn were arrested and I was left with the last officer.

"Alright, Miss Dawson." He smiled down at me. He stood a couple inches taller than Shannon. "How'd you end up with a couple of losers like them two?" He chuckled, pointing to the cop cars sitting curbside.

"You're here to do a job. Do it." I snapped already irritated with how he was talking. He was right, Landyn was a loser. A name calling, hair pulling bitch too. But Shannon, he had no room to talk about.

"Feisty, huh?" He smirked. "I like that. Anyways, which one was it that put his hands on you?"

"Landyn, the light skinned one." He nodded, writing something down in his notepad.

"Would you like to press charges?" I stood there thinking long and hard. It wouldn't make me happy to see Landyn in jail, it wouldn't benefit me at all. Plus I'm going to California soon, so I wouldn't have to deal with him. Who's to say I even have to come back home?

Before leaving I went and told my mom and dad about my plans to leave. Of course they didn't agree and especially not with the fact that I'm leaving with someone they don't know and just seen throw two jabs at their second son's face. I agree, not a great first impression. But the fact that Landyn was disrespecting me, put his hands on me, and was probably high as a kite didn't matter to them in that moment. The fact that Shannon only hit him to protect me flew right over their head. Well, my father's. The look on my mother's face face told a whole other story. She was just too scared to disagree with my father like always.

At Shannon's, I took a long hot bath trying to forget today's events. I played soft, sensual music to help. While I was in the tub, my phone rang. At first, I thought about ignoring it, but then remembered where Shannon was at. That could be him calling. I answered and to no surprise it was exactly who I thought and wanted it to be. "Hey baby." His voice was soft and husky. "What are you doing?"

"Taking a bath..." I sighed.

"With out me?" I giggled, smiling a little.

"Well, you did go and get arrested."

"For you..."

"I know, before bitch boy went grabbing my hair and what not I was trying to tell you how manly it was of you to stick up for me."

"I wasn't manly before?"

"I mean... A little, but not really."

"That's fucked up." He laughed. "I have to stay here over night, then I leave tomorrow." I sighed in relief. I wouldn't be able to deal with myself if he had to be in there any longer.

"And what time should I be there to pick you up?"

"Nah, I'll have my homeboy come swoop me."

"Oh, okay. What do you want for dinner tomorrow?"

"Shit, you if you'll let me." I chocked on the air, coughing while he laughed.

"That's a whole different conversation for whole other time." He chuckled some more.

"Surprise me though, for real. But I gotta go. I love you."

"I love you, too." I smiled to myself. It really does feel good knowing that I can say I love you to Shannon and actually mean it.

--

Waking up, I decided to first go grocery shopping. I picked up things for tonight's dinner, snacks, juices, and little quick things that we could make throughout the week. Knowing how Shannon ate, that would be gone before the week came to an end.

I cleaned up the house, even the parts that weren't dirty. I debated on doing Elexa's room. Not rearranging or picking up things, just dusting. I decided against even doing that. It just didn't sit well with me.

After cleaning literally every area that I could, I showered and changed into a pair of plain black leggings and a loose fitting, long sleeve hot pink crop top. I put on matching hot pink fuzzy socks and threw my wet hair into a tight bun on top of my head. I wore my glasses, not because I couldn't see, but because they made me look cute.

I heard the door opening as I flipped the breaded chicken breast in the thin layer of oil. Shannon walked into the kitchen. He was carrying a box of Krispy Kreme donuts and a small gift bag in his hand. He looked over at me smiling, setting the box and bag on the counter top. "I'm a free man baby." He joked, making me playfully roll my eyes.

"You were in there for a little over 24 hours. They probably just put you in a holding cell."

"They did. I still ain't like that shit." He put his hands on my hips then picked me up, wrapping my legs around his waist. "I missed you. You must missed me?"

"I always miss you. Even when you just be going to the studio I miss yo bald headed ass." He pinched my butt, making me squeal a little, then smack his chest. "Stop being childish."

"You just called me bald headed. That wasn't childish?"

"I'm 21, you 25." He smacked his lips before laughing.

"No sense making ass."

"Whatever, go take a shower so I can finish cooking for you." He set me down on the ground, kissing me and turning to walk out.

"Open your gift, too." He called out behind him. My eyes went to the table suddenly curious as to what was in the bag. I walked over to it, opening it up. There was a card on top. I opened it, reading it. It was basically just saying I'm sorry and I love you. Then I pulled out the three boxes that were stacked on top of each other in the bag. The smallest box held a pair of multicolor diamond studs. I opened the middle box revealing a matching tennis bracelet. When I got to the last box, the biggest one, I was overly excited. He had already got me two very beautiful, very expensive pieces of jewelry and what was in this last box had to be something good. I opened it up and was faced with money. Too much money. I could accept gifts, but him just flat out giving me a box full of money? All hundreds? That was too much. I placed the lid back on top of the box and put it back into the bag by itself. I planned on giving that back to him.

I finished dinner and Shannon came back into the kitchen. I bit the inside of my lip and adverted my eyes from his well toned shirtless body. He went over to the stove, making himself a plate as I poured juice for the both of us. He made my plate and sat them both on the counter top. He pulled out the tall bar stool for me and pushed in after me. "What you did was not that bad, why are you doing so much?" I giggled.

"I can't do too much for the woman that I love?"

"By all means, go ahead baby." I put my hands up in surrender and turned to start eating my food. "What you aren't going to feed me too?"

"Yo hands work." I rolled my eyes, giggling again. I really can't stand Shannon.

After dinner, we simply went into Shannon's room. I turned on the tv, plopping down in the bed. "You cleaned up?"

"Yeah. I was lonely as ever up in here."

"I see. Thank you, save me the troubles."

"Like you clean up anyways." I laughed. "You probably call your mom to do it."

"Exactly. That woman is worrisome. Save me the trouble."

"You're annoying, babe."

"And you aren't?"

"I am, on purpose." He nodded, pulling me closer into him and moving down to lay his head in my breast. He started to place gentle kisses on them, then sucked a little. "Shannon, you want to live right?"

"Mhm." He mumbled.

"Then stop."

"I'm sorry," he laid his head back into my breast, "but I was serious on the phone last night. I'm just waiting on you to be ready."

"What are you talking about?" I asked honestly confused.

"About me, " He placed his hand in between my legs and rubbed a little, "tasting her." He then stopped. I looked at him. My mind was racing back and forth. I know it would be wrong to do so, but the temptation was so thick. I shook my head, telling myself no, but a part in me wanted to yell out yes. In more ways than one.

I made my final decision a no. I could tell that Shannon was frustrated both sexually and emotionally, but he handled it well. He told me it was okay, he understood and respected my decision. He was willing to wait because he felt strongly that we would be a together for a long time. At first I thought he was just feeding me words, trying to make me feel some type of way. Regardless of if he meant anything he said to me or not, I went to bed that night feeling good wrapped tight in his arms.

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