Chemistry (L.T.)

Chapter 32

Alexia POV

Two weeks had passed since Marie had walked in on Niall with another woman.  For the first few days, I would wake up every morning to a voicemail.  I wouldn't even have to look at the name to know who was calling.  I deleted most of them. The few I listened to were filled with empty apologies.  Niall's voice echoing that it had all been a mistake, that Marie hadn't seen what she thought she had, that if he just had a moment to explain himself that he could make things right, that if I would just call him back everything would be better.  I never called him back, and after a few days I didn't wake up to voicemails anymore.  

As time passed I realized that things had changed.  The world around me that had seemed so perfect and full of life wasn't what it seemed anymore.  I wasn't going to fall in love, everything wasn't going to work out as I had planned it. Life wasn't fair, life wasn't sunshine and rainbows.  I had changed, and the people I surrounded myself with changed in response to it, like I was a plague infecting one person after the next.   

Even Marie, my closest friend, radiated the pain from my own misery.  She approached me with caution, never asking too much, keeping her distance, giving me my space.  For the first time in my life I felt utterly alone.  I had no one to turn to and I was starting to believe that I would never find my happiness again.

That was on the inside of course, on the outside when I was putting on a show, I could win a Oscar for my performance.  I went to class dressed to the nines, with the fakest smile I could muster.  To someone who didn't know me, it would seem that I had it all together.  That my break-up with Niall had had no effect on me.  But the girl that looked back at me in the mirror told a very different story.  

As I slid into my seat next to Louis in Chemistry Lab, I stayed silent.  We didn't talk to each other anymore.  Not even the small talk, nothing more than was absolutely necessary to complete our project-which was going horribly at the moment. We'd never spoken of that night.  I hadn't yet mustered up the strength to apologize and admit my shortcomings, and it was as if he didn't want to wake the beast by mentioning a single thing about it.  This was exactly how I had wanted it weeks ago, but I couldn't help but wish that one of these days he would make a joke like he used to about the Professor's outfit for the day, or tease me for being so focused on the assignment.  

"I will now be passing out the tests from last week before you leave. I have to say I was a tad disappointed in the scores, I expected more after your scores on the first exam. " Professor Smithson seems to stare in our direction.  I had forgotten we had even taken a test. 

"Really? I thought it was easier than the last one" I hear Louis mutter under his breath.  He doesn't look at me when he is speaking though.  As if he doesn't want me to think that was meant to be a conversation starter between the two of us.  I wasn't sure I agreed with Louis's statement.  That test was definitely not easier than the last one, but then I again I had a lot on my mind.  A low B on one test wasn't going to kill my grade now was it?

Professor Smithson walks down the aisles, laying each test on the lab bench in front of the students one by one.  The slight grin on her face tells me that she somewhat enjoys seeing the fear in each students eyes as they get handed a quarter of their fate for the class on a small sheet of paper.  She sets the exam in front of Louis first.  I listen as he slowly peels his paper face side up, I glance out of the corner of my eye to see a look of relief wash over his face and a slight grin.  The crinkles become visible at the edge of his eyes.  

She sets the paper in front of me next, and I mentally warn myself before I flip it over.  This wasn't going to my best score in the class, and that was okay.  I could get something lower than the A's I had grown used to during my high school years.  It wasn't the end of the world.