Dear Daughter,
Just two weeks ago, you had your first rodeo weekend. It wasn't your first rodeo, but it was the first one that was a camping weekend with all the other rodeo kids. I learned a lot that weekend about you and your friends.
Fast forward two more weeks and here we are, on another Sunday night, on Mother's Day. This weekend was all about you, and nothing makes me happier.
Once again, you rode, your times got a little better, and you tried yet another event. You went into this weekend with things in a tail spin. You thought you were set for a horse, then got a message that changed that. You ended up on the horse you planned to run when those plans changed yet again.
This weekend though, I saw a change in you. For the first time ever, I saw that you like two guys. For you, this would be really difficult. You have always been the girl to only like one person. But, I see why you like them both. To tell you to make a pros and cons list about them would be very difficult. They are very alike with just little differences. One, you have liked for a few months but you know that he's your best friend's brother and that he doesn't look at you the same way you look at him. You've accepted that and you are ok with that. The other one, well... You've known about him, you've known his name, and you've been watching him for quite some time. But, you really just met him two weeks ago. In the two weeks you've been talking to him, you have found yourself falling for him. I know you didn't expect it. You were sure you knew exactly who you liked. I've heard though, that he's been just as hurt as the other one. You are in the toughest spot of all. You got to spend time with him this weekend and I know that you were falling for him more.
Here is where the where comes in... I'm positive this is the guy you'd like to take a chance with. But, on the way home, we talked about the rumors people were spreading because they saw you two together. I talked to you about it. It just breaks my heart when I tell you that I hope that rumors and stupidity don't ruin things. And with tears and a whisper I hear "it wouldn't be the first time."
Maybe you need to take the chance. I know what you are looking for. You've shared your future plans with me. He fits in with what you want, the rodeos, the farm or ranch life, the future you've been setting yourself up for. You don't know, maybe he's looking for the same thing. Maybe he sees it in you. Maybe he's scared too. He's been in a long distance relationship that didn't go well. Maybe he'll realize that you aren't her, that you are you and that you are looking for the same thing he is.
You don't let distance scare you. You know that it can work. You know you have the family support to help make it happen too. That's what road trips are for, that's what weekends are for. He's going to be doing a lot of traveling but that's not a big deal. You know that it's part of who he is. Yes, he's older than you but that's not a big deal either. That's little things in the grand scheme of life. It makes the time you do get together even better because you get to spend the time you are apart talking and becoming best friends.
My wish for you is that he may want to take chance. I talked to your sister about it and she had some great advice. He's been hurt but he took that risk. If a guy isn't willing to take that risk again, than he isn't worthy of you because you have so much to offer. You love with all of your heart. You are generous, caring, kind and beautiful inside and out. You'd give your last penny to a friend in need. You are creative and thoughtful. You are willing to do whatever it takes to make it work. But, your sister also said something very profound... Mom, we all get hurt by someone. We need to be with the person that we are willing to get hurt with. If they are together for fifty some years like grandma and grandpa or twenty eight years like you and dad, they will hurt each other. But the difference is, it's a hurt worth fighting for. She's been hurt by her fiance in the three years they've been together but she says that it's still worth it because he's the one she loves. It's not huge hurts, it's sometimes just little things. But, you get through them and you grow together.
Are you willing to wait? Are you willing to accept that he might not like you? I know that's the tough part, it's all you've known is that disappointment. You've saved your first everything for someone worthy of you. Someone is going to be lucky to call you their girlfriend, to talk on the phone, to have video dates, to want to come see you or you get to go see them. You know you have my support, I'll take you for weekends, drive you to rodeos, get you where you need to be. Even if we have to make dinner plans one night a week during the week. He'll understand that you also play another competitive sport that requires you to travel and he'll want to support you too. But, you also accept that you each have busy schedules and that some months will be tougher than others. But, you have what it takes to be the one. You have what it takes to be best friends, a couple, and more.
I know you are down right now. I know you don't think it's ever going to go your way. But, just keep being you. He's going to see it. He's going to know what you aren't her and that distance means nothing. If he doesn't, then he's lost out on a really terrific opportunity to maybe have the person he's meant to be with forever by his side.
Whew, I feel like my thoughts were random tonight. I guess that I'm looking at you and I know you made the choice. You've decided which one you like. I hope he likes you too. Yes, you've only really known each other for two weeks. Two weeks could be the start of a great friendship, a new chapter, and a new beginning. He could be your first and only, what you are looking for and what you believe in. I guess time will tell. But, don't let those who are jealous of the two of you ruin you. Because, that's what starts the rumors. They are just trying to stop something beautiful from happening.
Do you know why they are starting the rumors? Look around. You are the new girl, surrounded by the best of the best in friends, mentors, and most of all attitude, character and spirit. They are jealous. It's kind of ironic because you are the girl surrounded with all the great things but you're working for them. You've made your dreams come true. You've borrowed horses, saddles, and tack. Your willing to sleep in a tent, or camp out wherever. In the end, you can't compete with most of them in the obvious ways, with money and flashiness and multiple horses. However, you've got what they don't have. You have the best of the best people surrounding you!
Love you always,
Mom
