Sirius Shorts (Age will vary)

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A/N: Clarification! This is not about Sirius's shorts and some of these won't even include Sirius, but it was a catchy title. This is just a bunch of short stories that I mushed together instead of making into like 50 more parts. I have no idea how long this will be but if I get more ideas after I finish the story I will add more of them. 

Age 17, Hogsmede.....

Lauren and Colin were on a date. It was Hogsmede weekend at Hogwarts and they had decided to go together. It was cold out, so they went to the Three Broomsticks for some butterbeer. They had just claimed a table when Lauren looked up and glanced at the window. Or, more accurately, who was in the window. She narrowed her eyes as a shaggy-looking black dog stared into the restaurant - straight at Lauren and Colin. She sighed and stood up. 

"I'll be right back." she told Colin, gritting her teeth and walking out of the Three Broomsticks. Colin watched curiously as Lauren left. A moment later she appeared at the window and grabbed the dog by his ear, dragging him away. Her face was angry and she disappeared from sight. 

Lauren grabbed the dog and pulled him away from the window. Even in his animagus form, she could see the scared look on Sirius's face. 

"Take me to the others." she ordered. The dog smiled at her and attempted to lick her hand. "Don't even think about it, Snuffles." she growled. He whimpered and led her to the edge of the woods, where Remus and Harry were waiting. Upon seeing Lauren, Remus and Harry's eyes widened. "What the hell are you doing?" she demanded. Harry looked at her sheepishly. 

"I heard from Ginny that you were on a date." he admitted. 

"So." Lauren persisted. 

"So, we were going to spy on you to make sure he didn't try anything." he continued. 

"Colin is far too polite to 'try something' as you would put it. Maybe he should give you all manners lessons, seeing as you desperately need them. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a spy-free date to get back to." she snapped. She slapped Harry for good measure and stormed back into the Three Broomsticks, where Colin was waiting, an amused expression on his face. 

"Sirius?" he asked. 

"And Remus. And Harry." Lauren added, taking a sip of her butterbeer. "Wanted to make sure you didn't try anything." she mocked. Colin grinned. 

"You mean, try something like this," he questioned, tucking her hair behind her ear and kissing her. She smiled, kissing him back. 

"Exactly like that." she whispered.

Age 8, Sirius's house...

Tonks and Lauren were in the living room, playing cards, when Tonks let out a shriek.

 "What?" Lauren asked urgently. 

"There's - there's a spider on the ceiling" Tonks cried. Then she recovered and picked up a shoe. "I'll get rid of it." she said, faking bravery. Lauren grinned. 

"No! Don't!" she insisted. Tonks looked at her. 

"Why?" she asked. 

"Because, I know a much funnier way to get rid of bugs." Lauren declared. Tonks plopped back down on the couch. 

"Do show me," she insisted. Lauren smiled.

 "SIRIUS!!!" she shrieked in a high-pitched, scared voice that was so unlike her own that it was impressive. "THERE'S A SPIIIIIDER!!!" she whined. Sirius walked into the room and spotted the bug. 

"Oh, you chose the wrong living-room ceiling mate." he announced, drawing his wand. "Incendio!" he cried, and the ceiling next to the bug caught fire. "Shit. I missed." Sirius realized as Lauren and Tonks sat on the couch tying not to laugh. "Incendio!" he tried again. The bug moved out of the way. " Incendio! Fuck! STOP MOVING!!!"Sirius swore. Remus entered the room after smelling the burning ceiling. 

"Aguamenti." he said, quietly putting out the fire as Sirius admitted defeat. Remus conjured up a paper and a cup and trapped the spider before letting it out the window. He saluted as it crawled outside. The salute is what made them snap. Lauren and Tonks burst out laughing, rolling on the floor with bright red faces. 

"I - told - you - this - would - be -funnier!" Lauren said between gasps. Tonks only laughed harder as Remus and Sirius stared at them in confusion. Lauren was about to compose herself when a piece of the charred ceiling fell on Sirius's head and she lost it again.

Age 5, Muggle school...

"Today," the teacher began, "We will be making Mother's day cards for you to give to your mommies." She the teacher explained, Lauren grew more and more confused. What was Mother's day? And, more importantly, what was a mother? She decided to ask. She raised her hand.

 "Yes Lauren?" the teacher questioned. 

"What's a mother?" she asked. The teacher froze for a moment, staring at her. Then her face contorted in sadness and pity. 

"A mother is... well, it's your mommy, your mom. The one who takes care of you." the teacher explained. 

"And cuts the crusts off your sandwiches!" a boy added.

 "And tucks you in." a girl chimed in. 

"And kisses your knees when you scrap them and your fingers when you slam them in the door." another boy added. 

"Do you not have a mommy?" The teacher asked. Lauren frowned, thinking about what the kids had said. 

"Well," she began. "I have a Mooney." The teacher smiled. 

"Then you can make a card for your....Mooney." she suggested. 

"Okay!" Lauren agreed.

Later....

Lauren bounced into the dining room, a piece of construction paper in her hand. 

"How was school?" Remus asked.

 "It was good. The teacher made us make Mother's day cards, only I didn't know what a mother was but I said I had a Mooney so she said to make a card for you instead so I did and here it is." Lauren replied, giving Remus the card. Sirius and Remus glanced at each other for a moment. 

"Lauren," Sirius began. " You have a mother. She's just not here, remember?" he reminded her. 

"Oh. Right." Lauren said, remembering the picture in her room. "But if she's not here, then I couldn't give her the card anyways so I made one for Mooney instead. Do you like it?" she asked. Remus smiled at her. 

"It's very nice." he proclaimed, kissing her head. Suddenly, Sirius burst out laughing. 

"What?" they asked. 

"She made a card for her Moomy!" Sirius cried. "That's it! From now on, you're Moomy!" he declared. Remus stared at him as he laughed. When he had composed himself, Remus looked him dead in the eye and said, 

"Dadfoot." 

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