The Past Can Hurt. {Louis Tomlinson} (Complete)

Chapter Sixteen.

"Why the hell are you here!?" She exclaims, taking my shoulders and shaking me.

"Long story." I sigh. "I'll explain later."

"You shouldn't be here, Kat. It's not safe." Her voice lowered as she got closer and looked round as if to see if someone were watching. She called me Kat- I never thought I'd hear that again. She's the only one that ever called me that. I've missed her. We were so close, then one day..she just...left.

"What do you mean?" I said, my voice as quiet as hers and staring straight into her eyes.

"I mean," She walks me over to her bed and sits us down. "There's something going on here. I don't know what it is, but it's big. It's not good either. This place is weird and dangerous. The patients seem to be going....missing. like, out of the blue."

"But, Skylar-"

"I can't say any more. I've already said too much." She looks...scared..?

Before I can answer, there's a knock at the door, but it doesn't open. "Girls, time for lunch."

"Coming, Edna." Skylar calls before grabbing my hand and dragging me out.

"Is the food any good?" I ask, looking at all the other patients in the cafeteria.

"Are you kidding? Hell no!" She laughs as we get in line.

"Skylar, why're you here? And why'd you leave  me?" I finally ask, she abruptly stops what she's doing and looks at me.

"A different time, babe." She says quietly as she moves a strand on hair away from my eyes.

Skylar is about 5'7" and and twenty-two years old. She left when I was fourteen, which would make her seventeen at the time. She has black hair down to the middle of her back -a little shorter than mine- and piercing green eyes that are much like mine. She's very skinny, she could be a model. In fact, she had just landed a job as a model before she mysteriously left.

I wonder what she's hiding from me, she used to tell me everything. We were practically best friends. She was my best friend, that's why one reason I became depressed. My self harming started when she left, but I could never tell her that. She'd get mad at herself and beat herself up like she used to when she did something wrong or couldn't get something right. I'm not sure if she still does it or not, but it wouldn't surprise me. She was always very hard on herself. Hell, so am I. I guess it just runs in the family.

Our family is one of those "perfect" families. Everyone in the family has to be "perfect." If you're not, you're a disgrace. Our family, meaning me, my sister, and my mom and dad, were the outsiders. What I'm saying is, we were never our grandparents favorite. That was always my mom's sister's family or my mom's other sister's family. Never us. We were the "bad" ones. My sister and I never understood why, but now we do. Or at least, I do. We were a disgrace. That's what I always felt like, a disgrace. And I'm starting to wonder if my mother, dad, and/or sister ever felt that way.

Is that why she left? No, it couldn't be. Could it? I trust that she'll tell me. And I also trust that whatever she tells me, is true. I can't help but wonder though. She doesn't look the same. At all. She looks different, changed. Not the kind of change that you see when you don't see someone for awhile, but the kind where something inside them has changed. She doesn't look as happy, who could being stuck in here though. But that's not what I mean, she's lost the light in her eyes just like me. She doesn't laugh like she used to just like me. There's something big she's hiding, and I'm determined to find out what it is.

Neither of us are the same as we used to be, and I wonder if she notices those changes in me to? Does she notice the spark in my eyes is gone? Does she notice the muchness of me has left? Does she notice I'm not the same Katy she's last seen? What does she wonder or notice? I'm not the same "happy" Katy she's always known.

Who knows, maybe I'll never be truly happy again. Maybe I'll never get back the light in my eyes, maybe I'll never get my muchness back. Is there such a thing as true happiness though? Is there such a thing as being truly satisfied with life? I don't think there is. If everything was truly satisfying, there wouldn't be wars, there wouldn't be any conflict. So obviously there isn't anything such as satisfying. No one will ever know of a thing called satisfaction. After all, I did lose the best things that has ever happened to me. Louis.

I want Louis. No, correction, I need Louis. I don't know how I've gotten this far without him. Does he even know where I am? Has he even come back to the flat yet? Is he even worried about me? Probably not. Why would he be? I'm nothing. I knew it was too good to be true, yet I let myself fall anyways. I let him get too close. I told him things I've never told anyone, not even Sky! Maybe it was a mistake, maybe I should just let him go. I doubt he even wants to be near me anymore, he probably wants nothing to do with me. I don't know what I have to live for anymore. I say that like I did before. Ha, no! Until I met Louis, then everything came together...and I was finally happy again. I can't remember the last time I was as happy as I was with Louis.

Now, everything is falling apart again. My world is falling to pieces right before my eyes. It's like the perfect walls I had built, are crumbling to bits right in front of me. I feel like I could die or disappear and no one would care. Hell, I don't even think Niall would -and he said he loved me just an hour or so ago.  He was probably just being polite, why would he love me? Who would? That's right, no one.

"What're you thinking about?" Skylar asks me as we walk to a table with m our trays of slop.

"Nothing." I cover quickly. I can't let anyone know I'm having suicidal thought, I have to let them keep thinking it was just a tantrum.

"Kat, this is Spencer, Seth, Zander, Serena, and Paige." Sky informs me, pointing to each one. They smile and wave at me.

Spencer is tall, has dark brown hair in a small quiff, tan skin, and chestnut colored eyes. Very handsome, if I do say so myself. Seth has black hair in a quiff, blue eyes, and is tanner that everyone at the table but not too tan. He's not as tall as Spencer, but still tall. He's beautiful. Zander has dirty blonde hair in a low quiff and grey eyes, he's paler than the other two, and is striking. He isn't as tall as the others, but he's still tall. Serena is gorgeous. She has very curly brown hair with little blonde streaks, hazel eyes, and is about 5'9". She's practically perfect. And, finally, Paige. She had purple hair with a grey beanie, her eyes are so blue they're white, and she's very pale. She's about my height, so around 5'3". She's stunning.

"Hi, I'm Katy."

We spend the rest of the two hours talking and laughing. They're actually pretty cool. I'm surprised they're in here, they seem fine. But so did I.

You're crazy, my subconscious adds. Maybe I am, maybe I don't belong here. Who knows, maybe I don't belong anywhere. I mean, everyone would be happier if I killed myself. Everyone's told me so. My decision is made...

I'm going to kill myself.