Everyone was out of the house for today, so it was just me. Uncle Simon and the boys went to the studio and Lauren went out with some friends for tea.
"Oh no, did I get too close, oh?" I belted at the top of my lungs as I walked around the house, picking stuff up along the way- a house can get dirty with five teenage/young adults boys running around. Who's gonna hear me, right?
"Oh, did I almost see what's really on the inside?
All your insecurities, all the dirty laundry.
Never made me blink one time.
Unconditional, Unconditionally. I will love you unconditionally.
There is no fear now, let go and just be free.
I will love you unconditionally." After a week of being here I hadn't known there was a piano here. Wow, I'm smart.
"Come just as you are to me, don't need apologies." I began belting out again, playing the piano with it.
"Know that you are worthy.
I'll take your bad days with your good, Walk through this storm, I would.
I'd do it all because I love you, I love you.
Unconditional, unconditionally. I will love you unconditionally.
There is no fear now, let go and just be free.
I will love you unconditionally.
So open up your heart, just let it begin.
Open up your heart, and just let it begin.
Open up your heart, and just let it begin.
Open up your heart.
Acceptance is the key, to be truly be free.
Will you do the same for me?
Unconditional, Unconditionally. I will love you unconditionally.
And there is no fear now, let go and just be free.
I will love you, I will love you,
I will love you unconditionally." I finished, out of breath.
I jumped off the piano bench and onto the floor, scared, when I heard a bunch of loud clapping behind me. I turned around to see Simon and the boys.
"I didn't know you could sing like that, love." Liam said, smiling.
"I didn't know you sang at all." Uncle Simon said, shocked.
"I did." Niall admitted, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.
"And you didn't tell us, lad?" Louis faked hurt.
"She made me promise not to." Niall said quickly, pointing to me.
I just stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to say as they all looked at me. I was so embarrassed. I never wanted anyone to hear me sing because that would mean attention, and I wasn't good with attention- especially negative.
"Uhm.." I trailed off.
I couldn't take it. I ran upstairs and slammed my door shut and leaned on the door and slid down. I started freaking out. Then I realized, I was having a panic attack- or an anxiety attack- I get them both so it's hard to tell sometimes. I get them when I'm getting a lot of unwanted attention, when I'm really scared, and when I'm not sure what's going on/taken by surprise in a bad way.
I was sitting in the fetal position with tears streaming down my face when I heard a soft knock on the door.
"Go away!" I shouted.
"Kitten, what's wrong?" I heard Louis ask concerned.
"Kitten? What the hell?" I heard Zayn ask.
"Nothing, I'm fine. Just go." I said a little quieter.
"Not until you tell us what's wrong." Harry said truthfully.
I sighed, knowing I wouldn't win this fight and got up to open the door.
"Oh, baby." Louis whispered to himself when he saw my tears were wet with cheeks, not thinking anyone heard him but I did, and engulfed me in a huge hug. That made me cry even more and I ended up holding onto him for dear life. It felt almost as if I didn't hold onto him as tight as I was, he would disappear forever.
"Lo-o-oui-i-is!" I cried into his chest.
"Shh, shh, I know, love. I know." He cooed into my neck as he stroked my long brown hair.
We stayed like this for what felt like hours, but I know was only a few minutes, until someone cleared their throat. Me and Louis separated from the hug, but he didn't let go.
"What happened, Katy?" Zayn asked concerned, but his jaw clenched at the sight of Louis and I. But why?
"I don't do good with attention, that's all." I shrugged it off and walked over to my window seat and sat down, staring out of it.
"Katherine." Harry scolded.
"I get panic and anxiety attacks a lot." I stated simply.
"Why?" Niall asked confused.
"I just told you. I'm not good with attention." I sighed, getting up and walking over to my bathroom and pulled out one of my many bottles of medication. "That's why I have these."
"What are they?" Zayn asked coming up to me and putting his hand on my waist.
I saw Louis out of the corner of my eye glare at Zayn.
What's going on with them?
"Anxiety pills. My doctor back in Chicago gave them to me along with a few others." I said while leaving Zayn's grip and putting the bottle back up.
"Wait, if you're from Chicago, why don't you have a Chicago accent?" Harry asked as he swooped his hair out of his face and to the side.
"Because my parents are originally from Oklahoma, so I didn't have an accent like all the others." I stated, recalling my memories.
"Boys, Katy! Pizza's here!" I heard Lauren shout as she walked through the door. Everyone ran out like animals, everyone except Louis.
"Louis, there's food down there waiting. Go eat." I chuckled.
"Okay, but you're coming with me." He smiled cheekily.
I frowned. "I'm not hungry, Lou. Just go without me."
"Then I'm not hungry either." He said, sitting on my bed and tugging at my arm to sit me down next to him.
"Why don't you eat a lot?" He whispered, his pale eyes piercing into mine.
"I don't know. I just don't." I said looking down. I knew the reason all too well.
"Well, when you're ready to tell me, I'll be right here waiting." He said as he crawled on my bed and laid down right.
"Maybe someday I'll tell you." I whispered more to myself than him and crawled up there next to him and laid my head on his chest.
"Go to sleep, sweetheart. You've had a long day." He whispered into my hair as he wrapped his arms around me, kissed my head, and pulled me into his chest.
"Goodnight, Louis." I yawned.
"Goodnight, babe." He sighed and closed his eyes. As did I.
To be honest, I'm not sure what's going on between Louis and I, but I think I like it.
I think I like him.
---
Hey, everyone. Author here.
How do you like it so far? Yay or nay? Should I stop? Also, I chose Ryan Newman from 'See Dad Run' as Katherine.
Vote, fan, comment.
xx, Alexis.
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The Past Can Hurt. {Louis Tomlinson} (Complete)
Fanfiction"She loved him and he loved her, but it wasn't that simple."
