say something | l.s.

- Chapter 23 -

Songs from the chapter:

Counting Stars by One Republic

Falling In Love At a Coffee Shop by Landon Pigg

*

“I will Louis. I will do everything to stop this, I’ll do everything so our friendship doesn’t change and everything will get back to normal. I’ll stop teasing you and start to act normally. I will-“ He stops himself. What he is saying is hurting me, I don’t know why because it shouldn’t be. But he says it as if it was easy for him to forget how he feels towards me, isn’t the love he feels for me strong enough? I think if he ever stops loving you, he will never going to actually forget you, is that true? Is that even how he thinks and how things will be? I find the idea of Harry stopping loving me terrific…

But it’s like I’m being bipolar, because in a moment I want him to stop loving me because he might get hurt and he deserves to be truly happy and loved but at the other I want him to love me with all of his strength, and this is the first time I actually think about it… I think it’s by hearing these words coming from him that makes me being selfish “This-This afternoon” he continues “I just… I just wanted a kiss, b-because I wanted you to remember how it would be to kiss me.” so he just wanted a kiss to remember? I don’t know what to think and how to feel about this whole thing, this is frustrating. I’m changing myself towards him. I’m changing the way I act around him, changing the way I think about him… fuck, I don’t love Harry so why this? Is this curiosity that I am feeling towards him? “Even I can’t remember how it is to kiss you so I wanted to do it again, but this time I wanted to keep the memory… I-“

“Then kiss me now.” What the hell Louis? I feel like all of this is a dream so I don’t really have control over my actions.

“Wh-What?”

“Kiss me Harry. Kiss me now so I can remember as well.” I feel the urge to repeat it, to make him know that I’m really asking for him to kiss me. I don’t even know if I really want to, but I’m desperate. I’m desperate? Am I desperate because I want Harry to keep loving me?

“You su-“

“Please…” I whisper and he gulps, but he’s quickly now to move forward. He supports himself with one hand against the blankets, next to me and rests the other one on the back of my neck. His hand is warm and it feels good to have him touching my skin, at the moment he pushes me to his lips he moves forward as well, so I’m feeling his lips on mines. Harry is kissing me… And I’m fucking kissing back!

He leans over and makes me lean my back on the pillows rested on the mattress, I stretch my legs so he’s between them now. He grabs my face with both hands and keeps kissing me. It seems familiar and it’s like I’m having flashbacks from that night.

The way he kisses makes me waking up for reality. This is not a dream and I had control over my actions. I asked for him to kiss me because I wanted to. I wanted you to remember how it would be to kiss me, and fuck I was too busy worrying about all of the shit it’s happening that I didn’t realize I wanted that too.

When I’m about to rest my hands on his back, to pull him closer, he pulls away. Is that it? Is it over? Shit, is lips are so soft, almost like I remember. The way he looks at me now makes me want to join our lips once again. This is disturbing, this is so not right. I’m feeling bad with myself. He loves me and I’m playing with his feelings

Just don’t fucking hurt him, whatever your feelings might be Louis.

I won’t Gemma, I promise.