Amour

Chapter 15

Louis’ POV

Fuck him. Fuck his dimples. Fuck his curls. Fuck him for causing these stupid, unwanted emotions. Fuck that church. Fuck this. Fuck everything.

I angrily lit yet another cigarette, exhaling the toxic fumes. Glancing down, I realized I had gone through an entire pack just today. Good. Maybe I’d die.

Okay, perhaps I was being a little melodramatic. I just hated this feeling. It was so foreign and unusual. It was like there was a permanent knot in my stomach and lump in my throat. I felt so shitty. I knew the word I was looking for but I didn’t want to admit it, even to myself, under any circumstances. No, I wouldn’t- I couldn’t admit just how fucking guilty I felt.

I knew the right thing to do would obviously be to apologize and make things right, Hell, I should’ve called him back the moment it happened. I didn’t really intend on doing anything with that girl, she was just another random slut that hung around. She meant absolutely nothing to me. But Harry… shit Harry. I hated to admit it, but he did. The little awkward shit weaseled his way into my life and screwed everything up for me.  I wasn’t supposed to feel like this. I wasn’t supposed to have these thoughts. I fucked for pleasure, that’s it. I was never into all that stupid romantic relationship crap. It was all bullshit. Yet, somehow I manage to catch myself daydreaming about holding his stupid hand and kissing his stupid face. Which is exactly why I was working so hard to stop it. It would much less painful for everyone if I just hurt him now and got it over with. He may be upset now, but really I’m just saving him from future suffering in the long run.

At least that’s what I told myself. I knew deep down I was just a pussy and couldn’t own up to my mistakes. I didn’t want to face Harry. I couldn’t face Harry.

Which is why I already decided I wasn’t attending that awful youth group tonight. I hadn’t even been to school in days. I knew if I didn’t get my shit together I’d get suspended yet again, but I couldn’t bring myself to care.

I needed time to clear my head and relax. And what better way to do that than get shitfaced at one of Niall’s iconic parties tonight? Yes, all I needed was a night out to forget about my troubles, to forget about Harry. I just needed a drink… or twenty.

Harry’s POV

Waking up in the morning wasn’t so bad when I didn’t dread going to school anymore. I hopped out of bed and rushed about, preparing for my second day of school. My usual scowl was replaced with a grin as I got dressed. I couldn’t wait to see Liam again. I was even more excited to hang out with him tonight. It was reassuring that he actually wanted to see me outside of school and I wasn’t just the new weird kid he pitied. I still hadn’t formulated a plan to get out of youth group but I wasn’t too worried, my parents were pretty gullible. 

I finished my cereal and slurped down the remaining milk before grabbing my bag and heading toward the door where my mum was waiting patiently.

“Ready?” She yawned.

“Mhm” I nodded, trying to keep the giddy grin off of my face. I was eager to see what new adventures I would happen upon today. The only thing I wasn’t too thrilled about was seeing a certain menacing dark haired boy. I was hoping that he was just having fun messing with the new kid, but the annoying voice in the back of my head kept screaming warnings. Bright, flashing warning signs were alarming me constantly of the danger ahead. Something deep down told me that Zayn wasn’t the type to just innocently play around with people like that. No, he was after something more and unfortunately for me, Zayn wasn’t one to give up so easily.