Take Charge

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Dear Daughter,

Today, you shared with me a little bit about your dreams for the future. You shared what you want to do. I love that about you. You are always planning and figuring and setting goals. You have the ability to do anything you want to do! You have always been that way. Do you remember the one afternoon when your sister's team was doing a fundraiser at a restaurant and they took care of a section of the restaurant and earned all of the tips from that section? You decided to help the team out. But, you took it a step further. Not only did you take care of their section of the restaurant, you took care of every section of the restaurant. The owner was there that day and came up to me and told me that I have an entrepreneur on my hands. He told me that you took command of the restaurant, of his wait staff, of everything. He said that you were willing to do every job to take care of the customers and that you had no problems delegating. He was so proud of you. He told you to not forget him when you are a huge success someday!

At school, you are the girl who takes charge of everything. You are on student council, you managed to take yearbook your freshman year when you are supposed to be a junior. You do the work of the class officers when you aren't yet a class officer yourself. You have no problems talking to teachers, asking for what you need, and taking a stand when you think something needs done. You fight your own fights and we just have to step back and watch in amazement as you command everyone. You aren't afraid to speak out, but you are respectful and the teachers and administration compliment you all of the time. 

At your volleyball banquet, when your coach gave each of you a word, she nailed it with you. Her word for you was knowledge. Remember that. It applies not only in volleyball but in all you do. She said that you have a knowledge for the game that outweighs everyone else. You take charge on the court, you always know where everyone needs to be, you know the game inside and out. She said that you are a great setter because you can spot set and that you have no problems setting to your middles. I have watched you grow as a player. I have invested in you as a player. Every penny that I spend on you for your volleyball is worth it to me to watch you play a sport you love and play it well. You are the most competitive and most athletic of the three girls in our family. That is a pretty tough thing to accomplish after your middle sister. You do it with grace and you do it with dignity. I appreciate that you are thoughtful and that you take the time to be a leader who doesn't have a "big head."

I also love that you are so caring and that you would do anything for your friends. You treat your friends like they are family and you worry about them with all of your heart and soul. You also try so hard to not show when you are hurting. I know right now, the things that your best friend said to you in anger weigh heavily on your mind. You have given him the world and never asked for anything but his friendship in return. Don't regret what you have done for him but take the step away for now and let him figure out the things he needs to figure out. I think he is feeling like life is out of control because he isn't calling the shots. But, it is time for you to stand up and call your own shots and know that he doesn't have to approve of who you like but also know that he doesn't have the right to call you names and to talk badly about you to others. You have the right to tell him that you don't like what he is doing. You are too sweet to him and too worried about hurting him to tell him the things you need to tell him. 

Now, you know that I love to give you advice and I know that you listen to it even when I don't think you are. It is time for you to be happy! Don't worry about someone's feelings being hurt. He will get over it. He doesn't have the right to tell you who it is ok to like, date, etc.. He doesn't get that say. So, go ahead and like the young man that you like. He is a wonderful choice for you. You are both so shy and such great kids. I see it. I see the way you two glanced at each other at breakfast. No, you didn't talk much but that is actually one of the nicest things to see. I love seeing that awkward getting to know you stage that you are in. Keep building the friendship and see where it goes. I have a feeling that great things come to those who wait and I think that the two of you have a great future ahead. I know that you fell in love with his parents the moment you met them. The fact that his dad was drinking a Dr. Pepper and told you to throw something at his son did it! And, you were so excited to meet his mom and she lived up to every one of your expectations. I hope that you get to know them well. I hope that you get to spend time with them. I can tell already that they are supportive parents. I have a feeling that they, like me, will be willing to help you two make things work. I have a feeling that the young man you like will be the one who will come support you as you play sports and I know that you are planning to go support him. I don't mind driving you, and your dad won't mind letting me. Even though your dad hasn't met him, he likes him already. He loves that he is an athlete and that he is a well rounded kid. I hope we can take him places with us, like the trips to Cedar Point and maybe even a weekend away. I appreciate the fact that I can tell his parents will be like us and have boundaries and limits so I can feel comfortable letting you go places with them and they will hopefully feel that same way.

So, kiddo, my wish for you is that you find your happiness. My wish for you is that you get your dreams. My wish for you is that you get the guy and that he gets the girl. I love you to the moon and back. 

Love,

Mom

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