I Think I Might Love You.

"to love is to destroy"

You woke up to your phone ringing. It was Magnus.

"Uncle b. Is everything okay, where are you?" You said

"I'm fine whiskers. I just wanted to let you know I will be gone a few more days, speak to Raphael. I will try to call again in a few days. I love you and stay safe"

That was all you got before he hung the phone up. You got up, went in the shower and got dressed. You text Raphael.

"I need to speak with you. Tonight, let me know when you can meet up"

You sent the text and then went and got alec up, you let him know magnus had called and what he said. Alec seemed off after you told him that, you tried to ask why but he just said everything was fine. You knew you had to go over to the institute and let izzy know what was happening. So, you let Alec get ready and then walked over with him.

"Are you going to see jace?" Alec asked.

"Honestly, I'm hoping I don't see him.  I know he'll need to be filled in but I was hoping you would do that.." You said

"Yeah, you tell izzy and I'll tell jace and then we'll meet in the library afterwards?" Alec said.

"Okay" you said before going to find izzy, you assumed she would either be in the training room or her bedroom. So you checked the training room first, she wasn't there. So you went to her bedroom and she wasn't there either, "great. Where has she went" you thought. You decided to check the kitchen. She wasn't there either so you made your way to the library to wait on the boys.

"Jace, can I come in?" Alec said standing at the door frame.

"Yeah, sure. Is (y/n) with you?" Jace said.

"Yeah, she's away to look for izzy" Alec said

"Izzys in my shower. She stayed in my room last night, so (y/n) won't find her unless she comes to look for her here" jace said.

"I doubt she'll come here. How you doing anyway? Can't imagine yesterday was good for you" Alec said sitting next to jace.

"Probably one of the worst days of my life, alec. That's not how I wanted things to go between me and her. How is she doing?" Jace said looking down at the ground.

"Honestly she doesn't know if you were telling the truth or not jace. About loving her. She just doesn't want to be hurt, you know. She got a phone call from Magnus this morning and she's focusing completely on that. I think she's just trying to distract herself. That's actually why I am here. Magnus told her to get in contact with Raphael. It must have something to do with Camille, I suppose since she didn't find izzy she'll be waiting in the library for the 3 of us. How about you go down there just now and I'll wait on izzy?" Alec said.

"Hurting her is the last thing I want to do Alec but somehow I keep doing it. Yeah, I'll go down and try to say sorry again. Can I ask you something before I go?" Jace said.

"Sure" Alec said.

"What did you mean yesterday when you said she helped you accept who you are?" Jace said.

Alec let out a chuckle. "I'll tell you later, I promise" Alec said.

You were stood in the library reading Raphaels text. He said "meet me at 8pm tonight at the mundane park near Magnus apartment". You were just to reply and then jace spoke.

"Hey. (Y/n), can we talk?" Jace said. 

You instantly tensed. You weren't ready to have this conversation with him.

"About Raphael sure. About anything else, no" you said turning round to look at him.

"I know you're not ready to forgive me. But I want you to know I am really sorry and when you want to talk I'm here" he stood still for a moment looking at you and then continued "I'll always be here, (y/n). No matter what. God, I want to give you this amazing apology and I had it all worked out in my head and it seemed so easy. But now that I'm standing here in front of you I just can't seem to find the right words or say the right thing" he said taking a step towards you. "Do you know why I called you a weakness?" He said the last part almost in a whisper.

You didn't say anything, you only looked at him waiting for him to carry on.

He looked at you for a moment and then carried on; "to love is to destroy and to be loved is to be the one destroyed". He moved closer to you "my father use to say that to me growing up. He taught me that love was a weakness and a true shadowhunter should have no weaknesses. But you are my weakness (y/n). Although I've come to realize that it isn't a bad thing" jace said finally standing in front of you. He stroked your cheek with the back of his hand.
You wanted to say something but you couldn't all you managed to say was "jace" but you said it so quietly you weren't even sure if he heard you say it until he replied. "It's okay (y/n). I dont expect you to say anything or forgive me just yet. I just wanted you to know" he said quietly backing away.

Just then izzy and alec walked in. They stood at the door for a moment probably to see if anything had changed between you and jace. You noticed Alec looking at jace and jace giving him a slight nod. You wondered what that was about but didn't question them.

"Raphael text me back he agreed to meet at 8pm at a mundane park around from Magnus apartment" you said

"Why a park?" Jace said

"Little strange isn't it" izzy said.

"I dont know, probably because its Near magnus place" you said.

"Are we all going?" Alec said.

Izzy and jace both said yes at the same time. You weren't really sure if all four of yous going was the best idea but you knew they wouldn't let you go on your own and then it would be an argument to see who would get to go with you. So you agreed.

You all sat around for a while talking trying to waste time before yous could leave. It must have been about 7:15pm when yous decided to gear up and leave.